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A DANDY OF THE YEAR 1770.-(From a NATIONAL TRAITS:Every Nation has its Daily Paper, published at that period.)"A traits :—the Spaniards sleep, on every affair of few days ago a maccaroni made his appear- importance--the Italians tiddle--the Germans ance in the assembly rooms at Whitehaven, in smoke-the French promise every thing--the the following dress-A mixed silk coat, pink British eat—and the Americans talk upon every satin waistcoat and brecches, corrred with an thing. elegant silver net, white silk stockings with Royal Disaster. The foreign papers pink clocks, pink satin shoes and large pearl gravely inforin us that his Majesty, the King buckles, a mushroom coloured stock, covered of Prussia, has hurt his nose by the overturning with fine point lars-hair dressed remarkably of a sledge. To say that thousands of weavers high, and stuck full of pearl pins.”

at Carlisle cannot obtain food, is a mere trifle, PRESENT PopulaTIOX.-The table of popu- which few condescend to notice; but that the lation and territory of the present civilized King of Prussia should have hurt his royal world, as exhibited by Mr. Bristed, gives to nose, is peculiarly affecting! And yet, what China, 200 millions, and 1.200.000 square occasion has a King for a nose! Cannot he miles of territory ; to (ireat Britain, 20 millions create a new state officer to smell for him? As j of population, and 100,000 square miles, and Monarchs transact all their real business by to the United States, 10 millions, and 2,500,000 proxy, some of their natural occasions might miles; and the total of the whole world is, of be performed in the same way. It would be population, 435,800,000, and of territory peculiarly pleasing, if the Prince Regent would 9,687,000 square miles; so that the United appoint the weavers of Carlisle eaters general States have the largest hone territory of all the of his kitchen establishment. It costs enough pations except Russia. China is not included to supply them all amply with the surplus of in this, because it contains many parts harha- what real dignity would require. rous, helpless, and inactive. Britain possesses Wax CILANDLER.-Of old, when gratitude 150 millions of subjects in her colonial empire, to saints called so frequently for lights, the and covers a dominion equal to nearly one-fifth wax-chandlers were a lourishing company; of the whole surface of the globe; but her main they were incorporated in 1484, and the fol strength must always depend upon the re- lowing more frugal than delicate bill of fare sources, intelligence, spirit, and character of

was served on the occasion:--Two loins of her native population in the British Isle". vcal and two loins of mutton, Is. 4d.; one

The Regent's Punců.-By the politeness loin of beef, 4d.; a leg of mutton, 24d.; á of a gentleman, on whose correctness we may pig, 4d.; a capon, 6d.; a coney, 20.; one depend, we are cnabled to present our readers dozen of pigeons, 7d.; one hundred eggs, with the receipt for this “nectarious drink."It is as follows:-three bottles of champaigne, 8.; one kilderkin of ale, 8d.: total, six

84d.; one goose, 6d.; one gallon of red wine, a bottle of bock, a bottle of curacoa, a quart of shillings. brandy, a pint of rum, two bottles of madeira, two bottles of Seltzer water, four pounds of bloom raisins, seville oranges, lemons, white sugar candy, and instead of water, green tea.

Ode.
The whole to be highly iced. This is au im-
portant document!
LEGAL ADVANTAGES.-At a late assizes at

TO THE GERMAN DRAMA.
York, a cause went thither for twenty shillings Daughter of Night, chaotic Queen!
The plaintiff obtained a verdict in the most
triumphant manner; the attorney was all exul Thou fruitsui source of modern plays;
tation; and the plaintiff, baving come off con Whole subtle plot, and tedious scene
queror, has been in gaol ever since for the ex The monarch sporu, the robber raise
penses.

Bound in thy necromantic spell, Mopery Seriovs. There is no species of Tóc 'audience taste the joys of hell; composition that seems to stand more in needł

And Britain's sons indignant groan of an infusion of fresh vigour than sermons.Many of our preachers seem to think that the

Withi pangs unfelt before at crimes before une intrinsic charms of the truth are so obvious as

known.
to supersede the necessity of any outward dis-
play of them; and, however mich, as Swift When first, to make the nations stare,
observed in his day, they may fall short of the Folly her painted mask display'd,
apostles in working miracles, they greatly sur SCHILLER sublimely mad was there,
pass them in the art of setting men asleep.

