ana, kuttet by shu kantone of me; perfon, who was in great distress, Why am not I alfo anguishing on a bed of fickness ? Who maketh us to differ? What gratitude do I owe to my Maker for the prefent encouraging prof pect that I may yet live, and have opportunity to be useful to the world. But of gratitude I feem to be deftitute-cold and infenfible--impenetrable as a rock! Tis the power of God only that can fubdue this stubborn, proud heart.” September.-Having been abfent for feveral weeks, on a journey; on her return the writes thus to a friend :-" My dear M-- I have hardly found time to write the name, or reflect on the month of Auguft, ere it is paft never to return, and September comes to fill its place. I hardly realize that we have had a funmer, and that the fall has comUpon reflection I find menced. time has been mifhent. While ill, my friends contributed greatly to my comfort; but I am almon deftitute of gratitude, to them; and to re Maker who has give merere thing I ecio. I am isdeed sem unthankful. It har net been the conftart difire of fool to go heavenly peaceam fill de fitute of reazio.. C gmt laving knowledge; fu in the ga. of bitterness- 7 d. 23os, the former & exce me on this anniveríary day, to look back and inquire in what fituation I ftood a year ago. I then had comfortable health.Now health is very poor. I have advanced one year more in fin-have to render an account of one year more of wafted time. I my er to draw this foolish heart to partake of them. But they are fading and unfatisfying. Their joys are the joys of a day or an fhe had received, by the word of God and the death of friends the refolutions fhe had made, and fo greatly failed of accomplishing through the wickedness and treachery of her own heart, and the influence of others who were light and vain, together with her ingratitude to her Chriftian teach-have feen, and ftill fee, that the ers and friends who had labored delufive joys of this world, are with her, and whose kindness, as infufficient to fatisfy the defires she said, had been neglected and of an immortal foul. But the abused, almost overwhelmed her, world, and its fascinating allure. at times, with a sense of hardnessments, have found it in their pow and guilt and inclined her to think that there was no mercy for her, and that the fhould be made a monument of divine wrath by an aggravated deftruction.-hour." She found that fhe had before entertained fome hope, though fearful of indulging it. But now he concluded that the had never experienced any faving change, and thought it probable fhe never fhould. It did not appear to the writer, from her account, that she had any fenfible exercises of oppofition to God at that time. For aught that appears the words of Job might have truly expreffed her ftate and feelings, "I have beard of thee, by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye feeth thee; suherefore I abbor myself and repent in duft and afbes." In her diary at this time fhe wrote but little. The following is nearly the whole. Oct. 18, 1802.--The anniverfary of her birth. "One year more is paft and gone never to be recalled. Seventeen years have paffed over this guilty head;where I fhall be at the end of feventeen more, is not for creatures to determine. The command is, redeem the time because the days are oil. But instead of redeeming precious time, I have wafted it in idleness and folly. It becomes "January 1, 1803-So paffes on the time. We mortals move along in the current, and ere we are aware, time with us is no longer. Days, weeks, months and years, move along in faft fucceffion, and we make no account of them. Few indeed there are, who number their days aright, and make provifion for that folemn account which all muft render at the bar of God. Many, I fear much the greater part, muft ere long make the fad lamentation, The harvest is paft, the fummer is ended, and we are not faved. We fin away our day of grace, and die unfatisfied with this world, and awfully unprepared for another." "Jan. 2d, Lord's-day. From the bill of mortality which has been given us this day, it appears that there have been 24 deaths in this Society the year paft; in which number were four females between the age of 20 and 24. Shall I who am now 17, live to fee that time? Ah! methinks I fhall not enter my 20th year, but fhall be cut off in the bloom of life.-This is not for man to determine; but thou, O Lord knoweft; the ents, had they the comforts of re- | ligion-could they look up and fay, Not my will but thine be done!" How happily religion adapts its influence to every relation and condition in life! How it guards the heart alike from foolish pride and impious difcontent, at what bounty has beflowed, or avifdom denied! How it bumanizes, dignifies and exalts the foul!-How it enforces, extends and refines the maxims of worldly prudence! How it illuf trates, binds, and enlivens the presepts of morality! How it amplifies, expands, regulates and brightens the views of philofophy-referring every thing to God-deriving all from Him-carrying all back to Him again! O man, till thou haft founded thy domeftic economy in religion, thou hast not begun to keep houfe. Let thy poffeffions be ever Jo fair-ever fo extenfive, they want their principal charm, their higheft excellence, till the bleffing of heaven be afked and obtained. May.In declining health. To learn a cheerful acquiefcence July. Having vifited a fick perfon, who was in great diftrefs, the writes:"Why am not I alfo languifhing on a bed of ficknefs? Who maketh us to differ? What gratitude do I owe to my Maker for the prefent encouraging prof pect that I may yet live, and have opportunity to be useful to the world. But of gratitude I feem to be deftitute-cold and infenfi ble-impenetrable as a rock! Tis the power of God only that can fubdue this stubborn, proud heart." September.