also, in some degree, to show the course of their travels, and the exercises for the body's sake, which they had to pass through. to bestow on us. Yet, since I came into England, I have flinched like a cowardly soldier, and not stood my ground; but by hearkening to the insinuations and discouragements of the enemy, I have been hindered in my progress, been led into confusion, and into such a vast wilderness, that I am at times fearful I shall fall therein. The dragon and wild beasts seem to surround, and such darkness to overspread me, that it appears almost impossible I should ever see and enjoy the promised land. In a letter to his parents, dated Yarmouth, first month 2nd, 1751, he says; "I still continue with our dear Friend, John Churchman, not having liberty to leave him; though I am such a poor creature that I often think I add to the weight of his sufferings, of which he has had a large share, having waded through deep baptisms and sore conflicts, on account of the great declension and lukewarm-Yet I have in humility to acknowledge, that ness of the professors of truth, who have a name to live, and yet are dead. This sad disorder is prevalent among many in most places; yet there is preserved a little remnant in nearly all the meetings, with whom he has to sympathize." In a subsequent letter, dated London, third month 27th, he remarks; "Though I love the truth, and the enjoyment of my Master's presence, yet I have not given up to be so fully resigned to his will, as I am sensible I ought to be; for which he has, in his mercy, been pleased to chastise me many ways; and for several weeks has withdrawn the light of his countenance, so that I have had to pass through a barren wilderness; yet I am sensible that He who is all-powerful, is able to make even the barren wilderness a fruitful field. My transgressions have been so many, and the strivings and visitations of the Lord's spirit so frequent, and he has so long waited to be gracious to my soul, that I at times fear my day is almost, if not quite, over; and that I am unworthy any more to be favoured. Indeed, such gross darkness and stupidity seem to surround me, that I scarcely dare to look up, or cry out for mercy. But, my dear parents, I have, in much reverence and humility just to say, that for a few days past, I have had a faint hope and belief that the Lord will visit again; and if it should please him, in his infinite love and mercy, thus to do, I hope, through his power, to be more faithful. And I hope that you, my dear parents, in your near accesses to him in prayer, will not be unmindful of me." They now travelled into the north of England and some parts of Scotland. At Bridlington, in Yorkshire, he wrote a letter to his parents, dated fifth month 23d, 1751, from which the following extract is taken, containing the first information, from himself, of his being engaged in the ministry. "I have ever been sensible, since I knew anything almost, that we were not created barely to serve ourselves; and have many times been desirous that I might not be an unthankful receiver of the many favours and blessings which Providence hath been pleased the Lord, in the riches of his love, has been pleased sometimes, in the deepest distress, to afford manna to my poor soul, by which I have been somewhat refreshed. And I much desire to be preserved in patience, until it shall please the Lord to redeem me therefrom; for I believe it has been, and still is, necessary I should undergo suffering, that my will may be brought into true resignation and holy subjection to the Divine will. For we must undergo much, to become truly fools. "I find you have heard, that it has pleased the Lord to cause my mouth to be opened a few times in the ministry; being obliged to do so after having undergone some days' severe discipline, in order to get a little ease. But I transgressed so often, that He suffered the enemy to lead me into the state I am now in; and I have not said anything for several months. "My dear companion has been very affec tionate and kind to me, and has not been wanting in wholesome advice and counsel, and has frequently given me encouragement; otherwise I believe I should have sunk long since." A letter to his brother Israel, dated from Kendal, tenth month 7th, developes the state of his mind under these exercises still more distinctly. The following is an extract: "It is with much gratitude, not only to thee, my dear brother, but to our great and kind Master, that I have to acknowledge the receipt of thy several affectionate and sympa. thizing epistles, which all came to hand in due course, and afford me much consolation; being sensible the counsel given me, sprang not out of the earth, but that thou wast directed therein by our gracious Benefactor; to whom I desire to be kept faithful, in humble thankfulness, not only for the encouragement he is pleased to favour me with from my near and dear friends, but also for his immediate support, and tender dealings with me. For I can in truth say, He has not been wanting to give me peace and joy, when I have been faithful in discharging what he has required; although to the natural man it might appear trifling and mean. But alas! I