And Kotz'bue lent his inigaiy aid-
A WONDERFUL WIFE.—On the souih wall of Gigautic pair ! their lofty soui,
Stratham church, there is a monument with the
following inscription :

:-" Elizabeth, wife of Disdaining Reason's weak controul, "' jor-General Hamilton, who was married On changeful Britain sped the blow,

"pren years, and never did one thing to Who, thongtitless of her own, embrac'd fetitions . se her buhayd!!!

woe.

A#d by thy scowl tremendo's, fly

NOT A MISS.
Fair Comedy's theatrie brood;
Light satire, wit, and harmless joy,

MATILDA, whose charms were beginning to fade,

A testy old widower seemed to upbraid, And leave us dungeons, chains, and blood;

With, Pardou me, sir,—but I think, to be Swift they disperse, and with them go

plain, Mild OTWAY, Sentimental Rowe, CONGREVE averts the indignant eye,

u You'll not do amiss, if you marry again.” And SHAKSPEARE mourns to view th' exotic pro- The gentleman strugg'd up his shoulders, and said, digy.

In reply~" "Tis a chance if again I shall wed;

** But you need not take pains to convince me of Rafians in regal mantle dight,

this.---
Maidens immers'd in thought profound, “ If I marry again--it will not be a Miss."
Spectres that baunt the shades of night,
And spread a waste of ruin round:

A Physician, whose name rras 1. Lesam, nrols

the following orer his shop door. These form thy never-varying theine, While buried in thy Stygian stream,

I cure my patients with my art, Religion mourns her wasted fires,

And with iny physic sweats 'em;
And Hymen's sacred torch low hisses and expires. And after, if they choose to die,

What's that to me-1. Lets'om.
O midy o'er the British stage,
Great Anarch, spread thy sable wings;

OLD DRURY.-In the days of Mr. Writbreach Not Gr'd with all the frantic rage

when Drury-lane Theatre was in a state of With which thou hurl'st thy darts at kings,

inost lamentable distress, it was justly saw (As thou in native garb art seen)

tha', had not Mr. Kean appeared, it wronlel

, in

a fortnight, have been a breuchouse. It is now With scatter'd tresses, haggard mien,

in the same predicament — it wants a supSepalchral chains, and hideous cry, By Despot arts immur'd in ghastly poverty."

PORTER.

le specious form, dread Queen, appear,

Scraps.
Let Falsehood fill the dreary waste,
Ta democratic rant be here,

THE TAYLOR'S SOLILOQCY.
To fire the brain, corrupt thy taste.

By Mr. HARRISON.
The fair, by vicious love misled,
Teach mne to cherish, and to wed,

To be, or not to be a Taylor ? That is the To low-horn Arrogance to bend,

question. Shail I, who feel myself a ne'); Establishid order spurn, and call each outcast

yes, every inch a man! have but one-nint of friend.

S. iny just claim allowed, as if it were my vind,

taxed by too rigid justice; who being blind, secs not the risks Iran: Forbid it, Heaven!

I am a man; and a man of conseguence too, Puns. for no inan is a man withont me.

Even kings would be Sans Culottes, if I turned traitor,

and refused to make them breeches; and who ON MR. MOORE's

would reverence their bendir of judges, and Being heard to say, that Ireland would give up their bench of bishops, if I did not in iufacture

furred all claim to Ossian, if she could call BURNS

gowns and lawn sleeres:

Yes, law, divinity, and physic too, all stand indebted to her oirn.

me for their importance: I ain, therefore, not only a man, but a man of imporiance.

