66

and in the end prevailed. The dean, whose soul was the seat of compassion, now felt and was determined to alleviate her misery.-He every moment expected the servant to enter with the paper; but to his surprise and indig tion, an hour elapsed, and the man did not present it. The day was cold and wet, and the wretched petitioner still retained her station, with many an eloquent and anxious look at the house. The benevolent divine lost all patience, and was going to ring the bell, when he observed his servant cross the street, and return the paper with the utmost sang froid and indifference. Rightly judging the case, he threw up the sash, and demanded loudly what the paper contained. "It is a petition, please your reverence," replied the woman. Bring it up, rascal," cried the enraged dean. The surprised and petrified servant obeyed. With Swift, to know was to pity,-to pity to believe. The poor woman was instantly made happy, and the servant almost as instantly turned out of doors, with the following written testimonial of his conduct:-"The bearer lived two years in my service, in which time he was frequently drunk, and negligent of his duty, which, conceiving him to be honest, I excused; but at last, detecting him in a flagrant instance of cruelty, discharged him." Such was the consequence of this paper, that, for seven years, the fellow was an itinerant beggar; after which, the dean forgave him; and in consequence of another paper equally singular, he was hired by Mr. Pope, with whom he lived till death removed him.

MARSHAL VILLARS, upon the death of the Duke of Vendome, in Lewis the 14th's time, was made Governor of Provence in his room; and when the marshal went to take possession of his new government, the deputies of the province made him a present of a purse full of louis d'ors; but the person who had the honor to present it, said to him, "Here, my lord, is such another purse as that we gave to the Duke of Vendome, when, like you, he came to be our governor; but the prince, after accepting it as a testimony of our regard for him, very generously returned it."-"Oh!" cried Villars, squeezing the purse into his pocket, "Monsieur Vendome was a most surprising man; he has not left his fellow behind him.'

ALEXANDER AND THE PIRATE.Alexander demanded of a pirate, whom he had taken, "By what right he infested the seas?" "By the same right," replied he boldly, "that you enslave the world.—But I am called a robber, because I had only one small vessel; and you are stiled a conqueror, because you command great fleets and armies." This reply of the pirate furnished ample scope for reflection; for it is, we apprehend, an undeniable truth, that we too often judge of men by the splendor and not by the merit of their actions.

SIR GODFREY KNELLER.-The reason Kneller gave for not painting historical subjects was The painters of history make the dead

this:

live, but do not begin to live themselves til they are dead. On the contrary, I paint the living, and they make me live." "It is very well known that Sir Godfrey Kneller and Jervas were rivals in the art of portrait-painting; at least Sir Godfrey was weak enough to look on Jervas with a jealous eye, for Jervas kept his carriage and four horses, and lived in a higher style than Kneller One day, at a dinner party, some person saw Jervas passing along the road, and informed Kneiler of it, as also of the pomp which accompanied him. "Ah! ah!" said Sir Godfrey, "By Got, if his horses draw him no better dan he draw himself, hewill never get to his journey end." The town residence of Sir Godfrey Kneller was in Bow-street, Covent-garden, and he had, for his next door neighbour, the celebrated Dr. Radcliffe. Kneller was fond of flowers, of which he had a beautiful variety, and the Doctor having the same taste, obtained leave to open a door into the Painter's garden. The Physician's household being badly governed, his servants took unbecoming libertes on the premises of Kneller, who made many fruitless complaints to their master. The evil still continuing in spite of every remonstrance, Sir Godfrey sent his man one day, to let Radcliffe know that he should be obliged to brick up the passage; to which the cynic replied, with his accustomed asperity,

Let him do what he will with the door, ex

cept painting it!" The servant was at first unwilling to communicate the exact language of the answer, but Kneller insisted on knowing it, and retorted" Did my good friend say so Den go back, and tell him from me, I will take any ting from him but physic."

Bon Mots.

A late Attorney-General receiving a client, who was intimate with him, in his library, the Gentleman expressed surprise at the number of "Yes; there are wigs that were hanging up. several (replied the Barrister.) That (pointing to a scratch) is my common business wig; that my Chancery wig; that my House of Lords wig; and that my Court wig." And pray, Sir, where is your honest man's wig?" “0, (replied the Lawyer) that's not professional."

