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FOR THE EDITOR.
qucen said to him, “I hear you have taken downwards to my coat and pantaloons, exs our part against your countryman.”—“ Ma. pressed, as plainly' as a look could speak, that dam," replied Montesquieu,“ who can imagine I was no better than a Dandy. that the country over which you reign is not a I should be glad, however, of an impartial
opinion upon my case, and would be thankful
, at the same time, for some information on the
real nature and character of this frightful comWumour.
plaint, showing why it is so much worse and
more malignant than Buckism, which once THE OATH.
raged very much in this town, and, indeed, is
said to have infected some of those who are “Do you," said Fanny, t'other day,
now the greatest despisers of Dandyism. " In earnest love me as you say ?
I am, sir, yours, &c. " Or are these tender words applied
TELEPHUS. " Alike to fifty girls beside ?" · Dear, cruel girl," said I, “ forbear-
THE ADVANTAGE OF TRAVELLING. “ For by these cherry lips I swear"She stopp'd me as the oath I took,
FROM THE LATIN OF THEODORE BEZA.
Tollende cupidus Spurinna prolis, &c.
SPURINNA, longing for an heir,
To all the saints in holy page,
Resolv'd upou a pilgrimage.
And vow'd to Jacob* on his knees; fortunate class called Dandies. Of late my apprehensions have become so strong, in conse
The Alps he cross'd (so says the metre), quence of many significant winks and shrugs
And did the same to Paul and PETER; directed at me in the streets, that I am losing
Nor by the Adriatic stay'd, my sleep and my appetite, and can no longer Our Lady of LORETTO pray'd; forbear to give my, symptoins publicity, and And, careless of the ocean's brine, submit them for advice. In the first place, I He journey'd on to PALESTINE ; perceive that the waist of my great coat is a
Then on a camel, as they tell, few inches shorter than is customary with law
He cross'd the sands,+ as bot as hell, yers, physicians, quakers, and methodist par. sons; to which I must add, that, instead of And panting reach'd the sacred shrine folding me round like a bed-gown, as I believe
Devoted to Sr. Catherine. it generally does with persons of more respec
Would'st know what all this labour earn'd} table character, it unhappily sits close to my He found three boys when he return'd! shape, and shows, I am afraid, the exact contour of my figure. You will observe, too, that
* Saint Jacob, of Compostella. I am young, and not ill-made--circumstances
+ Of Arabia. that, I understand, contribute very much to
# On Mount Sinai. wards incurring the reproach of Dandyism.
I have observed, in the next place, that my trowsers are rather large; but i solemnly dea
THE DYING JACK KETCH. ciare that this is the fault exclusively of my tailor. He had no directions to deviate, in any JACK KETci, worn down with age and sin, . respect, from the ordinary cut; yet I have lately And half burnt out with stinking gin, taken occasion to inspect the legs of the Rer. Stretch'd on his bed of hay and straw, Dr. Bandy, and Mr. Josiah Broorstick, both With whining tongue and feeble jaw, customers at the same shop, and nothing can be more dissimilar than the air of their panta- In words like these_“ There's no relief
Gave vent at length to all his grief, loons, and that of mine.
What gives me most alarm, however, is my The warrant's sign’d, and Sheriff Death hair.-It is of a fine colour, thick and curling, Will soon demand my fleeting breath. and prolongs itself into a vigorous whisker. I Adieu to halters now, aud fees, an too well aware that this alone is almost To lanterns dark, and picklock keys, enough to ruin me in the estimation of all so
And all such windfalls; thrice farewell, ber, smooth-faced people; and I saw, the other day, a grave-looking gentleman, with a fine I soon shall sleep in my cold cell. bald head, surveying my luckless pericranium Ye Resurrection-men, lament, with a look of great contempt, which, passing And, if you've time, like me repent
Lainent, I say—and on my bier,
who invited his relation, Mr. John Russell, to In pity, drop one iron tear.
wait upon the archduke. Philip was so much I've sold you bargains at prime cost,
pleased with the polite manners and cultivated
talents of Mr. Russell, who had a thorough By which, you know yourselves, I've lost :
knowledge of both the French and German As I'm reduc'd to skin and bone,
languages, that, on arriving at court, he reI hope that you'll let me alone
commended him to the notice of Henry the SeThere's not a surgeon in the town,
venth, who immediately sent for him to his I'm sure would give you half-a-crown
palace, where he remained in great tivour till I say again, there is not one
the king's death. In the estimation of Henry For my poor carcase, when I'm gone.
the Eighth he rose still higher; that monarch
made him Baron Russell, of Cheneys, in the My son lies heavy on my breast;
county of Bucks, and during the reign of his Of all my breed I lov'd him best,
successor, he was created Earl of Bedford. , I thought to teach him all my arts,
PERSIAN PEDESTRIANISM.-There are no And fondly hop'd that he had parts;
general posts in Persia, but if a person has lek But all his parts are gone to pot
ters to send, he dispatches tliem by a shatir, The running noose, the artful knot,
or footman, who will travel a thousand miles Which I with flying fingers tyd
in eighteen days, for which he is remunerated
with about six and thirty shillings. The king Were lost on bim—he had no pride,
retains a numerous body of these footmen, As my successful heir to shine,
among whom before a candidate can be enrollThe first of artists in my line.