What The Poet, in whose hand Anachreon's lyre

would our brave sailors do, those brave fello iz Was struck with more than e'en its master's fire; to wbom we chiefly owe the safety of our coren. Whose native melody more sweetly breath'd try itself, without jackets and trowsers: wiy When his gay flowers round Ireland's harp were they would be as bare-bottomed as so many wreath'd,

Mounseers, and then we should see that they Said that his country would its Ossian give,

had no more bottom neither. The soldiers, To have bid Burns on the Green Island live.

too, they would cut a very pretty figure, to be

'sure, without me! Why, zounds! it is enough Erin could ne'er have wish'd it, for before to make a man swear ; but as I am a manThe poet's thought was breath’d, his land had- damme! I must be a man, for no animal on MooBE.

earth but a man erer swears-ves. Surely I

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ani a man, the very reason that the girls all I am told, will not be cheated out of his own, riin to the parade, to the parks, to every re like a poor tailor by his bad customers: and I view, to the camps, and to all places after the should choose, since I am obliged to give long soldiers, where saidiers are to be seen, is be- credit, to have as long allo:red me as possible, cause they are so smartly cloathed by

They may talk of sluiting off life, but I had What makes soldiers, in their eyes, look so

riether shuitle through lite. Conscicace, they handsome! but the searlet clothi, the buli, and say, makes cowarıls of us all: but a tailor las the blue, in which I dress them; tine gold lace,

no conscience; ergo, a tailor is no coward. and the worsted lace, the gold epaulets, and Shall I, who am a man of so many functions, the worsted epaulets, with which I trim the submit to be thus treated, without reply? No i most valiant dogs in the world ? A tailor, then, if they could cut ine as small as cabbaye, put is not only a man, but a man of valuur, zince

me into the fire like my goose, freeze ne into he tries them all. At court, who would be the coldness of my favorito cue!imbers, or send introduced into the royal presence, without me to hell itself, I will speaki--while I am t my preparing them for a good reception? Does man! The world shall hear of my ill-usage it signly one farthing what is within, provide and, if I do not experience mure respect, each ed as hois I have the management of the ont mother's son shall be reduces to the primitive side? In courting, tos, as well as at court, are

tig-leaf'apron--- or else I am fully deteriuined to uut vinety-nine wonea out of every hundred, make them all pay swingingły for every article more governed their choice by my part of of dress they get from me, and thus, in my the object, tha any other consideration what, turn--laugh in my sleeve! Damne, who's erer?

“A go i coat," as the old song should afraid ? say, “and a ght pair of brecches, go throug'ı the world.” li a man has no credit with his tailor, he has done elsewhere: nobody will admit a man of merit out at elbours into his house; pobody will speak to genius cloathed in rags

Song. in the'street. But let ine have the dressing of the vijest rascal in the universe, and see if he composed and sung extempore, upor hearing is 110$ welcomed like a prince in every fashionable circle. Is it not dress that makes him a lady sing an Ode of Anuchreon, in the gentleman: Is it not me that regulates the

original Greek, fashions? I, therefore, must be a gentleman, as well as a man of fashion. Can any man, I would thc Toian bard were here, who is not well clothed by me, clothe the best

To taste of bliss, indeed, dirino; story in the world so as to be reckoned a wit in

Well might lie quit the starry sphere, polite company? And will not the most threadbare joke, uttered by one whom I have thus

To hear those liquid uotes of thive. qualitied, convulse the very same circle with laughter? I am, therefore, the maker of wit, What, through to pleasure's wildest dream and must, of course, be a man of wit. Shall I, His festive harp was often strung; then, who can do all these great things, be "Twas wino inspir'd the maddening theme, cast off and despised, like an old garment, the

And frenzy mark'd the straius ke sung. instant I quit my shop-board? Shall I, who am not only a man, but a man of consequence; not only a man of consequence, but a man of

And if perchance to wake the lyre, importance; not only a man of importance, but

To gentler tones his fancy strove, a man of valour; not only a man of valour, but What could the danes of Greece inspires a gent).- aan; not only a gentleman, but a mau Of soft or passionate in love? of wit; be bawled after, by every shabby, ragged rascal, whenever 1 fetch a walk with Mrs. Oh! could be hear those notes so gay, Suip, my daughter Dolly, or some favorite girl Look! there goes Snip, the taylor; the

And gaze on that enchanting forin, ninth part of a man!", and when I mount my

A swerter strain would grace his lay, nag, just to take an airing in the dust ot' Hyde A brighter flame his bosoma warm. Park, like my customers, see every one turning finger-post, and hear them cry-"Twig the

The warmth that Beauty's glance inspires, tailor riding to Brentford!" while a wag slily contrives to make a slip of paper resembling a

Would breathe thro' each impassiou'd me measure, dangle from my pocket: Shall i,

And taught by Love's resistless fires, who know 30 well how to live, and how to live

His song would catch a grace from thias well too, be thus made weary of my life or even my livelihood, by a set of ragamutins ? Poets

Sweet songstress, strike the lyra again, and philosophers prate, that a bare bodkin will

While captive licearts the stran approx auint us : a bare bruech! I was going to say,

Tis sweet to hear, but alı! 'ris sib ditaniet the dail??

