glades, and shady woods, revelling in the retirement he loved so well; however, after a few weeks the novelty lost its charms, and he returned to his own home no better, and ere long to die, an event which happened somewhat more than three years after the death of my mother. I was now left alone in the world, and the next part of my story will be how I became a governess.

CHAPTER V.

SUSAN GREY,― MRS. LAZENBY, THE EXCISEMAN, ETC.

"AFTER the death of my father, I felt such an utter loneliness as I cannot describe, not such loneliness as the solitude of a desert might inspire, in the mind of a Siberian exile, where he might listen to the wild storms sweeping in their fury over the vast steppes, or rocking the pine forests in awful sublimity, the scene might be in accordance with the stormy passions of his own heart, beating with desire for the strength and swiftness of the whirlwind, to hurl down the haughty and cruel oppressor, neither was it the loneliness of the cloistered nun, whom we might suppose to be preparing the soul (by prayer and meditation), for its everlasting flight; neither was it the loneliness of the bereaved, who might hope to be united again in the regions beyond the dark flood. Alas! I had not learned to pray, only the cold routine of the lip; I had bent the knee but not the heart; I knew not its mysterious power. If I remembered Jehovah, it was with the feelings of the forsaken; I had no earthly friends, and the world seemed not to pity me; if I was to attempt any comparison as to the state of my mind, I should think it was more like the despondency of rejected and hopeless love. A

few days after the funeral, a poor woman who had assisted me occasionally in the household duties, called to see me; I always remember with gratitude that visit, so disinterested were her sympathies, 'I can understand your feelings,' she said, 'but you must not despair, you have the world to fight, you can't live by the dead, neither is it wisdom to indulge in melancholy forebodings, I say indulge, Miss Lee, for it is possible to make it a selfish indulgence, and by carefully nursing a positive luxury, which you will find it difficult to dispense with, and then you will be unfit for the duties of life. We have our part to perform, and talents committed to our care, for which we must give an account at the great reckoning day; much as I feel for you, I think it wrong to complain of the dispensations of providence, or doubt the word of the Most High, for has He not said, 'I will be a Father to the fatherless, and a husband to the widow.' You would believe any great man who said such kind words, won't you believe your Heavenly Father, Miss Lee? I do think the Lord's prayer is so beautiful, and I have thought of it so much that it has become habitual; when I am toiling and drudging for the common necessaries of life, and sometimes cannot get them, I remember Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.' The last sentence was pronounced with such an emphasis, that I started as if awoke from a stupor. 'Thy will done;' I ejaculated, yes, Thy will be done.' Tears began to flow, the first I had shed since my bereavement, so intense was my sorrow.

"My poor friend supposing that my sorrow arose more from the absence of Divine love in my heart than from my lonely condition, said, 'There is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth. We are

all sinners, Miss Lee, would you not wish to make joy in heaven?'

"I said that I thought it sinful to complain, and I felt comforted a little by that beautiful expression, Thy will be done.'

"My poor friend fell on her knees and wrestled with the Lord on my behalf, begging in her simple yet beautiful language, that God would reveal Himself to me and help me. Well, I believe that prayer was answered; I felt comforted, the transition from grief to comparative tranquillity of mind, was more than I could comprehend, like those who are rack'd with pain and suffering, when an opiate is given by the physician. This good woman was a follower of the pious Wesley, and believed in the mystic overshadowing influences of the Holy Spirit, which succeed the horrible darkness of the soul under a sense of divine displeasure. She told me of wrestling Jacob, and faithless Thomas. Oh! what a joyous energy of holy zeal was manifest as she dwelt on the wrestling patriarch, all alone in the wild wilderness pleading for the blessing, and how he prevailed.

"It is just so now,' she said, 'our prayers are borne on the wings of faith, and must prevail, The brazen serpent was lifted up by Moses in the wilderness, and all who looked upon it were healed. It is just so now, we have all been bitten by the serpent of sin, and if we look to the cross we shall be healed

The moans of the penitent are heard by listening angels, whose shouts of victory and rapturous anthems, reverberate around the throne of God and the Lamb. And thus her thoughts would soar on the fair pinions of faith to the abodes of celestial happiness, and mingle with the praises of the redeemed. Before she left me, I said that the gloom of my mind might not arise from any particular impression of sin, (I was not aware that it did) but from the outward gloom by which I was surrounded, although I felt comforted, and was assured that God had heard and answered prayer. Then she endeavoured to convince me that all immoderate sorrow, was the effect of the heart's alienation, the Christian under all circumstances being resigned to the will of Heaven, the want of resignation being a proof of our bondage, these were arguments which I had neither the power or will to refute. our goodness is too often as the dews of the morning erelong to be wasted by the noontide heat; But how refreshing have these dew-drops been to the flowers of the field, giving strength to bear against the hot breathings of the solar ray. The remembrance of that time has often been as a gentle dew to my withered heart, often almost wasted, but the dew-drops of promise have fallen again, and prepared me for the heat and burden of the day. According to the advice of my friend, I went strong in hope to consult a lady named Mrs. Lazenby, who had a reputation for piety. I knew nothing of her from personal experience, but from her character and connexions I thought she might be able, and feel a pleasure in assisting me to a situation. I thought of becoming a governess; I balanced

Alas!