Why bore them so rudely, each night of your life, As to weavers, no matter how poorly they feast, You might see, my dear Baron, how bored and distrest From the frugal Scotch wit of my Lord L-d- -le !1 Bright Peer! to whom Nature and Berwickshire gave And then, those unfortunate weavers of Perth Not to know the vast difference Providence dooms 'Twixt those who have heir-looms, and those who've but looms! To talk now of starving, as great At-1 said2 (And the nobles all cheered, and the bishops all wondered) When, some years ago, he and others had fed Of these same hungry devils about fifteen hundred ! It follows from hence-and the Duke's very words Should be published wherever poor rogues of this craft are- When Rome was uproarious, her knowing patricians 'No Bread and the Tread-mill's' the regimen now. So cease, my dear Baron of Ockham, your prose, 1 This noble Earl said, that when he heard the petition came from ladies' boot and shoe makers, he thought it must be against "the corns which they inflicted on the fair sex."' 2 The Duke of Athol said, that 'at a former period, when these weavers were in great dis tress, the landed interest of Perth had supported 1500 of them. It was a poor return for these very men now to petition against the persons who had fed them.' 3 An improvement, we flatter ourselves, on Lord L.'s joke, MORAL POSITIONS. A DREAM. 'His Lordship said that it took a long time for a moral position to find its way across the Atlantic. He was sorry that its voyage had been so long,' etc.-Speech of Lord Dudley and Ward on Colonial Slavery, March 8. T'OTHER night, after hearing Lord Dudley's oration (A treat that comes once in the year, as May-day does), The whole Bench of Bishops stood by, in grave attitudes, As their Reverences know, that in southerly latitudes There was B-th—st arranging the custom-house pass ; Though-as to which side should lie uppermost-doubting. The freight was, however, stowed safe in the hold; Long, dolefully long, seemed the voyage we made ;— And few come aboard her, though so many hail her. At length, safe arrived, I went through 'tare and tret’— The Captain '- -here, startled to find myself named MEMORABILIA OF LAST WEEK. MONDAY, MARCH 13. THE Budget-quite charming and witty-no hearing, What, still more prosperity!-mercy upon us, This boy'll be the death of me'-oft as, already, TUESDAY. Much grave apprehension expressed by the Peers, A Petition presented (well timed, after this) Throwing out a sly hint to Grandees, who are hurled If they'd just throw a little more light on the world.2 A plan for transporting half Ireland to Canada,3 Keeping always (said Mr. Sub. Horton) in mind, Sub. Horton then read a long letter, just come Have already grown 'prosp'rous'-as we are, at home- WEDNESDAY. Little doing for sacred, oh Wednesday, thou art It appeared, though, to-night, that-as churchwardens yearly The Bankrupt-Commissioners, bolt very nearly A moderate-sized bankrupt, tout chaud, for their dinners !6 1 'Another objection to a metallic currency was, that it produced a greater number of highrobberies.'-Debate in the Lords. way 2 Mr. Estcourt presented a petition, praying that all persons should be compelled to have lamps in their carriages. 3 Mr. W. Horton's motion on the subject of Emigration. 4The money expended in transporting the Irish to Canada would be judiciously laid out, provided measures were taken to prevent the gap they left in the population from being filled up again. Government had always made that a condition.'-Mr. W. Horton's Speech. 5 The hon. gentleman then read a letter, which mentioned the prosperous condition of the writer; that he had on hand a considerable surplus of corn,' etc. 6 Mr. Abercromby's statement of the enormous tavern bills of the Commissioners of Bankrupts. Nota Bene.-A rumour to-day, in the city, : And as sweet as a prosperous cock could crow; 'I,' said the Bank, though he played me a prank, Like a plump rouleau-without the gold in't.' That you would e'en have taken tea (Had you been asked) with Mr. Goundry !2 Come, wise Sir Thomas, wisest then Come, matchless country gentlemen; When creeds and corn-laws are Come, rival even the Harlot Red, A 'Squire is transubstantiated. Come, L-e, and tell the world, That-surely as thy scratch is curled, As never scratch was curled before Cheap eating does more harm than good, And working-people spoiled by food, The less they eat, will work the more. Come, G--lb-rn, with thy glib defence (Which thou'dst have made for Peter's Pence) Of Church-Rates, worthy of a halter; Whose dreams of premium knew no Two pipes of port (old port 'twas said bound'ry; So fond of aught like Company, 1 An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain endeavoured to get rid of. Trumpeters, like the men of All-Souls, must be bene vestiti.' 2 The gentleman lately before the public, who kept his Joint-stock Tea Company all to himself, singing Te solum adoro.' By honest Newport) bought and paid By Papists for the Orange Altar !3 3 This charge of two pipes of port for the sa cramental wine is a precious specimen of the sort of rates levied upon their Catholic fellowparishioners by the Irish Protestants. The thirst that from the soul doth rise Come, H-rt-n, with thy plan so merry, Come all, in short, ye wondrous men Oh, come and show, whate'er men say, That you can, after April-day, Be just as-sapient as before it. ALL IN THE FAMILY WAY. A NEW PASTORAL BALLAD. (Sung in the character of Britannia). 'The Public Debt was due from ourselves to ourselves, and resolved itself into a Family Account.'-Sir Robert Peel's Letter. TUNE-My banks are all furnished with bees. My banks are all furnished with rags, So thick-even Fred cannot thin 'em! I've torn up my old money bags, Having nothing worth while to put in 'em. My tradesmen are smashing by dozens, My Debt not a penny takes from me, Since all have thus taken to owing, There's nobody left that can pay ; And this is the way to keep going, All quite in the family way. My senators vote away millions, it. 'Tis all but a family hop, 'Twas Pitt began dancing the hay; Hands round!-why the deuce should we stop? "Tis all in the family way. My labourers used to eat mutton, As any great man of the state does ; And now the poor devils are put on Small rations of tea and potatoes. But cheer up, John, Sawney, and Paddy, The King is your father, they say: So, even if you starve for your daddy, 'Tis all in the family way. My rich manufacturers tumble, My poor ones have little to chew; And even if themselves do not grumble, Their stomachs undoubtedly do. But coolly to fast en famille Is as good for the soul as to pray; And famine itself is genteel, When one starves in a family way. I have found out a secret for Freddy, THE CANONIZATION OF ST. B-TT-RW--RTH. 'A Christian of the best edition.'-Rabelais. CANONIZE him!-yea, verily, we'll canonize him; Though Cant is his hobby, and meddling his bliss, Though sages may pity and wits may despise him, He'll ne'er make a bit the worse Saint for all this. Descend, all ye spirits that ever yet spread The dominion of Humbug o'er land and o'er sea, |