An Irishman purchased the sixteenth of a lottery-ticket, for which, as they were very high, he paid a guinea and a half. In a few days it came up a twenty pound prize, and on application at the lottery-office, he received three and twenty shillings for his share. "Well, (says Pat) I'm glad it's no worse; as it was but a twenty pounds, I have only lost eight shillings and sixpence; but if it had been a twenty thousand, I must have been ruined."

A player performing the Ghost in Hamlet very badly, was hissed; after bearing it a good while, he put the audience into good humour, by stepping forward and saying " Ladies and

Centlemen, I am extremely sorry that my humble endeavours to please are unsuccessful; but if you are not satisfied, I must give up the Ghost."

At the establishment of volunteer corps, a certain Corporation agreed to form a body, on condition that they should not be obliged to quit the country. Their proposal was submitted to Mr. Pitt, who said, he had no objection to the terms, if they would permit him to add, "ercept in the case of invasion."

Dr. Franklin used pleasantly to repeat an observation of his negro servant, when the doctor was making the tour of Derbyshire, Lancashire, &c.-"Every ting, massa, work in this country; water work; wind work; fire work; smoke work; dog work; (he had be fore noticed the last at Bath) man work; ballock work; horse work; ass work; every ting work here but the hog; he eat, he drink, he sleep, he do nothing all day, he walk about like a gentleman.

The grand jury of the county of Tipperary, in Ireland, had lately under consideration the propriety of building a new county goal, and came to the following resolutions, which were pablished in the newspapers.-1st. Resolved, that the present gaol is insufficient, and that another ought to be built.-2nd. Resolved, that the materials of the old gaol be employed in constructing the new one.-3d. Resolved, that the old gaol shall not be taken down until

the new one be finished.

Miss Somerville, the actress, though playing by her maiden name, is married to a Mr. Bunn. In allusion to this appellation, and her recent dispute with Miss O'Neill, the newspapers, not inaptly, remarked, that by her anger and disappointment, she reminded

them of a hot cross'd Bun !!!

Characters.

PRINCE OF ORANGE.-"This prince, (Manrice) was cast in a mould suitable to the temper of his people; he is slow and full of wariness, and not without a mixture of fear; I do not mean pusillanimous, but politic fear: he is the most constant in the quotidian course and carriage of his life, of any that I have ever heard or read of; for whosoever knows the customs of the Prince of Orange, may tell what he is a doing here every hour of the day, though he be in Constantinople. In the morning he awaketh about six, in smer, and seven, in winter; the first thing he doth, he sends one of his grooms, or pages, to see how the wind sits, and he wears or leaves off his waistcoat accordingly; then he is about an hour dressing him self, and about a quarter of an hour in bis closet; then comes in the secretary, and if

he hath any private or publie letters to write, or any other dispatches to make, he doth it before he stirs from his chamber then comes he abroad, and goes to his stables, if it be no sermon-day, to see some of his gentlemen or pages, (of whose breeding he is very careful) ride the great horse. He is very accessible to any that have business with him, and sheweth a winning kind of familiarity, for he will shake hands with the meanest boor of the country, and he seldom hears any commander or gentleman twelve, and his table is free for all comers, with his hat on: he dines punctually about but none under the degree of a captain useth to sit down at it: after dinner he stays in the room a good while, and then any one retires to his chamber, where he answers all may accost him, and tell his tale: then he petitions that were delivered him in the morning, and towards the evening, if he goes not to council, which is seldom, he goes either to make some visits, or to take the air abroad; and according to this constant method he passeth his life".-Hower's Letters; June, 1619.