ed, he is compelled to undergo the severest triMy fame is known to old and young,
als of his speed, and must perform upwards of Nay, 'twas a pleasure to be hung
100 miles within about 13 hours. By one like me, that had the knack
NewSPAPERS.--Newspapers owe their birth To do my business in a crack
to Italy, and under the government of Venice. My customers in Thieving-lane
The first publication of this sort was called a
Gazetta, as Menage conjectures, from the name Will never see my like again.
of a little coin for which it was primitirely But woe is me! my stupid son
sold. This etymology, however, has been forI plainly see that he's undone:
cibly opposed, and another substituted in its The dance will die not worth a groat
stead, from which we gather that, in the lanIf he had talents, as I thought,
guage known to have been the Italian of past
days, the Latin word, guka, would colloquially He might have lir'd in ease and fame,
lengthen, in the diminutive, to gazetta, and, And left, like me, a glorious name.”
as applied to a newspaper, signity a little treasury of intelligence.
T'he first newspaper published in England, Impromptu.
was entitled the « English Mercury," and da
ted July 28, 1588, a copy of which is remainOx LAVALETTE'S EXECUTION IN
ing in the British Museum, EFFIGY.
In 1622, a private newspaper, called the
Weekly Courant," was printed in London. Cries LAVALETTE, “ They all tell me,
In 1639, a newspaper was printed by Robert
Barker, at Newcastle. I have been hang'd in FIG:
The “Gazette” was first published at Oxford, Why, be it so :—for this fine rig,
August 22, 1642. Hang me if I shall care a fig."
The first daily paper after the Revolution, was called the “Orange Intelligence," and
from thence to 1692, there were 26 similar Miscellanies.
SUPERSTITION. ANCESTRY.—The Russell family may date HELEN MATTARANGA, a native of Zante, the era of their greatness from a violent storm, aged twenty years, witnessed the decease of a which happened about the year 1500, on the young man to whom she had devoted her coast of Dorset, a county which appears to heart, and wished to have given her hand. have been the birth-place of their ancestors, Her parents, however, from interested motives, one of whom was constable of Corfe Castle in had compelled her to inarry another. The the year 1521. Philip, archduke of Austria, night after his interment, Helen imagined (for son of the Emperor Maximilian, being on a sensibility is too often the parent of superstivoyage to Spain, was obliged, by the fury of tion) that the phantom of lier lover stood in a sudden tempest, to take refuge in the har- silence at the foot of her bed. She conceived bour of Weymouth. He was received on shore, at once that his soul was in purgatory, and and accommodated by Sir Thomas Tranchard, instituted two masses for its deliverance. The
apparition still continued, and her heated fancy Is not your fortune still more bright, suggested the following means of securing its Ye Brighton Donkies, say? repose. One night, while her husband was
Ye carry spirits every night, at a neighbouring village, she rose, took a
And Angels all the day! hammer and nails, went bare-footed to the burial-ground, raised the body from its coffin,
ON THE DEATH OF THE HOTTENTOT and, notwithstanding its putrified state, embraced it repeatedly, bathed it with her tears,
VENUS, AT PARIS.. and drove fonir large nails through the feet and hands. Having thus fastened it to the earth, The Venus of Medicis scarcely had started, she returned home, passed the night in tran- When, Paris, alas! your next Venus departed, quillity, and found the spectre from that time So no end to your losses you find : had discontinued its visits. Helen had been Well may you in sackcloth and ashes deplore, imprudent enough, however, to trust this secret with a false friend, and would have been Por Vonus the first had no equal before,
Nor had Venus the second behind. punished with death for having outraged a human corpse, had not the affair been suppressed
SOBER CHURCHMAN.–A certain Dean was by judicial interference.
remarkable for dealing out the wine at his table OLD ADAGE. " The king of France, with forty thousand men,
sparingly. One day when he entertained a "March'd up a hill and then march'd down again.” party of his clerical brethren to dinner, after France, in the latter days of Henry the the bottle, he told some long stories, and among
the cloth was reinoved, instead of pushing about Great, had enjoyed a peace of more than twen
them detailed the wonderful exploits of a blind ty years in duration, when that monarch, en
nian, adding, that he knew the man could tertaining some great martial design, the na
see no more than that bottle," pointing to the ture of which has never been divulged, levied
only one upon table.
“ Nor have we, my very an army of 40,000 men, which he equipped reverend dean," said a facetious prebeni prefor action in the most splendid manner. His assassination by Ravillac soon after took place, three hours."
sent, "any of us seen more than that boltle tliese and this body having been disbanded without
LEGAL DIFFICULTY.-Judge Garrow, in the performing a solitary exploit, gave rise to the satirical saying with which the present article
gross examination of a prevaricating old female is healed. See Howel's Letters ; anno 1620. witness, by which it was essential to prove
that a tender of money had been inade,-had a
thrown to him from a counsel Puns.
on the other side, on which was written,
Garrow,----submit;-- that tough old jade,
Can never prove-a tender maid!
