AN INVITATION, BY DR. DELANY, IN THE NAME OF DR. SWIFT *. MIGHTY Thomas †, a solemn senatus I call, *See Mrs. Pilkington's Memoirs, vol. III. page 65. N. + From their diminutive size, the Dean used to call Mr. Pilkington "Tom Thumb," and his wife "his lady fair." N. To correct Mrs. Barber's poems; which were published at London, in 4to, by subscription; with the addition of several poems by her son Constantine, afterward a very learned physician, and president of the college of physicians in Dublin.-The Den, in his will, bequeathed to Mrs. Barber "the medal of queen Anne and prince George, which she formerly gave me.". N. The name by which Mrs. Barber was distinguished by her friends. N. || Mrs. Pilkington. N. Mrs. Constantia Grierson, a native of Kilkenny, who died in 1733, at the age of 27. She was well versed in Greek and Roman literature, history, divinity, philosophy, and mathematicks. She gave a proof of her knowledge of the Latin tongue, by her dedication of the Dublin edition of Tacitus to the lord Carteret, and by that of Terence to his son, to whom she likewise wrote a Greek epigram. Lord Carteret obtained a patent for Mr. George Grierson, her husband, to be king's printer in Ireland; and, to distinguish and reward her extraordinary merit, had her life inserted in it. See the preface to Mr. Barber's poems, N. And for your cruel part*, who take pleasure in blood, I have that of the grape, which is ten ties as good: Flow wit to her honour, flow wine to her health; High rais'd be her worth, above titles or wealth. THE BEASTS' CONFESSION TO THE PRIEST, ON OBSERVING HOW MOST MEN MISTAKE THEIR OWN TALENTS. PREFACE. 1732. I HAVE been long of opinion, that there is not more general and greater mistake, or of worse consequences through the commerce of mankind, than the wrong judgments they are apt to entertain of their own talents. I knew a stuttering alderman in London, a great frequenter of coffeehouses; who, when a fresh newspaper was brought in, constantly seized it first, and read it aloud to his brother citizens; but in a manner as little intelligible to the standers-by as to himself. How many pretenders to learning expose themselves by choosing to discourse on those very parts of science wherewith they are least acquainted! It is the same case in every other qualification. By the multitude of those who deal in rhymes, from half a sheet to twenty, which come out every minute, there must be at least five hundred poets in the city and suburbs of London; half as many coffeehouse orators, exclusive of the clergy; forty thousand politicians, and four thousand five Mrs. Van Lewen (Mrs. Pilkington's mother), who used to argue with Dr. Swift, about his declamation against eating Blood. N. * hundred profound scholars; not to mention the wits, the railers, the smart fellows, and criticks; all as illiterate and impudent as a suburb whore. What are we to think of the fine-dressed sparks, proud of their own personal deformities, which appear the more hideous by the contrast of wearing scarlet and gold, with what they call toupets on their heads, and all the frippery of a modern beau, to make a figure before women; some of them with humpbacks, others hardly five feet high, and every feature of their faces distorted; I have seen many of these insipid pretenders entering into conversation with persons of learning, constantly making the grossest blunders in every sentence, without conveying one single idea fit for a rational creature to spend a thought on; perpetually confounding all chronology, and geography even of present times, compute, that London hath eleven native fools of the beau and puppy kind, for one among us in Dublin; beside two thirds of ours transplanted thither, who are now naturalized; whereby that overgrown capital exceeds ours in the articles of dunces by forty to one; and what is more to our farther mortification, there is not one distinguished fool of Irish birth or education, who makes any noise in that famous metropolis, unless the London prints be very partial or defective; whereas London is seldom without a dozen of their own educating, who engross the vogue for half a winter together, and are never heard of more, but give place to a new set. This has been the constant progress for at least thirty years past, only allowing for the change of breed and fashion. The poem is grounded upon the universal folly in mankind of mistaking their talents; by which the * Wigs with long black tails, at that time very much in fashion: It was very common also to call the wearers of them by the same name. F. author does a great honour to his own species, almost equalling them with certain brutes; wherein, indeed, he is too partial, as he freely confesses: and yet he has gone as low as he well could, by specifying four animals; the wolf, the ass, the swine, and the ape; all equally mischievous, except the last, who outdoes them in the article of cunning: so great is the pride of man! 1 WHEN beasts could speak (the learned say It seems, they had religion then, As much as now we find in men. By proclamation gave command, The Ass, approaching next, confess'd, And, if it be a sin and shame, The Swine with contrite heart allow'd, The mimic Ape began his chatter, Engag'd him in a hundred quarrels : The Goat advanc'd with decent pace; |