should be the case I shall think it my duty to inform myself as far as I am able of the whole affair,

"The cause of the division was a few leading preachers having obtained such a power over the people and the junior preachers as to keep them in the greatest subordination.

"For six years the Societies in vain remonstrated with the Conference, (or annual assembly of preachers,) and requested at different times an alteration in its laws and form of government, which they thought highly oppressive. They were at length fully convinced that the Conference would not make the alterations in favour of the people which were thought so reasonable and necessary: this, with the various refusals they had received, as might be expected, roused them to opposition. In August, 1797, the Conference was held at Leeds, and a number of delegates from societies in various parts of the kingdom assembled to make another application to have their government placed on a liberal footing. They demanded of the Conference that delegates should be suffered to meet with them, and this request was positively refused. After this the delegates requested that they might be permitted to assemble by themselves, and give their sanction or disapprobation to any important business that might be debated by the Conference. This was not only refused, but the delegates were informed that they should not even have the privilege of meeting with the preachers in the district meetings. These various refusals brought matters to a conclusion; a division immediately took place; many societies rejected the preachers sent to them by the Conference, and a new Conference and itenerancy were established on liberal and Scriptural principles.

"The New Conference made this public declaration: 'Be it known to all the world that we have not separated on account of doctrines. Church government, and that alone, is the ground of the separation!'

“Mr. Kilham had a thorough knowledge of all these particulars, and his inflexible integrity made him determined to remonstrate against those corruptions of which he was a constant spectator, and he published several pamphlets to expose them to the Societies. He was in consequence of this arraigned, tried, and expelled by the Conference.

"Many of Mr. Kilham's brethren, both among preachers and people, thought him highly qualified, on account of his piety, unabated diligence, and zeal, to take a prominent part in the formation of the New Connexion and New Conference. He therefore gave way to their solicitations, and in this engagement he spent the remainder of his life."

for I think it impossible to make a rational decision in favour of either party, without hearing both sides of the question.

"8th. I have not improved my time as I ought. I feel determined by the grace of God to begin with renewed vigour. I want to begin as though I had everything to learn, and everything to do, and I know not how little time I have. May this one prayer be heard! and may I be helped constantly to ask myself, Is this the best use I can make of my time?' Blessed be God! He never yet denied a request that was for our soul's good; and I believe He will hear me in this, and will help me by His grace to read more, act more, and in all things to live with an eye more to His glory than I have ever done!

"9th. My friends say that if I look any farther into the affair of the division I shall be sure to repent. But I cannot help thinking it my duty to take the means of judging for myself. Who are these poor Kilhamites, (as they are called,) so despised by some and pitied by others? They are immortal souls, they are not contemptible,not beneath our notice! Oh, God, direct me! Some people talk as though Kilham's books were weapons of death. If the influence of any man's opinion, or example, could form my decision, I think it would be Mr. B.'s; but I dare not knowingly have respect of persons in judgment. Oh, make me ready to be anything or nothing, as Thou wilt; only let me be sure to hear Thy voice!

"12th. I was unhappy the beginning of this day; but afterwards much clouded, perhaps from having suffered some employments to keep me from secret prayer, to which I had been drawn. I was also

distressed by the fear of my conduct being influenced by improper motives; but the cry of my soul was, Lord, search me, and try me! Prove the very ground of my heart, and whatever there is wrong in me, oh, do Thou discover it, and take it away, and sanctify me fully! Oh, make me pure in heart, that I may see God!

"13th. My soul is in anguish, for I cannot decide which party is right; and this hesitation is a great cause of distress; but I look to God for help, and trust to find it.

"14th. Was accused to-day, by a friend, of several wrong dispositions, of which I was not conscious. I do not know that my mind was wounded, but my joy was damped. I had intended going to Mr. Kilham's chapel in the evening, but my friends so strongly objected to my going so soon that I gave way. However, I was not quite sure, when at our own chapel, that I was right; only this I believe, my motive in resigning my intention was pure.

"15th. I have this day a great spirit of enquiry. I want to see things as they are. I want to be informed, when good men disagree in their judgment, how we may know who is in the right. It appears to me that the original justice of a cause cannot depend on the multitude of its adherents, nor on the stability of those who profess themselves its followers. Truth comes from God, and its object will ever be a conformity to the revealed will of God,—an uniform coincidence with the law of love,-a consultation, not of present gratification, but of future good.

"18th. Truth depends not on any man's receiving or rejecting it. If Mr. Kilham's friends

C

have truth on their side, they will prosper though all men forsake them. With these views I went this evening to their chapel. Mr. Kilham preached from Psalm xci. 4. The presence of God was, I believe, generally felt in the meeting. My soul was calm and happy.

"The 19th, 20th, and 21st, I had a good deal of reasoning yet I trust not hurtful reasoning-with myself about the path I ought to take in order to a real conformity to the will of God. Supposing this new plan of government to be more agreeable to the Scriptures, and more likely to promote the general good than the old, is it merely the idea of a change that should prevent one entering into it? Is it not thought right and commendable to make new laws and regulations in the Conference, and so in a measure to change the government? Had nearly the whole of the Conference approved of the plan which Mr. Kilham's friends proposed, I suppose they would then have thought it necessary to change the whole government of the body; and if so, why should they blame in a few the conduct they would themselves have pursued, had their views been the same? The men who remain in the Old Connexion cannot take the consciences of the others into their own hands; then why should they wish to influence their actions contrary to their consciences? I cannot see why a part, more than the whole, should be condemned for following the way they conceive to be the best. I want to see more clearly; indeed the principal thing that disturbs me is the fear that this new government may be ill administered, and then what better will it be? Yet if the body of the people determine to act with a single eye for the

glory of God and the good of the whole, I believe they will form a constitution which neither time nor circumstances can ever shake.

“22nd. I was shocked at the unfeeling manner in which I offered, and generally do offer, my evening sacrifice. We retire rather late, and I am often wearied and sleepy, and just repeat the petitions, or perhaps thanksgivings, that come into my mind, with nearly as little faith or feeling as though I were running over a form of prayer for the sake of it. O God, be merciful to me! do not suffer me to use Thy name in this unhallowed manner! Justly mightest Thou have sent total darkness over my soul! But, oh, quicken me! rouse my drowsy powers, and help me from this hour to offer every act of worship,-not with my lips only, but do Thou engage every power of my soul !

"25th. Oh! that I might adorn the doctrine of God my Saviour in all things! I want not only to be saved from everything sinful, but from all that is trifling, and inconsistent with the spirit of Christianity in any degree.

"27th. At the Benevolent Society Meeting some of the company, when the business was over, spent some time in proving how little a preacher has for the support of his family. Indeed it is but little; yet a minister of the gospel ought to be able to live on that little. Our real wants are very few, and luxury cannot be encouraged in the body without effeminancy entering the soul; yet their conversation rather disturbed me. I do not like so much controversy. There are many who differ from me in judgment, to whom I yet feel that degree of affection that makes me suffer when I think of giving them pain. First one and then