To see thee and forbear to love.

swear;

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Sonnets.

“Good people," he holloa'd, “ your eyes now

unfold, To SIMPLICITY.

" And say if, within, any thing you behold ?"'

When one, who stood aext, straight replied, with O! I do love thee, meek SIMPLICITY !

some gallFor of thy lays the lulling simpleness

“ What is there to see, where there's nothing at Gues to my heart, and soothes each small distress, all ?" Distress tho'small, yet haply great to me! “ Ah! that is the Devil !the wag said, I *T'is true, on lady Fortune's gentiest pad tamble on; yet, tho' I know not why;

To open one's purse, and to see-nothing there!" So sad I am!--but should a friend and I

I, C. S. Grow cool and miff, 0! I am very sad ! And then with sonnets and with sympathy

PETER BONCOEUR; Hy dreary bosom's mystic woes I pail;

OR, Vox of my false friend plaining plaintively,

TIE FISHERMAN's LAW-SUIT. lov raviog at mankind in general; But whether sad or fierce, 'tis simple all,

By the side of the sea, in a village obscure, til very simple, week Simplicity!

There liv'd an old fellow, wam'd Peter BoncorHT, NEHEau IliggiXBOTTOM.

Who was free to his neighbours, and good to the

poor,

Catching fish was his trade;
ON A RUINED HOUSE IN A ROMANTIC

And all people said,
COUNTRY.

That mischief to nuiiiar but fish he design'd: Ayo this rest house is that, the which he built,

To ev'ry thing else, he was candid and kind. Lamented Jack! And here his malt he pil'd,

One day, as he went to the brink of the lake, Cautious in vain! These rats that sqeak so wild, Persuading the fishes thuir dinners to take, Squeak, not unconscious of their father's guilt.

The last he intended they ever should make; Did ye not see her gleaming thro' the glade!

While his hooks he employ'd to their sorrow and Belike, 'twas she, the maiden all forlorn. What tho' she milk no cow with cruinpled hori,

A grunting he heard in the waters below: Yet, aye, she haunts the dale where erst she

And casting his eye to the bottom--for here, stray'd;

We'll suppose that the water was perfectly clearAnd, aje, beside her stalks her amorous knight!

He saw, on the bed of the liquid profound,

An unfortunale wight, who was drowning, or Still on his thighs their wonted brogues are worn,

drowo'd. And thro' those brogues, still tatter'd and betörn, His lindward charms glean an earthly white;

That the man to the surface once more iniziat

ascend, As shen thro' broken clouds at night's high noon

He took up his pole with a hook at the end : Peeps in fair fragments forth the full-orb'd har

Then to it he fell,
vest moon!

And manag'd so well,
Ibid.

That soon to the margin the carcase was drawn;
And who should it prove, but his old neighbour

John.
Tales.

Now, somehow or other, it popp'd in his head,
That, in spite of his drowning, the man wasn't

dead; TIIE MOUNTEBANK AND TIIE DEVIL.

And, while he was thinking what means to devise, A Mountebank once, it is said, at a fair,

That his friend might recover, and open kis eyes, To make tho wise gentry that crowded it stare,

He saw, with vexation and sorrow, no doubt, Protested, in spite of the Church's decree, That, in lugging him up, he one eye had put out. That whoever chose it the Devil should see. However, persuaded, by what he had hoard, So uncommon a sight who could think to forego? That the man might he living, for aught that apTie Devil seem'd in them, they all scramblod so! pear'd, twile, with mouth very wide, an old purse, very To his cottage he took him, and there had him. long,

bled, Was bed out by this sore'rer, and shook to the Rubb'd, rolld on a barrel, and put into bed: thrung

