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III.

ATTORNEYS AND CLIENTS.

Three attorneys, returning from the country, in a laughing mood asked a carter, jeeringly, why his foremost horse was so fat and the others so lean? "It is," replied the carter, who knew them, "because my foremost horse is an attorney, and the others his clients."

IV.

THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SOLDIER.

A soldier having found an inscription, in bronze letters, on an ancient monument, detached the letters one by one, and put them all together in a basket, which he sent to an antiquary, a friend of his, requesting him to let him know what the inscription meant.

V.

THE GASCON.

A Gascon said one day to

some one, "Lend me ten crowns, if you please." "But, sir, I have not the honour of knowing you." "That is precisely why I address myself to you, for all those who know me will not lend me."

VI.

THE FROZEN STONE.

A Spaniard, being in Russia, passed through a village during winter, and found himself pursued by several dogs. He stooped to pick up a stone to drive them away, but it stuck so fast he could not loosen it: "Oh! the wretched country!" exclaimed he, "where they fasten the stones and let loose the dogs."

VII.

LOUIS XIV. AND BOILEAU.

Louis XIV. was showing Boileau some verses of his own composition, and asked him his opinion. "Sire,” replied Boileau, “nothing is impossible to your majesty; you have wished to make bad verses, and you have succeeded."

VIII.

BUFFON AND THE FIGS.

Thouin, the nurseryman of the Botanical Garden, had commissioned a servant to carry two fine early figs to Buffon.

On his way the servant allowed himself to be tempted, and ate one of these fruits. Buffon, knowing that two were to be sent to him, asked

the servant for the other, who confessed his fault.

"How did you do it?" exclaimed Buffon. The servant took the remaining fig, and, swallowing it :-"I did like that," said he.

IX.

A SIMPLETON.

A simpleton wrote the following letter to one of his friends:-"My dear C......, I have forgot my gold snuff-box at your house; do me the favour of returning it by the bearer of this note." Just as he was sealing it, he finds his snuff-box, and adds as a P.S.: "I have just found it; do not take the trouble of looking for it." Then he shuts his letter and sends it.

X.

A BRAVE MAN.

A man having been several times robbed in the streets of Paris, no longer dared to go out. They advised him to carry pistols with him: "The robbers," he answered, "would take them from me."

XI.

GALLANTRY OF FONTENELLE.

Fontenelle, when ninety years of age, was passing before Madam Helvetius, whom he had not perceived in taking his seat at table. "See," said she to him, "the value which I ought to place upon your gallantries; you pass before me without looking at me." "Madam," the old sentimental gallant replied, "had I looked at you I would not have passed.”

XII.

NUMA POMPILIUS.

Florian had just published his Numa Pompilius. Some one asked a lady if she had read this new production. "Undoubtedly.” "And how did you like it?" "Like all works of that kind; and I had foreseen the result of it from the first page." "What result?" "The marriage of the lovers." "What lovers?" "Eh! Pompilius, who ends by marrying Numa.”

XIII.

ON LADIES' AGE.

A rather pretty woman said the other evening that she was going to open her house, but that

she would admit there no woman who should be more than thirty. "That will be charming," said one of her friends to her. "but must make haste, for in a year you will no longer be able to invite yourself."

XIV.

IN A COURT OF JUSTICE.

The President-Your age, madam?

The Lady-Oh! whatever age you please, sir. The President-Forty-five. . Your profession?

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The Lady-Pardon me, sir; you are mistaken by ten years.

The President-Well, fifty-five. . . Your abode ?

The Lady, in anger-But, sir, I assure you that I am only thirty-five.

The President-At last!

XV.

FLATTERY.

One day an old officer asked Louis XIV. to retain him in his service, and not make him a pensioner. "But you are very old, sir," replied the monarch. "Sire," replied the officer, "I am only three years older than your majesty,

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