-Having been ab fent for several weeks, on a journey; on her return the writes thus to a friend :-" My dear M-I have hardly found time to write the name, or reflect on the month of Auguft, ere it is past never to return, and September comes to fill its place. I hardly realize that we have had a fummer, and that the fall has com. menced. Upon reflection I find time has been mifpent. While ill, my friends contributed greatly to my comfort; but I am almost deftitute of gratitude, to them; and to my Maker who has given me every thing I enjoy. I am in deed very unthankful. It has not been the conftant defire of my foul to gain heavenly peace--I am ftill deftitute of religion, or any faving knowledge; ftill, alas! in the gall of bitterness-The bar. veft is past, the fummer is ended, and I am not faved!" After this, for feveral months, or till about the beginning of Feb ruary 1803, her anxiety increased, and became very great. From the account fhe afterwards gave to the writer, it appeared that infinite Wisdom faw fit to give her a deeper fenfe of the plague of her heart, than fhe had before experienced. A review of the peculiar privileges fhe had enjoy ed-the invitations and warnings me on this anniverfary day, to look back and inquire in what fituation I ftood a year ago. I then had comfortable health.Now my health is very poor. I have advanced one year more in fin-have to render an account of one year more of wafted time. I fhe had received, by the word of God and the death of friends the refolutions she had made, and fo greatly failed of accomplishing through the wickedness and treachery of her own heart, and the influence of others who were light and vain, together with her ingratitude to her Chriftian teach-have feen, and fill fee, that the ers and friends who had labored delufive joys of this world, are with her, and whose kindness, as infufficient to fatisfy the defires fhe faid, had been neglected and of an immortal foul. But the abused, almost overwhelmed her, world, and its fafcinating allure. at times, with a sense of hardnessments, have found it in their pow and guilt; and inclined her to er to draw this foolish heart to think that there was no mercy partake of them. But they are for her, and that fhe fhould be fading and unfatisfying. Their made a monument of divine wrath joys are the joys of a day or an by an aggravated deftruction.-hour." She found that she had before entertained fome hope, though fear ful of indulging it. But now fhe concluded that she had never experienced any faving change, and thought it probable fhe never fhould. It did not appear to the writer, from her account, that fhe had any fenfible exercises of oppofition to God at that time. For aught that appears the words of Job might have truly expreffed her ftate and feelings, "I have heard of thee, by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye feeth thee wherefore I abhor myself and repent in duft and afbes." In her diary at this time fhe wrote but little. The following is nearly the whole. "January 1, 1803.-So paffes on the time. We mortals move along in the current, and ere we are aware, time with 285 is no longer. Days, weeks, months and years, move along in faft fucceffion, and we make no account of them. Few indeed there are, who num. ber their days aright, and make provifion for that folemn account which all muft render at the bar of God. Many, I fear much the greater part, muft ere long make the fad lamentation, The harvest is paft, the fummer is ended, and we are not faved. We fin away our day of grace, and die unfatisfied with this world, and awfully unprepared for another." "Jan. 2d, Lord's-day. From the bill of mortality which has been given us this day, it appears that there have been 24 deaths in this Society the year paft; in which number were four females between the age of 20 and 24. Shall I who am now 17, live to fee that time? Ah! methinks I fhall not enter my 20th year, but fhall be cut off in the bloom of life.-This is not for man to determine; but thou, O Lord knoweft; the number of my days are with thee, my bounds are fet, that I cannot pals." 66 Jan. 6th.-I entreat thee, O thou Maker of heaven and earth, to fend forth thy gracious Spirit, and make this finful heart, fenfible of thy favors. Infpire me with gratitude for received bleffings-thou, O Lord, canft reftore health to an unworthy object; make me the poffeffor of this invaluable bleffing; but above all wilt thou prepare me for whatever awaits me in life, whether health or fickness; and for death whenever it arrives, and an eternity to come. Look down in mercy on this family; recal our wandering fteps and caufe us to feek the Lord; give us hearts of gratitude, and a fpirit of prayer, for Chrift's fake." as to prepare her for the trials through which he was to pafs, fupport her under pain and diftrefs, and render her an example of patience and fubmiffion, and a witnefs of the reality and power of experimental religion. She had before, in the course of her ficknefs fuffered much, but from about this time her trials increafed; her diforder rapidly progreffed. About the time the obtained relief in the manner now mentioned, he began to be confined to the house, and foon after to her room, and her pain of body became very diftreffing; to all which the fubmitted without a murmur, and by a peculiar cheerfulaefs and ferenity, manifefted a fweet refignation of foul to the will of God. A principal mean by which the Spirit of God gave fupport and comfort to her mind, was the holy feriptures. In them the read with increasing delight and fatisfaction. There were fome particular paffages which fhe meditated upon with peculiar delight; among which were feveral verses in the 116th Pfalm; the latter part of the 2 Cor. iv. and the 12th chap. of Ifaiah. This clofes her diary. After this her pen was wholly laid afide, except in a few inftances to write a line to fome of her friends. But it appeared from her account afterwards, that he continued in much the fame ftate of mind, tili about the beginning of February, which was near four months before her death. At this time fhe experienced a memorable night. The views and exercifes of her mind the confidered as peculiar. She faw as fhe had not before feen, the glory and excellency of Chrift and her own abfolute need of just fuch an almighty Saviour; and in a view of him, and of his glorious fulness, she had thofe feel-heart to God for his goodness to ings and exercifes which the afterwards hoped were indeed flying to him for refuge. From this time, he was more and more delighted and comforted by a view of the divine character, and in the thought of being in the hands of God. It pleafed God fo to fhed abroad his toye into her heart, When this chapter was pointed out and expounded to her by a friend from a distance, who called to converfe and pray with her, it gave her great fatisfaction. It feemed to exprefs moft happily the feelings of her foul; the holy gratitude of her her, and for the excellent things' he hath done for Zion.. During moft of the time of her laft confinement, he had a comfor table hope, founded on a fenfe of the glory of God and a fatisfaction in contemplating his perfelons as appearing in the great work of redemption. She would |