have fre quently forfeited this repose and near union"I had some consolation by the presence of with my Master, by suffering reasoning to Him, whom I often grieve, and through weaktake place; while the grand adversary of our ness deprive myself of the favour of his blessed happiness is always on his watch, to insinu- presence, and the smiles of his countenance. ate some plausible excuse to deter us from For this holy visitation my spirit was much our duty. This has been my weakness, for tendered in thankfulness, and I renewed covewhich I have had to suffer deeply; being often nant with my blessed Redeemer." put into the furnace to be further refined and hardened. Yet I fear I shall never turn out an edge that will stand, fit for use and service. For whenever I neglect my duty by suffering reasonings to overpower, the enemy well knows my weak side, and fails not to affright me with terrible apprehensions, and so to sink me as into the pit, where nothing but darkness and horror appear. And for my disobedience the Lord is pleased to withdraw his presence, and I am left to be tossed as a ship on the ocean. Yet when I have been most deeply beset, he has been pleased to interpose, and shut the jaws of the devourer, and revive a little hope that I am not quite given over. Then the twilight has again appeared, and the sun in some measure also; at which my soul has had to rejoice, and in thankfulness to praise the name of my Redeemer, who deals tenderly with us poor creatures. I wish I could say that these sufferings had taught me wisdom; for alas! it has not been only once or twice, that I have thus failed, but very often; and I remain frequently in this low spot, sometimes for weeks, yea months. My very dear companion has carried himself exceeding affectionately towards me, and is very capable of giving advice and counsel; which he fails not to do." In a letter to his brother James, of the same date, he remarks; "Let such whose eyes the Lord in mercy has been pleased to open, to see in some measure his beauty, and the great comeliness of his blessed truth, dwell in humility and in a sense of his favours, that so they may be a furtherance and not a hindrance, to the reformation and great work which he is determined to bring to pass. I continue a weakling, yet at times am in degree enabled to breathe for the preservation of myself and friends. There is much want of qualified members to act in the discipline of the church, which God in his power and wisdom, concerned our worthy forefathers to set up; and which we know has been as a hedge to enclose and preserve our Society, where it has been strictly kept up, while a manifest declension appears where it is neglected. It is with sorrow of soul I sometimes view our Society in some places, where they have not kept a strict watch in this respect; and in others where they make a show of something of the kind, yet act in the affairs of the church with the carnal will and reasonings of man, not being willing to bow in mind, so that they might receive a qualification from Him, who only can influence rightly to act for his glory. Many of this kind usurp authority and rule in the church, to the burden and grief of the true hearted. After travelling for several months in Scotland and the north of England, they took passage at Whitehaven and crossed the chan- "As we have been here but a short time, I nel to Dublin. The next day they attended have seen little about me, having kept house the meeting in Sycamore-alley; respecting mostly since we landed; for it sinks my spirit which John Pemberton makes the following to walk along the streets, to hear and behold remark: "There appeared too much curiosity the profanity of the inhabitants." in some, to know who and what we were; of which my dear companion was sensible, and directed them how they might best know such who are sent amongst them; which was, by getting to the root of Divine life, the true touch-stone, which can savour spirits; and in that state, the children of one Father are known to each other." In his journal, under date of first-day, sixth month 21st, is the following: "Many of the professors of truth in this day, attend meetings for form, and because it is looked upon as disreputable to forsake going to places of worship; many content themselves with going once a week, and by reason of these our meetings are covered with heaviness, dryness and gloom, and the faithful few are bowed under a weight of exercise and sorrow." Whilst they remained in Dublin, his mind was afresh brought into discouragement on his own account; and he had also to partake From Dublin they passed northward, havof renewed baptism as for the dead, under a ing meetings at Dundalk, Newry, Moyallen, sense of the state of the church. He says Lurgan, Lisburn, Belfast, &c. At Ballinhe was brought into "a very low spot;" but derry, on the 5th of seventh month, John in due time he was favoured with a consoling Pemberton remarks, that a spirit of drowsievidence of the continued favour of the Al-ness had come over many of those present at mighty, as appears from the following extract the meeting, who were closely spoken to, but from his journal, dated 17th of sixth