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Fal. [To Robin] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
Trudge, plod away o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of the
French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page. 90
[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam
And high and low beguiles the rich and poor :
Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!
Nym. I have operations which be humours of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge ?
Nym. By welkin and her star!
Pist. With wit or steel?
JOO Nym. With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page
to deal with poison; I will possess him with
yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous :
that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents : I second
thee; troop on.
A room in Doctor Caius's house.
Enter Mistress Quickly, Simple, and Rugby.
Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the
casement, and see if you can see my master,
Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith,
and find anybody in the house, here will be an
old abusing of God's patience and the king's
Rug. I'll go watch.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at
night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal
fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing, kind
fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no
breed-bate : his worst fault is, that he is given
to prayer; he is something peevish that way:
but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass.
Peter Simple, you say your name is ?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. And Master Slender's your master ?
Sim. Ay, forsooth.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face,
with a little yellow beard, - a Cain-coloured
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not ?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his
hands as any is between this and his head; he
hath fought with a warrener.
Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember him :
does he not hold up his head, as it were,
strut in his gait ?
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse
fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do
what I can for your master : Anne is a good
girl, and I wish
Rug. Out, alas ! here comes my master.
Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good
young man; go into this closet : he will not
stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] What, 40
John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Go,
John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be
not well, that he comes not home.
[Singing] And down, down, adown-a, &c.
Enter Doctor Caius.
Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys.
Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un
boitier vert,-a box, a green-a box : do intend
vat I speak ? a green-a box.
Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside]
I am glad he went not in himself: if he had 50 found the young man, he would have been horn
mad. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
m'en vais à la cour, la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir ? Caius. Oui; mette le au mon pocket: dépêche,
quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
Rug. Here, Sir!
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack 60
Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come
after my heel to the court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long.
Qu’ai-j'oublié! dere is some simples in my closet,
dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be
mad! Caius. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet ?
Villain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, 70
my rapier !
Quick. Good master, be content.
Caius. Wherefore shall I be content-a?
Quick. The young man is an honest man.
Caius. What shall de honest man do in my closet ?
dere is no honest man dat shall come in my
Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear
the truth of it: he came of an errand to me
from Parson Hugh.
Sim. Ay, forsooth; to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.
Caius. Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your
tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid,
to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page
for my master in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my
finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me 90
some paper. Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. Quick. [Aside to Simple] I am glad he is so quiet : if he
had been thoroughly moved, you should have
heard him so loud and so melancholy. But not-
withstanding, man, I'll do you your master what
good I can : and the very yea and the no is, the
French doctor, my master, I may call him my
master, look you, for I keep his house; and I
wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
drink, make the beds, and do all myself,
Sim. [Aside to Quickly] 'Tis a great charge to come
under one body's hand.
Quick. [ Aside to Simple] Are you avised oʻthat ?
you shall find it a great charge : and to be up
early and down late ;—but notwithstanding, -
your ear ; I would have no words
of it,-my master himself is in love with Mistress
Anne Page : but notwithstanding that, I know
Anne's mind,--that's neither here nor there.
Caius. You jack’nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; 110
by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in
de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape
priest to meddle or make. You may be gone;
it is not good you tarry here.--By gar, I will
cut all his two stones ; by gar, he shall not have
a stone to throw at his dog.
[Exit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a ver dat :-do not you tell-a
me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself ?-
By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have 120
appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure