Dro. S. Marry, Sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Ant. S. What is she? Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sirreverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept: For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dr. S. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Dro. E. Nell, Sir: but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is sperical, like a globe; I could find out countrics in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ire land? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in the palm of the hand. Dro. S. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair. Ant. S. Where England? Dro. S. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them: but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath. Ant. S. Where America, the Indies? Dro. S. O, Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellish'd with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who scnt whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. S. O, Sir, I did not look so low. Το conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio; swore, I was assur'd to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark on my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transform'd me to a curtail-dog, and made Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road; And if the wind blow any way from shore, life, So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit. Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here; And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence; Enter ANGELO. Ang. Master Antipholus? Ant. S. Ay, that's my name. Ang. I know it well, Sir: Lo, here is the chain; I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine: Ang. What please yourself, Sir; I have made it for you. Ant. S. Made it for me, Sir! I bespoke it not. Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, And then receive my money for the chain. Ant. S. I pray you, Sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain, nor money, more. Ang. You are a merry man, Sir; fare you well. [Exit. Ant. S. What I should think of his, I cannot tell: But this I think, there's no man is so vain, [Exit. ACT IV. SCENE I. The same. Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much impórtun'd you; Nor now I had not, but that I am bound Therefore make present satisfaction, Or I'll attach you by this officer. Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, Is growing to me by Antipholus: And, in the instant that I met with you, Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIO, of Ephesus. Off. That labour may you save; shee where he comes. Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou Ant buy a rope's end; that will I bestow I promised your presence, and the chain; note, How much your chain weighs to the utmost carrat; The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion; Which doth amount to three odd ducats more |