THE SLOVEN.-*** He was always remarkable for his slovenly appearance and disregard of dress. On one occasion, when invited by a noble relative to meet a person of high official distinction, in Ireland, at dinner, the nobleman, aware of his nephew's negligence in this particular, ventured to hint he must come dressed. He was in consequence busily employed at his toilet, when a servant announced that a friend had called in his carriage to take him whither he was going. He hastened himself accordingly, but instead of putting on his dress silk stockings, stuffed them into his pocket, and hurrying down the stairs, got into his friend's conveyance. When they arrived at the nobleman's door, he remarked that he had been desired to come dressed, and thought himself very smart. At this moment, one of the silk stockings appeared hanging halfway out of his pocket, and he exhibited the singular appearance of being in a full court dress with a very dirty pair of worsted hose. Fortunately he had time to repair his inadvertence, by retiring to a private room, and adjusting his habiliments. Upon another occasion, no less important than that of attending one of the state-dinners of the Speaker of the House of Commons. our friend, as was indeed usually the case, finding himself too late, and not being able to divest himself very easily of his fashionable leather-breeches, drew over them a thin pair of black silk. In the progress of the evening, however, the leathers, deter mining to preserve their ascendancy, worked themselves down a considerable way below the black silk, till they attracted universal notice, and excited general mirth.-(Sexagenarian.)

ON THE SHAKSPEAREAN JUBILEE, Respectfully inscribed to the Stewards and Committee of the Anniversary Festival, celebrated in Commemoration of the Second Century from the Death of WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.

--

BY MR. BISSET.

"O! thou Goddess,

Thou DIVINE NATURE, how thyself thon blazonest In this most wonderful and matchless child."

To favor a child, on whose mind DIVINE NATURE, Stamp'd all that was rich and was rare;

At his birth, Jove commanded this innocent creature

Should be nurs'd in an isle free and fair. The Muses' and Graces' intelligent faces

Beam'd bright when they heard Jove's command,

To Britain they flew, for Old England they knew Was ordain'd as the thrice happy Land.

O'er the dust of the dead, laurel bays, freely spread,

Crown his tomb with all due veneration. Thrice bless'd be the isle which to Shakspeare gave birth,

Thrice bless'd be Avona's soft stream, Thrice blessed be Warwick's fam'd shire, where the Bard

"On themes more than mortal would dream.” Thrice hallow'd the spot of the Bard's humble cot, Thrice honour'd be NATURE, who gave Such rare gifts to the man, who of Bards led the

van,

Rever'd be his CRADLE and GRAVE!!!

* It is a remarkable circumstance, that Shakspeare died on the same day of the year in which he was born.-Aged 52.

Just Censure.

zeal,

To conduct them from regions on high; Whilst Iris her pinions display'd head and heel,

Who were honour'd as guides through the sky; Near that fam'd spot of earth, where a Shakspeare had birth,

They alighted by Avon's soft stream," Where they found the dear chill, who in extacy smil'd,

As he lay on its banks in a dream.

Around him, some thousands of elfins and fairies Their gambols fantastic display'd,

Who, whilst he slept soundly, saw all their vagaries; His mind's eye no mist could pervade;

UNDER SOME INFAMOUS VERSES.

When DRYDEN's elown, unknowing what he

sought,

His hours in whistling spent, for want of thought,
The guiltless fool his vacancy of sense
Supplied, and amply too, by innocence.
Did modern swains, possess'd of CYMON's pow'rs,
In CYMON's manner waste their weary hours,
Th' indignant trav'ller would not blushing see
This chrystal pane disgrac'd by infamy!

Severe the fate of modern fools, alas!
When vice and folly mark them as they pass:
Like pois nous vermin, o'er the whiten'd wall,

woke,

Then in accents romantic, yet mild,

With his hands on his breast, his best thanks he

express'd,

There lisping his first "wood notes wild."

As in stature he grew, he in wisdom advanc'd,
To such height as no Bard ever soar'd;
Round new mystic orbs his bright fantasy danc'd,
"He the regions of fancy explor`d."—

As a comet on earth, from the time of his birth,
*To the day of his death he's accounted;
All nations agree, we shall ne'er his like see,"
No mortal has Shakspeare surmounted!

Rever'd be the season a Shakspeare appear'd,
Rever'd be the day of his birth;

Ever sacred the day, which two centuries since,
Snatch'd "the pride of all nature" from earth.
The Muses comman; that a Jubilee grand,
Should be held for its commemoration;

crawl.

WRITTEN ON A WAINSCOT.

