« AnteriorContinuar »
CHAPTER X. V.
Receives Fifty-sia, Children from the Church. Missionary School, which is relinquished—Visits Liberia— Close of the Journal—Her Death.
“12th mo. 6th. IN retracing my own deficiencies in that which is good, I feel sensibly that I can have no hope before the Most High, but the hope of acceptance as a sinner whose redemption and reconciliation are wrought out by the atonement and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the refuge and rest of a perishing world. O, that the remembrance of this may keep me humble in all circumstances, and that Divine grace may so soften and subdue my mind as to lead me to treat with those who do wrong in the spirit of Christian gentleness, and with the disposition that strives to restore and to save rather than to reproach and condemn; seeking at the same time to convince those who do wrong, and not merely to direct them to avoid such and such things without seeing why they are so directed. This course I know calls for much patience, and often for that unconquerable forbearance which to some minds, having a keen sense of right and wrong, is very difficult to attain; yet such a forbearance can only be gained by the influence of Christian principle, and by the feeling which acknowledges having had much forgiven, and sees the necessity of being willing to forgive; still, however, keeping in mind that we are to seek to lead their minds, and direct their habits to the best of our power. Not by any means sparing ourselves from the difficulty of combating their errors and wrong tempers, by allowing them to increase and grow unheeded. To do thus were to exchange one kind of evil for another, and to substitute for irritability the indulgence of indolence. “7th. I have this day been closely engaged, and am led to look back on the time spent in the vicinity of London during the last ten years, and to feel sensibly, that although it has been in some respects a season of trial to faith, it has also been a season of great privileges and many blessings. How greatly have I been favoured with opportunities for interesting and useful occupation; and with such a divestment of care as left me much at liberty to think and feel for others. I had also, at the same time, the privilege of valuable, intelligent, and Christian society. “8th. There is much to do in England. Some better arrangements are needed to diminish the temptation to crime, by putting the poorest in the way of being benefited by instruction and industry. From my own experience in Africa, I am satisfied that the want of sufficient nutriment, and too much labour, are both unfavourable to the mind, and to the disposition to peace and love with those around us, and I am thus prepared to sympathize with the poor, and long to help them. “9th. It seems to me, that as superintendents and directors we should ever bear in mind that we are fellow-probationers with the dear children. So infinite is the distance between ourselves and the Almighty power towards whom we desire to draw the attention, that all other distinctions seem lost in the contemplation of this. “I can hardly look to a home in this world except to one that may be easily left, nor to engagements but to such as may be easily transferred. My time in any way must be short, and so much have I felt it my path to be here as a stranger and pilgrim, that a mere dwelling in tents suits me far better than anything that looks like taking up a reSt. “Our friends inform us of a willingness to promote village schools here; but O, that they would send one or two agents to superintend them, otherwise I see no hope of their being formed or supported in a way that would be to their satisfaction. The two in Portuguese and Kongo town are under the eye of the Wesleyan missionaries in a way that no others could be, I think, without agency more than I know of at present. There must be a sacrifice of something more than money, to do effectual good among people circumstanced as these are. O, that my school could have a successor among my beloved friends! Can I yet hope for this It may not be now, but I think on some future day Friends will surely visit this suffering people. If we felt truly the awful importance of the work of seeking to bring souls unto Jesus, of how little moment in comparison would be any present ease or comfort of our own seeking Should we not rather be ashamed to put anything in competition with it 2 Well, may I be enabled to do my own part, and wait in it quietly until the way homeward shall be fully opened, and then leave in hope that God will provide. “O, my God, hast not Thou, by the sacred influences of Thine own power, breathed into the souls of many from season to season the desire to see the people taught the sacred Truths of the everlasting Gospel in all the languages of men, and wilt Thou not in the orderings of Thine own allwise Providence, lead to its accomplishment by whatever means shall seem good in Thy sight 2 “12th. I feel that my own individual standing in the presence of the Most High, is what most concerns me to be careful about; yet the hope of coming to some decided view ere long, as to the prospects of this school, is accompanied with a comfort of which I am not worthy, and a belief that God will eventually order what shall be for . the best. Something like a Sabbath-day feeling has accompanied my mind each morning on awaking since the intelligence was received of our dear — being expected so soon. “I have to-day finished the Kosso translation of the ‘Picture-Lessons, except revision, and am anxious also to finish the Aku either to-day or tomorrow. I have endeavoured to translate into as easy language as possible, and in such a manner as shall easily be revised. “18th. On receiving the first tidings that our dear friends were expected hourly, a sensation of weight from my very responsible situation arose above the joyous anticipation I had before indulged in the prospect of meeting them. I feel much may depend upon what I now shall hear from home as to future measures, and indeed as to all my engagements in Africa. I do desire heavenly direction, yet fear I am not seeking it with that earnest application of heart which the cause demands. A great change will probably very soon take place,
both as to my position and prospects. O, that I may not be seeking ease for myself, or any premature divestment of any part of my present charge. O, my God, if Thou see it good, if Thou hast Thyself imparted these desires for the spread of Thy love, hastem so far as it shall please Thee, hasten the days of their accomplishment. Let babes be taught to love and honour Thee, and let many nations and kindreds, tongues and people, who now sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, see Thy truth and feel its power. O, that we may be enabled in this concern to act on the Christian principle of seeing those around us provided with the means of living by the labour of their hands. “Seven o'clock in the evening. Little did I apprehend when writing in the morning, what were to be the events of this day. It is now decided between the Government and the Church Missionary Society, that the latter shall relinquish the care of the liberated African children. “ 19th. This morning I received a note from one of the masters, saying, that he was about to dispose of the school-girls at Bathurst, and if I wished to take any of them, I might have what number I pleased. I wrote in reply that it was too important a subject to decide upon in a moment, but that I would come within a quarter of an hour. On my arrival at Bathurst, all seemed on the verge of departure, although I had come within the appointed time, so far as I could judge. I was informed sixty were going to York, forty to Waterloo, and the remainder to Free Town; some to be married, and others to be bound as apprentices. I replied, “Then all are already disposed of."