Sir And. I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him hanged ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls. [Aside.] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. Re-enter Fabian and Viola. [To Fab.] I have his horse to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited, of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir: he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. Viola. [A side.] Pray heaven defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man, Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Conie, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray heaven he keep his oath! Enter Antonio. [Draws. Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. [Draws. Ant. Put up your sword;-if this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me; If you offend him, I for him defy you. [Drawing. Sir To. You, sir? why, what are you? Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. [Draws, Enter two Officers. Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Vio. [To Sir Andrew.] Pray, sir, put up your sword if you please. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir;—and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word; He will bear you easily, and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man, do thy office. 2 Of. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of Count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.-Take him away; he knows I know him well. 1 Laws of duel. Ant. [To Vio.] I must obey.-This comes with seeking you; But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. What will you do? Now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves me Much more, for what I cannot do for you, 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Ant. Will you deny me now? Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, As to upbraid you with those kindnesses Vio. Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Ant. O heavens themselves! 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here, I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, And to his image, which, methought, did promise Most venerable worth, did I devotion. 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.-- Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil. 1 Of. The man's grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with Antonio. Vio. Methinks his words do from such passions fly, That he believes himself; so do not I. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, In favour was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it, Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Fab. Come, let's see the event. [Exit. Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing yet. [Exeunt. Act Fourth. SCENE I.-THE STREET BEFORE OLIVIA'S HOUSE. Enter Sebastian and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-Nothing, that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:-These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking Sebastian. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Sebastian. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier; put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st thou know? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. [Draws. Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. Enter Olivia. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee hold. Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, : Rudesby,1 be gone!-I pr'ythee, gentle friend, [Draws. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and unjust extent2 Against thy peace. Go with me to my house; He started one poor heart of mine in thee. Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream : Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep! Oli. Nay, come, I pr'ythee: 'Would thou'dst be rul'd by me! Seb. Madam, I will. Oli. O, say so, and so be! SCENE II.-A ROOM IN OLIVIA'S HOUSE. Enter Maria and Clown. [Exeunt. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe thou art Sir Topas, the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir Toby the whilst. [Exit Maria. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; I am not tall enough to become the function well: nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors3 enter. Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is; so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, Sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison ! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; à good knave. 1 Rude fellow. 2 Degree. 3 Confederates. Mal. [In an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate; who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatick. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was a man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, Sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.1 Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas ! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.2 Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Clo. Tell me how thy lady does. Mal. Fool. [Singing. Clo. Alas, why is she so? Mal. Fool, I say ; Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, Regular conversation. 2 Any other gem as well as a topaz. |