СНАР. XI, THE DUTY OF CHILDREN. TH HE Duty of Children may be confidered, I. During childhood. II. After they have attained to manhood, but continue in their father's family. III. After they have attained to manhood, and have left their father's family. I. During childhood. Children must be supposed to have attained to fome degree of difcretion before they are capable of any duty. There is an interval of eight or nine years, between the dawning and the maturity of reason, in which it is necessary to fubject the inclination of children to many restraints, and direct their application to many employments, of the tendency and use of which they cannot judge; for which caufe, the fubmiffion of children during this period must be ready and įmplicit, with an exception, however, of any manifest Bb 2 manifest crime, which may be commanded him. II. After they have attained to manhood, but continue in their father's family. If children, when they are grown up, voluntarily continue members of their father's family, they are bound, befide the general duty of gratitude to their parents, to obferve such regulations of the family as the father shall appoint; contribute their labour to its fupport, if required; and confine themselves to fuch expences as he fhall allow. The obligation would be the fame, if they were admitted into any other family, or received fupport from any other hand. III. After they have attained to manhood, and have left their father's family. In this ftate of the relation, the duty to parents is fimply the duty of gratitude; not different in kind, from that which we owe to any other benefactor; in degree, just so much exceeding other obligations, by how much a parent has been a greater benefactor than any other friend. The fervices and attentions, by which filial gratitude may be teftified, can be comprised within no enumeration. It will fhew itself in compliances with the will of the parents, however contrary to the child's own taste or judg ment, ment, provided it be neither criminal, nor to tally inconfiftent with his happiness; in a conftant endeavour to promote their enjoyments, prevent their wishes, and foften their anxieties, in small matters as well as in great; in affifting them in their business; in contributing to their support, ease, or better accommodation, when their circumstances require it; in affording them. our company, in preference to more amusing engagements; in waiting upon their sickness or decrepitude; in bearing with the infirmities of their health or temper, with the peevishness and complaints, the unfashionable, negligent, auftere manners, and offenfive habits, which often attend upon advanced years; for where muft old age find indulgence, if it do not meet with it in the piety and partiality of children? The most serious contentions between parents and their children, are thofe commonly, which relate to marriage, or to the choice of a profeffion. A parent has, in no cafe, a right to destroy his child's happiness. If it be true therefore, that there exist such personal and exclufive attachments between individuals of different fexes, that the poffeffion of a particular man or woman in marriage be really neceffary to the child's happinefs; or if it be true, that an averfion to a particular profeffion may be involuntary and unconquerable; then it will follow, that parents, where this is the cafe, ought not to urge their authority, and that the child is not bound to obey it. The point is, to discover how far, in any particular inftance, this is the cafe. Whether the fondness of lovers ever continues with fuch intenfity, and fo long, that the success of their defires conftitutes, or the disappointment affects, any confiderable portion of their happiness, compared with that of their whole life, it is difficult to determine; but there can be no difficulty in pronouncing, that not one half of those attachments, which young people conceive with for much hafte and paffion, are of this fort. I believe it also to be true, that there are few averfions to a profeffion, which refolution, perfeverance, activity in going about the duty of it, and above all, defpair of changing, will not fubdue: yet there are some such. Wherefore, a child who refpects his parents' judgment, and is, as he ought to be, tender of their happiness, owes, at least, fo much deference to their will, as to try fairly and faithfully, in one cafe, whether time and abfence will not quench an affec tion which they difapprove; and in the other, whether a longer continuance in the profeffion which they have chosen for him may not reconcile him to it. The whole depends upon the experiment being made on the child's part with fincerity, and not merely with a defign of compaffing his purpose at last, by means of a fimulated and temporary compliance. It is the nature of love and hatred, and of all violent affections, to delude the mind with a perfuafion, that we shall always continue to feel them, as we feel them at prefent. We cannot conceive that they will either change or ceafe. Experience of fimilar or greater changes in ourselves, or a habit of giving credit to what our parents, or tutors, or books teach us, may control this perfuafion; otherwife it renders youth very untractable; for they see clearly and truly, that it is impoffible they should be happy under the circumftances proposed to them, in their present state of mind. After a fincere, but ineffectual endeavour, by the child, to accommodate his inclination to his parent's pleasure, he ought not to fuffer in his parent's affection, or in his fortunes. The parent, when he has reasonable proof of this, should acquiefce: at all events, the child is then at liberty to provide for his own happiness. Parents |