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manded the light, to shine out of darkness, by his word and spirit, Shining into my mind, to give me the light of the knowlege of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. I could not defiderate any more latisfying e. vidence of his being. And while that light did thine, or when at any time it does thine, Satan then dares not oppose. All the mountains of opposition, the bulky arguments, that appeared like rocks and hills, look at the presence of the Lord, and were carried into the midst of the sea. And now the light being come, i Johnii. 8. and the Lord being seen in his own light, I had inanifold and satisfying evidences of this glorious truth.
1'. I had the evidence of sight, not by the eye of the body, but by that of faith ; I saw the glory of God as represented in the word, shining with the clearest luitre, that satisfied me it was truth, and no lie. 2 Cor. iii. 18. The glory was so great, that it not only let me fee, and convinced me of its reality, but really convinced me in some measure, that nothing else is real. This fight gave me more consistent, Godbecoming notions of him, his nature and attributes, 'than ever I attained before, which shook the foundation of many of my former scruples that proceeded only from my ignorance and darkness about the nature of God.
2. I had the evidence of the ear; for I heard him speak not to my bodily ears, but to my soul ; and his · voice did sufficiently distinguish itself from the voice of any creature. For, First, He spoke terror to me from Sinai, Heb. xii. 19. and then when my soul was as the troubled fea, he said, peace be ftill; and with authority commanded he the winds and the sea, and they obeyed, and presently there was a calm. Mark iv. 39. His word enlightned mine eyes, and converted my soul. It was a powerful voice that came from the Lord most high. Pfalm xxix. 4. ' The law of the "Lord is perfect, converting the foul. The testimo
3.19 the eyesundmentate righe vile che
'ny of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The ' statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart : "The commandment of the Lord is pure, cnlight• ning the eyes,” Psalm xix. 7,8.
3. I had likewise a feeling of his power. I not only heard his voice, but I felt his power casting me down, and raising me up again, Pfalm cii. 10. and saying to one that was weak, Be strong; Ila. XXXV. 4. Psalm lxviii. 28. yea, and commanding strength. Thus my faith food not in the wildom of man, but in the power of God, i Cor. ii. s. I have before told what of his power I felt, what effects were wrought, and so here I forbear any further account."
4. I was now macie to taste and see that the Lord is good, and that the foul that trusts in him is blessed. Plalm xxxvi 8. I sat down under his fhadow and the fruits above-mentioned were sweet to my taste. Cant. ii, 3.
5. I was made to feel the favour, and relish a fragrant sweetness in his word, works and ways. His Name was as cintment poured forth, and therefor I 1 loved him. Cant. i. 3.
6. Hereby ail my objections were solved. Heb. xi. 1. Faith is the evidence of things not seen ; it not only satisfies the soul about them by the clearest evidence, but it reproves contrary objections Psalm xviii. 12. At the brightness that was before him, the dark clouds pused away. My objections now were like those kings mentioned by the Pfalmist, who had come in a combination to ruin the church, but were frighted by God's appearing : Psalm xlviii 4, 5, 6 'Lo the kings were
assembled they passed together. They saw it, and ' so they marvelled, they were troubled, and hasted
away. Fear took hold upon them there, and pains
as of a woman in travail. Just so was it with my adversaries; faith (as the word rendred evidence, Heb. xi. 1. fignifies) reproved them, and at this rebuke they fied, For, 1, If they should now fay, Where is
thy God? I was ready to reply, Lo this God is cur. God, we have waited for him, and he will save us ; we have waited for him, and will be glad in his sulvation. Ifa.xxv. 9. 2. If they should now ohject the seeming inconsistency of his attributes, which was oft made use of to trouble me, I had an answer given, a word put in my mouth. At the same time God condescended to the 'v me his buck parts, he satisfied me, That no man could behold his Face, Exod, xxxiii. 23, He by the discovery gave me a view of liis incomprehensibility, sufficient to silence all these ; Job xi. 7. Can't thou by searching find out God? Cunst thou find out the Almighty unto perfection? Our short Jine cannot measure God. 3. When the seeming confusion and disorders in his government were urged, I now had therewith to answer all these'; Job xxxiii. 13. He gives an account of none of his matters. Psalm lxxvii. 19. His way is in the sea, and his paths in the great waters: His footsteps are not known. Yet though Clouds and darkness are round about him, rightecusness and judgment are the habitation of his throne. Plalm. xcvii. 2. 4. The Lord really cleared many particular objections as to all these heads, and by this discovery of himself in the jančłuary, Palm lxxiii. 17, he satis. fied ine in a way rational, yet above reason, letting me Ice rational answers in the light of his word and spirit. He laughs at the prosperity of the wicked, bécause he sees their day a coming. Psalm xxxvii. 13, Thus were minc enemies foil'd, and fo let all thine enemies perish, O Lord. Judges v. 31,
This light thus kindled, he daily increas'd and confirmed me every day more and more by new discoveries of himself from the word, And now I could look with satifaction upon the heavens and the earth, and see the print of his hand upon them.