So, in less than a week-to his praise bo it said

woe,

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Yes, in less then a week, the poor man was as But if, after plunging and louneing about, sound,

He drowns in the water, and never gets out, Excepting the loss of his eye, and the wound, Why, then, it is justice, it must be confessid, Asif, in his life, he had never been drown'd. That Peter forthwith be discharg'd from arregt

But, when John had grown able to travel about, . Absolu'd from all punishment due to the wound, He felt sadly chagrin'd that his eye was put out; And paid into the bargain, 'cause John wasn't And, forgetting the service his neighbour had

drowp'd!"
done him,

The audience was struck with a world of sur-
Went off to a Lawyer, and clapp'd a writ on him; prise,
Talk'd much of the value of what he had lost; To think that a fool should give council so wise:
That Peter must pay all the damage and cost; The Judges, themselves, the said sentence es-
And if with that sentence he did not comply,

spous'd, He swore he would have his identical eye!

And freely consented that Joho should be sous d. That Peter was vex’d, we need hardly to say ; Jolo finding that matters had ta'on a wrong Yet he urg'd what he could, in a moderate way;

turn), Declar'd to the Judges, by way of defence,

Nor waiting to see if the court would adjourn, That the action was wrought without malice Sneak'd out of the hall, with a hiss of disgrace, prepense;

In dread least the sentence should quickly tale o That his conscience excus'd him for what he had

place. done ;

Grown pliant, at last, the vile cause he withThat Fortune alone was to blame; and that

drew; John

His plea was so bad, and his friends were so few. Might have thought himself happy, when Death

"Twas needless, he thought, on the cast of a die,
was so uigh,

To venture his life, for the sake of an eye,
To purchase his life with the loss of an eye!
And concluded, 'twas better to give up the suit,

tot That the loss of an eye was a serious affair,

Than risk the one left, and be drowned to boot; Was certain; and, yet, he'd be bold to declare,

While Peter deelar'd, if he e'er again found | That a man who can shew but one eye in his head

His neighbour lay drowning, he'd let hjx ba
Is better, by far, than a man that is dead.

drown'd!
In answer to all the defendant's fine pleading,
John said, he had never yet found, in his reading,
A law, or a custom, or senator sage,

THE TWIN-BROTHERS OF MEZZO

RANIA.
A people, or nation, in whatever age,
Permitting, unpunish's, by force or surprise,

[Translated from the German.]
One neighbour to put out his next neighbour's
eyes.

Amidst the extensive wilds of Africa, there
The Lawyers and Judges were all at a stand, lies a territory, the inhabitants of which are as
Which way to conclude on the matter in hand ; numerous, and even as civilized, as the Chinese:
Till a half-witted fellow, who chanc'd to be there, they are called the Mezzoranians.
1 Undertook to decide on this weighty affair :

Two twin-brothers of this country, which is

still hur little known to onr geographers, were And cried -" Can you doubt, in a case that's so

enamoured of a young lady who equally fa

voured both. The two lovers, and the fair Be guided by me, and you'll ne'er doubt again!

one chanced to meet together at the festival in" The plea of the plaintiff rests wholly on this: stituted in honour of the Sun. This festival In fishing bini ur, sirs, Jolin takes it amiss was solemnized twice in the year; because, as That Peter man uvred with so little skill, the kingdom lies between the two tropics, yet So awkwardly fumbled, and manag'd so ill,

somewhat more on this side the line, it has two As then, with his bungling, to ruin John's look,

springs and two summers. At the cominenceAnd put out his eye with the point of his look.

ment of every spring season, this adoration is

paid to the great luminary throughout all the Well! now, my Lords Judges, attend my decree:

nomes or districts of the land. It is celebrated Straightway let the plaintiff be thrown in the sea; in the open air, to denote that the Sun is the And if, after reposing awhile at the bottoin, immediate cause of all the productions of nature. He gets out, alone too, from where Peter got him, They make an offering to it of five small pyraSafe, sound, and undamag d—why, then, 'tis

mids of frankincense, in golden dishes. Fire my sentence,

youths, and an equal number of virgins, are That Peter be punish'd, and brought to repeat the altar, where they remain till the five has

named by the magistrate, to place them on ence ;

consumed them. - Each of these young persons

plain?

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