Striving against his Quiet all he can,
For the fine Notion of a bufy Man:
And what is that at beft but one whofe Mind
Is made to vex himself, and all Mankind?
Drudging for Wealth, a Courtier let him live ;
For, if fome odd fantastick Lord will drive
A Hackney Coach, and meaner Business do,
We should both pay him, and admire him too.
But is there any other Beaft alive,
Can his own Harm so wittily contrive?
Will any Dog that has his Teeth and Stones,
Refin❜dly leave his Bitches and his Bones,
To turn a Wheel; and bark to be employ'd ;
While VENUS is by Rival Dogs enjoy'd?
Yet this vain Man, to get a Statesman's Name,
Forfeits his Friends, his Freedom, and his Fame.
Tho' Satire nicely writ, no Folly stings
But theirs, who merit Praise for other things:
Yet we must needs this one Exception make,
And break our Rule for filly TROPO's sake;
Who lately too much scorn'd to be accus'd,
Now therefore scarce deserves to be abus'd.
Rais'd only by a mercenary Tongue
For railing smoothly, and for reasoning wrong.
As Boys on Holidays, let loose to play,
Halloo a ftumbling Jade in flipp'ry way;
Then laugh to fee in Dirt and deep Distress
Some awkard Cit in her flowr'd foolish Dress;
Such mighty Satisfaction have I found,
To fee this Tinfel Eloquence a-ground.
The florid Gravity we often saw
Baffled by common Whifflers of the Law.
For Senfe fits filent, and condemns for weaker
The finer, nay fometimes the wittier Speaker.
So odd a mixture no Man elfe affords;
Such scarcity of Senfe, fuch choice of Words!
At Bar abufive, on the Bench unable,
Knave on the Wool-fack, Fop at Council-Table! But these are Politicians, fuch as wou'd
Be rather high, than honeft; great than good.
Another fort of Wits fhall now be shown,
Whofe harmless Foibles hurt themselves alone;
Who think Excefs of Luxury can please,
And Laziness call loving of their Ease ;
Pleasure and Indolence their only Aim;
Yet their whole Life's but intermitting Pain.
Such Head-Achs, Surfeits, Ails, their days divide,
They fcarce perceive the little time befide.
Well-meaning Men, who make this gross Mistake,
And Pleasure lofe, only for Pleasure's fake!
Each Pleasure hath its Price, and when we pay
Too much of Pain, we fquander Life away.
Thus DT, purring like a thoughtful Cat,
Marry'd; but wiser Pufs ne'er thinks on that.
Like PEMBROKE'S Dog, fierce at his fondest time,
At once he wooes, and worries her in Rhime;
To gain her Love, expofes all her Life,
A teeming Widow, but a barren Wife.
With tame fubmiffion to the will of Fate,
He lugg'd about the Matrimonial Weight;
Till Fortune, blindly kind as well as he,
Has ill reftor'd him to his Liberty;
That is, to live in his old idle way
Smoaking all Night, and dozing all the Day;
Dull as NED HRD, whom his brisker Time
Had fam'd for Nonfenfe in immortal Rhime.
M-VE had much ado to 'scape the Snare, Tho' vers'd in all those Arts that cheat the Fair. Beauty and Wit had feiz'd his Heart so fast, That NUMPS himself feem'd in the Stocks at last. Old injur'd Parents dry'd their weeping Eyes,
In hopes to fee this Pirate made a Prize;
Th' impatient Town waited the wifh'd for Change, And Cuckolds fneer'd in hopes of fweet Revenge; Till his Ambition fet his Love afide,
And fav'd him, not by Prudence, but by Pride.
What tender Thoughts his harden'd Heart can
Who for a Shadow quits fubftantial Love?
And little * SID, for Simile renown'd,
Pleasure has always fought, but feldom found:
Tho' Wine and Women are his only Care,
Of both he takes a lamentable Share.
The Flesh he lives on, is too rank and strong;
His Meat and Mistresses are kept too long.
But, fure, we all mistake the pious Man,
Who mortifies his Perfon all he can ;
And what the World counts Lewdnefs, Vice, and Sin,
Are Penances of this odd Capuchin :
For never Hermit under grave pretence
Has liv'd more contrary to common Sense.
Expecting Supper is his chief Delight;
Like any Labourer, our little Knight
Toils all the Day, but to be drunk at Night;
When o'er his Cups this Night-Bird chirping fits,
Till he takes HUETT and JACK HALL for Wits.
Laft enter RR, of sprightly Wit,
Yet not for Converse safe, or Business fit.
* Remarkable for making pleasant and proper Similes on all Occafions.
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