month: to very little purpose. He adds, "My com gluttony, pride and other evils, and thereby have corrupted their ways." panion had a very searching time, in which he opened the state of the church, showing the cause why such degeneracy appeared; After this they visited Dungannon, Charleand had to speak very closely to some who mont, and other places in the county Tyrone; pretended to be of the foremost rank and at where they found the meetings of Friends in the head of affairs, but were corrupt in prac- a very declining condition, from the predomitice and unsound members; and even minis-nance of a worldly spirit, by which the faithters, who had begun in the spirit, being called ful were sorely burdened and discouraged. and qualified of God for this honourable sta- Close labour was administered to those; and tion; yet, not keeping to the root of life in a little strength and encouragement extended themselves, their ministry was become dead, to the oppressed suffering remnant. though they retained a form of words, and From Dungannon, John Pemberton wrote could reason and speak of things they had to his parents to the following effect: "We learned in the beginning. By joining with have travelled hard all last week, meetings the world and the spirit thereof, they had lying at a pretty great distance from each eclipsed the light, and their spirits were not other, and had one every day except yesterso seasoned with good as in times past. Such, day. The travail of the faithful in our Sowhether elders or ministers, were desired to ciety at this day, is with pain and sorrow. look back and consider from what they had How long the Lord in mercy may lengthen fallen, and humble themselves before the out the day of visitation, and forbear to shake Lord, that they might be again quickened. his rod over the land, is not for mortals to It is hard to persuade some to believe the determine; but wickedness, pride, folly and truth of themselves, and to see where they But we had to rejoice, in that there was a number there, both young and old, whose spirits were seasoned with the truth, and whose dwelling was low. Consolation was administered to such, and prayers were put up, that their faith might not fail; as Christ said to Peter, when satan desired to have him and the rest of the disciples, that he might sift them as wheat; which is the case with the faithful now. They are tried and proved, and often meet with buffetings and slights from such who call themselves bre-sible the Lord's power is above his power, and thren, and are at the helm of affairs, and act therein by the wisdom and carnal apprehension of man; under whose government the church will never thrive, nor the affairs thereof be conducted aright. It was declared that the days would come, when such should be laid aside, or taken away, and those raised up who would depend on the Lord for wisdom and counsel, and live uprightly: then would the church flourish and the truth shine." are. vanity greatly abound; for which the land mourns. Oh, that such whom the Lord has in some measure favoured with his love, and who have tasted of the good word of life and the powers of the world to come, may stand faithful and upright, under the direction of their holy Captain; that they may be found clear in the day of trial. I much desire to be of the number of these; but infirmities so surround, and faith is so weak, that I am fearful at times, I shall fall a victim to the enemy, who is powerful in his attacks. Yet I am sen that he will enable such who stand faithful to his command, to resist the adversary.” In a letter written at Lurgan, a week afterwards, he speaks thus of the desolations of the church in those parts: "It is lamentable to behold how many there are who appeared as bright lights, and might have continued ornaments in our Zion, who, by letting their minds out by degrees after the perishing treasure of this world, have eclipsed the light in themselves; and from this, other evils ensuing, some have of late become a reproach to the profession. Yet I believe there are a few preserved, who I pray may still be kept from the unrighteous leaven." Passing thence, they travelled to Antrim, Ballinacre, Grange and Coleraine, and afterwards towards Toberhead; near which place they held a meeting, as they had done at the other places of their tarriance. "Here," says John Pemberton, "My companion was greatly At Ballyhagan he makes the following meopened and enlarged, and towards the conclu- morandum: "First-day being esteemed by sion, had to prophecy of a day which was some an idle day, the house was much approaching, that would try the foundations crowded with Friends and others. Much of all; and woe would be unto such who time was spent in silence; after which my were not on the right foundation. It was told companion appeared in the demonstration and them that religion would not flourish, it was power of the gospel, beginning with the words to be feared, until a trying time came upon this nation, which would purge the earth from the gross professors of Christianity, as well priests and ministers, as hearers, who live in spoken by the Lord through the mouth of a servant: Oh! that my people were