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nature and that of animals, how do you explain that people who love us most are those that we love least?" "I have not yet come to the subject of monsters, madam," replied Monsieur de Buffon coldly.

XC.

THE TACITURN MAN.

A gentleman from Brittany, extremely taciturn and laconic, never put any questions, and only replied by monosyllables to those which were addressed to him. Being at dinner with a princess, that lady challenged Mr. de Courten, lieutenant-colonel of the Swiss guards, and a witty man, to make him speak.

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The challenge was accepted; the officer placed himself beside the Breton, and did him the honours of the dinner. "What soup do you take?" "Rice." "Which wine do you prefer?" "White." Ten other similar questions obtained the same replies. Sir," continued the officer, “you are from Saint Malo ?" "Yes." "Is it true that that town is guarded by dogs?" "Yes." "Oh! that is very "Not more strange than to see the king of France guarded by Swiss." "Ah! princess," said the officer, "you see that I have made him speak."

strange!"

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XCI.

RECIPROCITY.

Masson, a professor in Trinity College, after having sent to ask one of his colleagues to lend him a certain book, had for an answer, "that his books did not leave his room, but that if he would give himself the trouble of coming there, he might read as long as he wished."

Some days after, the same pedant sent to beg Masson to lend him his bellows, and Masson answered "that his bellows did not leave his room, but if he wished to come there, it would be in his power to blow there as long as he wished."

XCII.

THE INDIAN AND HIS HORSE.

A Spaniard having stolen a horse from an Indian, the latter convicted him with great skill. He complained to a judge, who caused the Spaniard and the horse to appear before him. The Spaniard swore that the horse belonged to him, and that he had always had it, without the judge being able to convict him of theft. He was even on the point to dismiss

them, when the Indian said to him, "I will prove, if you allow it, that the horse belongs to

me."

Immediately he takes off his cloak, covers the head of the horse with it, and asks the thief of which eye he is blind. The thief finds himself rather in a fix, and nevertheless, not to remain silent, he replies by chance that it is of the right eye. Then the Indian, uncovering the head of the horse, says, "He is neither blind of the right eye nor the left." And the judge, convinced, awards it to him.

XCIII.

ANOTHER SAMSON.

Some Knights of Malta were discussing one day the dangers with which they seemed to be threatened by the Turks, whom they said were coming secretly upon them with a hundred thousand men. One of the knights was named Samson, and had the misfortune to be very small in stature, and all shrivelled up.

It happened that one of the company said, joking: "Gentlemen, what reason have we for being alarmed? have we not a Samson among us? He alone will be sufficient to destroy the whole army of the Turks." This speech having excited great laughter, the dwarfish gentleman

replied immediately: "You are right, sir; but in order to succeed more surely, I ought to have one of your jaws, and then I would do miracles."

XCIV.

THE TWO MONKS.

Two monks, the one a Dominican and the other a Franciscan, travelling together, found themselves stopped by a river. The Dominican said to the Franciscan, that as he walked barefooted, he was obliged by the rule of his order to carry him that if he refused to do so, he would commit a great sin.

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The Franciscan yielded to this observation, and took him upon his shoulders. When they were in the middle of the ford, the Franciscan asked the other if he had any pieces of money on him. "Yes," said he, "I have two francs." "I beg your pardon, my father," returned the disciple of St. Francis; "but my order forbids me to carry money ;" and in saying these words he threw his man in the river.

XCV.

BEAUMARCHAIS.

A courtier, seeing Beaumarchais (who was the son of a watchmaker) passing in the gallery

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of Versailles with a very fine coat on, came up to him: Ah! Monsieur de Beaumarchais, meet you opportunely; my watch has gone out of order; do me the favour of looking into it." Willingly, sir; but I warn you that I have always been exceedingly awkward."

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He insists upon it; Beaumarchais takes the watch, and lets it fall. "Ah! sir, I beg a thousand pardons! but I had told you so, and it was you who wished it." And he went away, leaving very much disconcerted him who had thought to humiliate him.

XCVI.

THE THIEF AND LOUIS XIV.

A thief conceives the idea one day to take down a clock in one of the apartments of Louis XIV. At the moment he was doing the deed, the king enters; the thief, without losing his presence of mind, said: "I fear very much that the ladder may slip." The king, persuaded that this can only be some one of the household who is taking down this clock for some repairs, holds the foot of the ladder for fear of an accident.

Some hours afterwards, they complain to the monarch that a clock has been removed in one of the apartments, they knew neither by whom nor how.

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