CH A P, CHA P. VII.: Containing an account how I came to be satisfied that
the scriptures are the word of God, and how temptations in reference to them were repelled. :
1. To give a clear account of the issue of my
1 temptation, it will be necessary that I shortly recapitulate what formerly has been spoken concerning the trial, and my carriage under it;
2. This temptation did not attack me so early as the former, but it was managed much in the same way; sometimes my mind only hung in suspence, and hovered in uncertainty for want of evidence proportioned to the importance of the truth for my faith to fix on: At other times, I was strangely harassed with violent temptations, multiplied and subtile objections which were throng'd daily in on my mind, by reading books full of them, by converse with enemies to the word, by Satan's suggestions, which were by much the more fubtile and troublesome to me.
3. This exercise was in some measure more per. pléxing than the former, because it was no less ruin. ing to all satisfying religion ; the objections were much more plausible, they were far more in number, and entertain'd by persons of a better character, and the evidence of the truth lay farther from the reach of an unenlightned mind.
4. Before the issue came, the Lord gave, by consi. derations formerly mentioned, sometimes a merciful. check unto temptations, and kept them from overwhelming me quit; of which I have formerly given some account.
5. I tried many ways besides prayer and attendance upon ordinances ; I bought, borrowed and read many · books written in defence of them, which wanted not its own solid use; for hereby I got a deep rational con
viction of the truth, and so was emboldned to plead for them against enemies, and oft-times to beat them at their own weapons; and I got many particular objections fully answered, and was hereby encourag'd to wait for full fatisfaction, without despairing: especi. ally one book had this use; after I had without the satisfaction I desired, tho'not without the fruits abovemention'd, perused many latter writings, the Lord led me to look into the fulfiling of the scriptures, which had lyen by me neglected: And I found this more convincing than any I had read, because it brought me nearer the proper evidence whereon faith should fix, than any of the rest; it discovered more of the intrinsick worth of the word than the others, and pleaded strongly in point of reason.
6. Yet after all this, my mind remained unsatisfied, none of these arguings had authority to repel temptations, being but the wisdom of men; nor on the same account did they lay a foundation for divine faith, nor did they enlighten a darkned mind to see the evidence of God in the word; nor were they able to rectify an indisposed palate, and convey a taste and favour of the word of God to the soul, that was able to satisfy me that it was such bread as a man might live by. Matth. iv. 4.
7. Thus it continued with me until the Lord came, and let in the fore-mentioned discovery of his Glory into my soul, and hereby I was relieved and satisfied as to this doubt-allo: i Cor. xiv. 24, 25. The Lord had before, when I was under the convincing work of his fpirit, affected my conscience with some fence of his authority in the word, evidencing itself by that convincing and condemning light and power which I discerned and felt;'aud hereby the force of the foregoing tom pration was usually broke in some measure, when the Lord by the word did fasten on my soul á fense of my guilt, but this discovery of sin by the word bencing terrible to mes rather extoried an affent, than