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ney, as nothing compared with that love which
burned on the altar of my heart' “ A. K.”
“Jan. 4, 1798.
“May God bless you ! I feel thankful more than I can express that you are so much interested for the welfare of the Sunday-school. The strongest bond of union we can have is a mutual desire, not merely for each other's, but the general good; in pursuing this our happy spirits shall be blended together, and we shall every day have to bless God for each other's existence. I trust the Lord will lead me and teach me how I may be useful to the dear children I feel very insufficient for the work I have engaged in. My dear friend, I bless God that you are sensible our greatest joy is not in following our own selfish will, but in loving God, and loving our neighbour;-here our hearts expand, here we know why we were sent into the world,—it was to glorify God, through His grace to seek the happiness of others, to rejoice as well as to suffer below, and to be with God, and with all the precious of the earth beyond the skies for ever !
“Jan. 18, 1798.
“After meeting I read the chapters on which we had agreed, and found my soul comforted. I rejoiced in the thought of your meeting me at the throne of grace. I have many mercies, and my heavenly Father seems determined to melt me into His will by kindnesses. I would spend and be spent in the cause of so glorious a Benefac
tor. You would be pleased to be among the people of this neighbourhood, (Nottinghamshire,) if your services might prove instrumental to their good. “ 19th. Yesterday I came on foot eight miles through a very dirty road to Dunnington ; the weather was tolerably fine, but my feet were wet and cold, and this occasioned my headache to return. I was kindly received by our friends there. At night we worshipped in the Baptist chapel: the congregation was large, and I felt a good deal of liberty in speaking, and the word appeared to be applied with Divine impressions. The people were very earnest and attentive. I spoke two hours, and was very weary. After sitting awhile with the Baptist minister, I returned to my hospitable friends. Although faint and exhausted my soul rejoiced in God, and my spirit gloried in the Redeemer. It felt the ambition of my life to spend and be spent for the Lord Jesus. I found great thankfulness in the thought that I had sown my seed in the morning, and in the evening had not withheld my hand. I had a restless night, and awoke early with the headache; but even this led me to resign myself to God. I offered myself to suffer as well as to do His will. I arose soon after six, and found my mind eager to engage in business; and notwithstanding the unwillingness of the flesh, dragged myself to writing. “At two I set out to this place, (Whitich.) I found something in my heart which would have complained on account of being so far separated from you; but I checked the thought, and found my soul devoted to the will of God, and resolved to follow Him fully in the regeneration. The Lord sanctify our affection, that we may glorify Him with all the powers of our spirits, and go on our way rejoicing in Him continually.
C HAPTER III.
Her Marriage with Alexander Kilham.—Eatracts from their Correspondence—Death of her Husband—Birth of a Daughter.
My beloved parents were married in April, 1798. In the few months of their union they were much separated, my dear father travelling in the work of the ministry to various parts of England and Wales.
A few extracts, not only from their correspondence, but also from the printed Memoir of my father, will, it is hoped, be acceptable to the reader, and will serve to connect the account of so beloved a parent, till she again resumes the detail of her experience.
“June 19, 1798.
“God forbid that we should ever for a moment say we will stand or fall together in religion; yet I cannot but think that whenever the Lord particularly blesses thee, it brings me nearer to Him by a spirit of humble thankfulness than any other circumstance ever does. My soul melts under a sense of His goodness, deeply feels that His ways towards us are “mercy all." Oh, that we may be more and more united in Him than we have ever been 1 Our affection for each other will not be damped; no, it will be heightened and refined by the Spirit of truth having fuller influence on our hearts. May God make thee altogether such an
one as He can delight in. If trials still await thee, may Jesus be, as he has hitherto been, like the shadow of a great rock in a weary land to thy soul | Thy way has been in many instances strewed with thorns; but my soul is raised in thankfulness to that good Being who preserves thy spirit, and who has borne thee through all thy trials! We know not what a day may bring forth, nor need we anxiously concern ourselves about it. Outward circumstances do not constitute our peace, nor can outward things destroy it. If our anchor be fixed within the vail, what storms can shake us? The enemies of Jesus sought to destroy Him, and they imagined their intent was just accomplished ; but how deceitful were their expectations! at the moment their wishes seemed complete, He whom they had thought their enemy was at that instant finishing His work!—the great and glorious work for which He came into the world. And so it shall be with the followers of Jesus; —if their enemies would sow for them briars and thorns, the Lord will cause fruitful trees to spring up in their stead. “They shall go out with joy, they shall be lead forth with peace,’ and the face of nature, as well as the kingdom of grace, shall rejoice with them. The word of truth assures us this will be the case. “H. Kilham.”
“July 5, 1798. “I am obliged to own that melancholy and lowness beset my spirits. 1 cannot tell the cause, except it is that I see a thousand imperfections in myself. My judgment is clouded, my mind irresolute, and my affections are far too little attracted