O wretched wainscot, bound t'receive,
Such wit as blockheads choose to leave!
Which still must boar, whoe'er indites 'em,
Lines heavier than the lead that writes 'em!
Let them write on, the wainscot cries,
Thank heav'n, I've neither ears nor eyes;
And for their wit, I'd rather bear it,
Than sit, like you, to read or hear it:
Besides, to cure me of all sorrow,
My friend, the dish-clout, comes to-morrow.

Literature

A YEAR IN LONDON.

It will create a smile to read the account of English manners given by a Frenchman, who

on the authority of a short residence, takes upon himself to describe and to expose our peculiarities. A little volume entitled, "A Year in London," gives the following account of a publie Tavern Dinner:

Few days pass in London without public Linners. Our traveller acquainted a Portuguese Jew, long established in London, of ile desire he had to make one at this kind of entertainment, " Nothing is so easy. How do you see Westminster Abkey?" I pay a shilling at every door they open for me. How do you see St. Paul's, the Tower, the Crown Jewels?"- "The same way: 1 pay." "You see, then, in London, you have only to pay; you must, however, take care to have your name put down two days before, for decency's sake, that you may not have the appearance of going to a Table d'Hote; but I will put you down for one that is to take place to-morrow."

Each having paid 15s. entrance, says our traveller, we were introduced into a large dining room, surrounded by tables that were only covered with a cloth; there were at the top of the room about six vacant places, but we were told they were for the singers; twelve or fifteen persons, who, like ourselves, had arrived a little too late, walked about in the middle of the room. At length we were invited into another room, much less than the first, and where tables were set in the same manner to ac

commodate about 40 persons. A waiter brought soup and a heap of plates; he who was nearest took possession, and distributed it to those nearest him, before a second tureen was placed at the other end of the table, and that also disappeared before the arrival of a third, This soup is called mock turtle, that is, pieces of calfs head and ox tails floating in the water in which they are dressed, and has no flavour but pepper, which had not been spared. Soon after the table was covered with a profusion of roast and boiled meat, and every one began to hack at the same time and vegetables boiled in water, the only sauce given them in this country, I had hardly finished my plate of mock turtle, when it was loaded with a wing of a boiled fowl ; an enormous piece of roast beef, a slice of hot ham, a potatce, two carrots, and leaves of boiled, Lut not chopped spinach, compleated the pyrmid. No one thought of drinking, for the English in general are not thirsty till no longer hungry; in about a quarter of an hour they cleared away, and put down apple tarts, in comparison of which our village pastry are models of excellence, some salads eaten without seasoning, and cheese to which some added mustard and salt; they then placed before each guest a bottle of red wine, or sherry, as he preferred; hardly was this done, when five or six persons rose from the table, carrying in one hand their glass, in the other their bottle; every one imitated them, I followed and did as the others, and we found purselves in the great room, shoved by a

crowd of waiters who were clearing away. Oranges and nuts were brought, which my companions below often pillaged before they arrived at their destination; at last, after having been squeezed, pushed, and elbowed, for half an hour, we succeeded in obtaining some seats in the middle of the room, each having his bottle between his knees and glass in his hand. After every health one of the singers amused the company with a song, a pause of some minutes ensued and the saine thing was repeated.

Nothing can be more ridiculous than this narrative he certainly never found ox-tails swimming in mock-turtle. That at tavern dinners vegetables are boiled plain is true-but in what society, of the very lowest order, could he see boiled fowl, roast beef, hain, &c. &c. all heaped together in one plate? He goes on to say, that oysters are only eaten in Loudon at supper-except on one day in the year, that is the first day of their arrival-" then all the world eat them, because there is an universal popular prejudice that eating oysters on the first day will bring them good fortune through out the year!" This is the first we ever heard of such a prejudice.

• dil

"Twill be a kind of miracle. A celebrated Wit, having heard from a gentleman at table the quotation from Pope, honest man's the noblest work of God" made answer, "Yes, that may possibly be true, but it is a piece of workmanship that nobody ever saw complete.”

BILLS IN CHANCERY.-Whether Law has its pleasures; and if it hath, what, and how many they are; and if not, why not?-Such of our Readers as may doubt the propriety of this form of interrogation, and may not have read a Bill in Chancery, we refer to the files of the Court, where they will find much entertainment.