wise, that they understood this; that they would consider their latter end!' Many were ten dered through the power that accompanied he speaks of the low state to which about his service, and God was glorified, who over this time he was reduced, notwithstanding the and above all, is worthy of dominion and fatherly care exercised and comfort attempted praise now and forever. The meeting con- to be administered, by his experienced comcluded well, and Friends proceeded to the panion. These baptisms, which more or less business; in which my companion had a must attend all true ministers of the glorious short but very close testimony, inviting them gospel of Christ, may be considered as an to bestir themselves, to revive and put in evidence that he was not going about this practice the discipline, that had been much weighty work in his own will, but under the neglected; first, by applying to the great Phy- constraining power of divine love and the sician, to have themselves thoroughly cleansed holy anointing of the Spirit of Truth. from the dregs of self and the world; that so In a letter to his parents dated at Moat, a holy zeal may again be raised, and they eighth month 15th, 1752, he says: "I desire prepared to receive counsel and qualification to be thankful for the many mercies and fato act to the honour of God, not in their own vours the Lord is pleased to grant us; and wills, nor to be seen of men, but in humility this, I am satisfied cannot be done but through and reverence, for the welfare of Zion and obedience to his manifestations and a careful the glory of God. It was told them, that observance of his law. Oh! that this then the Lord seemed still to hover over them, may be the practice of all who profess his and was willing again to revisit and quicken blessed name. Then would greenness appear into a holy sense and life, if they would on our branches, and lively and acceptable embrace and seek him in sincerity of heart. fruits would be produced, to the glory of God But if not, they would be set aside, and a and the edification and comfort of ourselves purer and more noble people would be raised and one another. My mind, though in weakin that province, who would seek His hon- ness and much poverty, is at times engaged our, more than the grandeur and praise of that this may be my concern and care. But the world." through fears, and sometimes self, that great Taking, after this, a southerly course, they enemy to our advancement in godliness, gettravelled through the county of Westmeath, ting possession, I reason away, what I fear, having many meetings, until they reached yea, by what I feel afterwards, I am sure is Moat, where John Churchman was detained my duty. And were it not that we have a nearly three weeks by illness. John Pem- most merciful God, who is indeed long sufferberton thus mentions it in a letter to his pa- ing and full of compassion, my soul had been rents: "We have been detained here above as the plains of Sodom, and as desolate as two weeks by my dear companion's indis- the streets of Gomorrah. But blessed, and position. He has been brought very low, to in reverence, ever praised be his holy name, appearance almost to the grave. Yet, through I yet witness at times his mercy extended, the mercy and providence of God, he is again that would restore. Oh, that I may be faraised, and has, for a few days past, reco-voured with faith to believe and trust in his vered to admiration; for which mercy and fa- power! For he alone can create true faith, vour let God be glorified and praised; unto and give ability and holy resolution to occupy whom, and unto his dear Son, honour and faithfully the gifts entrusted to us." glory are due, both now and forever." They now resumed their journey; but John Pemberton appears to have been again tried with a sense of poverty and desertion. He was, as it were, in his infancy as a minister of the gospel, and had many baptisms to pass through on his own account, under a sense of his inability, in his own strength, to advance the kingdom of the Redeemer. Many close provings were his portion, and discouraging fears, lest any misstep of so inexperienced a servant might mar the work to which he had put his hand. It is also apparent that the state of the churches, and various circumstances of the people among whom their lot was cast, rested constantly upon his mind with oppressive weight, and increased the burden of trial and exercise. In his memorandums and letters, VOL. VI.