Did he foresee thy nature would be milder, thy parts brighter, thy acceptance of him readier, or thy service for him more and better? O no! it was free grace alone that made the difference. Thou wast cut out of the same cloth for similarity, hewn out of the same rock for hardness, flowedst out of the same fountain for pollution, and wouldst have been worse than he had not free grace stepped in. Hath it not also had some influence on thy practice? Hast thou not carried thyself more circumspectly for fear of setting the least bad example, not knowing how speedily it would be improved to further profaneness? Hath it not made thee, O my soul, more weary of this world and more willing to be with God? O trying time now, but joyful time (or rather eternity) then. The owner of my chamber here may be a Nabal, or son of Belial; but the builder and master of that city is God, who hath provided (free cost) mansions to praise him in for ever."

When Mr. Nath. Heywood had left Cambridge, and had come to supply at Illingworth Chapel, the two brothers engaged a small house and united in their housekeeping expences. They had not lived many months together in this habitation, before Mr. O. H. was taken so ill one sabbath in the pulpit, that he was obliged to break off the service abruptly and return home. He was attacked by a severe fever which confined him to the house about three weeks: indeed he was sick nigh unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but on the church also, for he had but just entered into that sphere of usefulness for which he afterwards became so eminent. The state of his mind under affliction cannot be better described than in his own language; "How is it with thee now, O my soul, when the casket that keeps this precious jewel is so cracked? What sayest thou, trembling in

habitant, when thy house begins to fail, and the foundations of this tabernacle of clay are felt to totter? art thou troubled? thy head was sick through a blind and perverse understanding, and thy heart faint through weakness in grace and strength of sinning; now thy head doth ache with pain, and thy heart is sick with a grievous distemper. God will retaliate with a judgment suitable to the offence. Acknowledge the justice of awarding suffering according to thy sin, and admire God's goodness that it is not more severe; praise him for his gentleness and pity; inprove this blessed opportunity to get thy heart nearer heaven and further from the world; long for thy house from above, and wait for it till it come, and watch over thy heart. The alarm is sounded, the signal is given, therefore lay down thy weapons, surrender thyself as the Lord's prisoner, he will not harm, but deliver thee. Is not a happy deliverance better than a cruel slavery? Fear not God's call, it is but to bring thee to himself, and canst thou be in an evil place when in God's presence, who is the perfection of happiness? But stay, he comes not yet, thy time is not yet expired, thy sun is not yet set; knowest thou that? Granted; but will it therefore follow that, he will not come at all? Will it be any disadvantage to thee to be ready long before death come? surely not, but the contrary. What comfort will redound to thee thereby, and what glory to God! Thou wilt not stand in constant fear, nor be affrighted then by the symptoms of death's near approach, but triumph in the thought thereof, although the manner may be unpleasant to the flesh. If thou couldst but look above or beyond death and the grave, and fix thy thoughts upon thy rich inheritance in reversion, thy life would be an Eden, and thy death a Goshen." The peculiar support he enjoyed in this

sickness, derived from his lively faith in gospel promises, made him even to long for the time of his dissolution, when his hopes would be exchanged for possession. "My soul desired death," he says, "rather than life, or rather a better life by means of natural death. O what would I have given that I might have sinned no more, but departed into that blessed and blissful communion with God of which my soul had a little transient foretaste. I was loth to be turned into the world again; yet I was freely willing to submit to the disposing will of my gracious God; and it seems he had yet some further work for me to do."

The impressions made on his mind by this visitation were not transient. He had called upon God in the day of trouble, and having obtained deliverance, he resolved to glorify the God of his mercies. In his affliction he had used the language of prayer, and having received answers of peace, he then employed the language of praise. After his recovery he wrote the following record of God's kindness, and his own gratitude: "It was my God that in love brought me both into and out of the pit of affliction, and cast all my sins behind his back. It was he that considered the low estate of his servant, delivered me from the gates of the grave, and rescued me from the king of terrors. It is he that hath preserved me, and hath again brought me to walk before the Lord in the land of the living, while he hath sent others to their long home who were as strong as I. It was he that gave me favour in the sight of so many, and sent so many Christians and others to visit me, not empty-handed, nor empty-hearted. It was he that put it into the minds of his people to commend my state to God at the lowest ebb, when I could do so little. It was he that answered me in the day when I cried, and strengthened me in my soul. It was he that

me.

made my bed in my sickness, mitigated my pains, and gave me all the helps of creature-comforts that my heart could desire. It was he that restored my health when I said, 'I shall see man no more,' I shall never stand up in my pulpit again to speak to my affectionate people. But God hath brought me once more into the great congregation, where I may shew forth his lovingkindness, and tell what great things he hath done for 'The living, the living shall praise thee as I do this day.' 'Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits; who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving-kindness and tender mercies.' All the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth; in faithfulness did he afflict me, and in loving-kindness did he deliver me: heaven and earth are full of his praise. O my soul, bless thou the Lord! But what impressions of devotion hath this affliction left upon thee? What profit hast thou obtained thereby? What fruit of holiness proceedeth from this tree of sorrow? What duties doth it make thee observe? What lust doth it make thee mortify? Was not the time of affliction filled with divine consolations and joys, and hast thou not more liberty now, and better opportunity for God's work? Must God be minded at no other time but when his rod is over thee and his hand upon thee? Wilt thou seek him early and earnestly in thine affliction and not in prosperity? For shame, my soul, be not so dull; away with thy mourning righteousness: perform thy resolutions and pay thy vows. Acknowledge God's care, and thy fears, as Hezekiah did in his well composed song after his recovery, or with Jonah after he had escaped from the belly of hell. Lay up experience

against the time to come of God's interposition in answering requests, fulfilling promises, accomplishing his designs, discovering his presence, and keeping theé from sinning notoriously or sinning cowardly under this affliction. Tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed.' It is a miserable thing to lose the benefit of affliction. Improve it as one of the talents for which thou must give a strict account; lay it out to thy Lord and Master's best advantage. Learn to trust more confidently in God, to delight in him more, to walk more closely with him, to watch more over thy heart, to run more cheerfully in his ways, to do his will more angelically, to carry thyself more circumspectly, to exercise grace more vigorously, to resist against temptations more manfully, and to conquer spiritual enemies more triumphantly.”

Mr. Heywood was now about twenty-six years of age, and had remained in a single state: but he did not think it good that man should be alone, and therefore had been some time in search of an agreeable companion for life. In so important an undertaking, he was resolved to act with prudence, and, as far as he could judge, according to the will of God. "After I had continued here a considerable time," he says, "I looked out for a suitable helpmeet. I was directed to divers, and then stopped in my progress. Many times I had good hopes that I was near a conjugal relation, but was disappointed by some strange means or other. This was no small trouble to me, but was the means of humbling my heart, and sending me more frequently and earnestly to the throne of grace. I was often afraid of missing my way, and as often begged direction, pleading this promise, that God will teach the humble his way, and the meek he will guide