After a little conversation, The Devil told Peter, if he chose, He'd bring him to the world of fashion In his own service-and new clothes. And Peter bowed, quite pleased and proud, Turned up with black-the wretched fellow PART THIRD. HELL. HELL is a city much like London- Small justice shown, and still less pity. There is a Castles, and a Canning, A Cobbett, and a Castlereagh; All sorts of caitiff corpses planning, All sorts of cozening for trepanning Corpses less corrupt thar they. There is a who has lost His wits, or sold them, none knows which; He walks about a double ghost, And though as thin as Fraud almost, There is a Chancery Court; a King; An army; and a public debt, Which last is a scheme of paper money, There is great talk of revolution— Gin-suicide-and methodism ; Taxes too, on wine and bread, And meat and beer, and tea, and cheese; From which those patriots pure are fed, Who gorge before they reel to bed The tenfold essence of all these. There are mincing women, mewing, (Like cats, who amant miserè,*) Lawyers-judges-old hobnobbers Are there; bailiffs-chancellors- Things whose trade is, over ladies To lean, and flirt, and stare, and simper, Grows cruel, courteous, smooth, inhuman, Thrusting, toiling, wailing, moiling, * One of the attributes in Linnæus's description of the Cat. To a similar cause the caterwauling of more than one species of this genus is to be referred;-except, indeed, that the poor quadruped is compelled to quarrel with its own pleasures, whilst the biped is supposed only to quarrel with those of others. What would this husk and excuse for a virtue be without Its kernel prostitution, or the kernel prostitution without this ask of a virtue? I wonder the women of the town do not form an association, like the Society for the Suppression of Vice, for the support of what may be called the "King, Church, and Constitution" of their order s almost too horrible for a joke. But this subject Each with never-ceasing labour, Whilst he thinks he cheats his neighbour, And all these meet at levees; Lunches and snacks so aldermanic That one would furnish forth ten dinners, Where reigns a Cretan-tongued panic, Lest news Russ, Dutch, or Alemannic Should make some losers, and some winners; At conversazioni-balls Conventicles and drawing-rooms- And this is Hell-and in this smother Tis a lie to say, "God damns!"* *This libel on our national oath, and this accusation of all our countrymen of being in the daily practice of solemnly Where was Heaven's Attorney-General They are mines of poisonous mineral. Statesmen damn themselves to be Cursed; and lawyers damn their souls Churchmen damn themselves to see The rich are damned, beyond all cure, To taunt, and starve, and trample on The weak and wretched; and the poor Damn their broken hearts to endure Stripe on stripe, with groan on groan : Sometimes the poor are damned indeed To take,—not means for being blest,— And some few, like we know who, To make this ugly Hell a Heaven; In which faith they live and die. asseverating the most enormous falsehood, I fear deserves the notice of a more active Attorney-General than that here alluded to. |