-No. 7. They had now got as far south as the county Tipperary, where they attended meetings at Cashell, Clonmel, and some other places; and then proceeded into the county of Cork, having close labour at several meetings in the city of Cork, and visiting Youghall, Bandon, Mallow and Charleville. Thence they went to Limerick and attended the quarterly, or province meeting for Munster. Under date of first-day, ninth month 24th, John Pemberton says: "I was concerned in the fore part of the meeting to supplicate the Almighty, in a few words, that he would be pleased to grant us ability to worship him acceptably, and that he would so overshadow with his power, that the disorderly, light and airy spirits might be kept under. My companion had afterwards a searching testimony. The young men who were accounted witty, 35 John Pemberton says in a letter from this place, that they found more substantial Friends in that province than in the north; but adds, that they had to sympathise with them, under a sense of the prevailing degeneracy; "for," says he, "the beauty of Zion seems to be laid waste, and Jerusalem become almost a desolation." And he gives this as a great cause of the degeneracy, viz: "The elders having too much winked at what are by many called small things; and thereby greater evils have got head in their families and in the church; and they have lost their authority by not dwelling in the virtue and power of truth." were exhorted to learn that heavenly wisdom, of those who entertained deistical and freewhich would stand them in stead in a pinch- thinking notions. ing time. It was plainly told them, that several of them were favoured with good natural qualifications, and had acquired the world's wisdom, so that they could argue and pretend to find out the causes of things; yet that this would profit them little; wherefore they were exhorted to get understanding. The elders too were aroused, some warned and some encouraged, and the meeting ended pretty well. In the afternoon meeting I sunk again into the old spot, out of which I had been somewhat recovered, by not having faith to obey a small motion to duty; and I suffered deeply therefor, as I have many times done. O! faith, that precious gift, how weak is it with me, and how does cowardice prevail! After having meetings at several other My companion had a searching opportunity places, they attended the quarterly meeting to stir up Friends to their duty; but how dull for the province of Leinster, at Mount Melof hearing are the professors; how blind lick. Referring to the meeting for worship do they make themselves, and what an itch-held there on first-day, John Pemberton says: ing is there after words! Yet there are a few "There was a greater appearance of Friends preserved tender, and a visitation to many of than I had seen before at one place. Some the young. But self-denial is a narrow path yet retain their zeal and tenderness, both to flesh, and few care to walk therein. Oh, among the aged and the youth, though many that I might be favoured with faithfulness to are lukewarm and carnal professors, whose persevere in it! In the evening was the meet- delight is centred in this world; some have ing for ministers and elders, in which my com- made unto themselves gods of silver and panion advised some to search deeply, and gold; and some of the youth worship themsee if something had not dimmed the beauty selves, decking and adorning and doting on with which the truth arrays her children; and themselves, yet are careless of seeking after if it was found that life and zeal were in mea- the adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, sure lost, to apply unto Him who can, and is which only can give true beauty and comewilling to restore. He showed Friends, in the liness." wisdom of Truth, the door by which undue liberty and corruption have crept into the church, and laid waste the beauty of the truth in many in this nation; to wit, by elders and heads of families conniving at weaknesses in their children, so that by degrees, one evil after another prevailed. "Second-day; this morning a meeting for worship was held, in which my companion had a clear, good time, though very close to the dead and carnal professors, the libertines and the careless; yet he had consolation for the sensible, and encouragement to such who were young in years, that were tender and desirous of good. I had a few sentences to express in a weak manner and in fear; but by letting in reasoning afterwards, I suffered much, being sorely buffeted both by self and the devil, for want of abiding in calmness and retiring to the right centre." At Limerick they remained some days and attended several meetings; in which John Churchman was led into very close labour with a spirit of worldly wisdom and self-security, and had to show the deplorable condition At Ballynakill they had an opportunity with Friends, in which he remarks; "Little was said to them, their expectations being outward. They were plainly told thereof, and advised not to neglect their own duty and set their eyes on man, but to retire unto Him who alone can afford true satisfaction; and then they would be better prepared to receive help through instruments." They proceeded to Carlow, Athy and Ballitore, and had a religious opportunity with the scholars at Abraham Shackleton's school; thence to Newton, Kilconner and Waterford. At this place they attended three meetings, which were times of close labour and searching as with lighted candles. A warning was sounded to those who were dangerously building without the true line and plummet, even the anointing of the holy Spirit. Friends were cautioned also against a conformity to the customs, fashions and manners of the world, and a delight in its riches and friendships. The instance of the siege of Ai, was set before them, when the children of Israel could not prosper against their enemies, until |