THE BABEL BONNET.
Abroad had lovely Myra becii,
And all the Continent had seen,
With what's most strange upon it;
And when returud to England's slore,
Upon her head fair Myra bore
A Tower, and not a bonnct.
Her language was a modish speech
Of many tongues, beyond the reach
Of simple native power ;
And since her tongue, confus'd and mix'd,
Resembled Babel's toogues, she fix'd TO THE DONKIES OF BRIGHTON,
Above it Babel's Tower. Engaged alternately in Smuggling und Lodycarrying
ON THE LATE WAR.
Whene'er contending Princes fight
For private pique, or public right,
Armies are rais'd, and fleets are mann'd,
To combat both by sea and land.
When, after many battles past,
give most significant hints that they would not Both, tir'd with blows, make peace at last,
dread the comparison. What is it, then, their subjecis get,
Many of them, whose pride has been swelled
to an unhappy degree by the ignorant praises of But Taxes, Wooden-legs, and Debt.
a private audience, mostly fit, as Hamleiobserves,
" for nothing but inexplicable dumb show and ADVICE TO THE KING OF SPAIN, noise," launch into life as actors in the country, On his working u Petticoat for the Virgin Mary. where you often behold them, the humblest of
the humble, deeming themselves happy even By Dr. Walcor, olim Peter PINDAR, Esq.
in the pity of surrounding strangers. Great King, the newspapers declare,
LORD CHESTERFIELD. Which puts me quite on the broad stare, (Tho' newspapers from truth too often vary,) To the King's most excellent Majesty, the kum.
ble Petition of Philip, Earl of Chesterfield, That you, dread sir, of needle note,
Knight of the most noble Order of the GurIlave work'd a pious petticoat,
ter, ģc. A hallow'd off'ring to the Virgin Mary. ShewETI!,—That your Petitioner, being ren. Why trick your Lady out so fine?
dered by deafness as useless and inefficient as
most of his cotemporaries are by nature, hopes Sbe Dever once went forth to dine,
in common with them, to share your Majesty's Nor play nor op'ra ever deiga d to grace ; royal favor and bounty, whereby he may be She Dever gave a single rout
enabled to save or to spend, as he
may think Vor een poor tea, and then turn out,
proper, a great deal more than he possibly can Nor at a bull-feast showed her holy face. at present.
That your Petitioner having had the honour Then heed the Bard:-Your state maintain, to serve your Majesty in several very lucrative Nor thus expose yourself again,
employments, steins thereby entitled to a luA standing jest for ev'ry saucy railer :
crative retreat from business, and to enjoy otium Bid superstition's flame expire
cum dignitate, that is, leisure and a large per
sion. Fiing all your needles in the fire
Your Petitioner humbly apprehends, that ke Or else give king-craft up, and turn a tailor. has a justifiable claim to a considerable pension,
as he neither wants, nor deserves, but only de. ANSWER.
sires (pardon, dread sir, an expression you are
pretty much used to) and insists upon it. Pster, I own your counsel's good,
Your Petitioner is little apt, and always unBut in this case must be withstood,
willing, to speak advantageously of biisselt'; To serve the ends of propagation ;
but as some degree of justice is due to one's self, For if this King, thou shrewd assailer,
as well as to others, he begs leave to represent,
that his loyalty to your Majesty has always Were ouce to turn an honest tailor,
been unshaken, even in the worst of times; "Twou'd thin the breed of ev'ry nation,
that particularly in the late unnatural rebellion, And thus 'tis pror'd, as you'll admit,
when the young Pretender had advanced as tar With truth at least, if not with wit:
as Derby, at the head of an army of at least
three thousand men, composed of the fower of Nine tailors, or we deeply wrong them, the Scotch nobility and gentry, who had virtue To make a man suffice, tho' few,
enough to avow, and courage enough to venBut eight would have that work to do,
ture their lives in support of, their real princiIf such a thing were thrust among them.
ples, your Petitioner did not join him, as unE. N. B.
questionably he might have done, had he been
so inclined; but, on the contrary, raised at the AMATEUR ACTORS.
public expense, sixteen companies of one hundred men each, in defence of your Majesty's
undoubted right to the Imperial Crown of these From their humble mcrit, you expect to find realms, which service remains to this hour unin them nothing but modesty and diffidence; rewarded. but you will be deceived upon close acquain Your Petitioner is well aware that
Ma. tance. A company composed of Garricks could jesty's Civil List must necessarily be in a very not talk more largely, or feel more proud of weak and languid condition, after the various their abilities, than the juvenile performers of a and profuse evacuations it has undergone; but private theatre. They severally boast of the at the same time he humbly hopes, that an arthundering claps they received in certain cha- gument which does not seem to have been urged racters, and on certain nights: they decide on against any other person whatsoever, will not the merits of our professional actors with unlim- in a singular manner be urged against him, ited confidence ; and, with disgusting arrogance, especially as he has some reasons to believe that.
the deficiences in the Pension 'List will by no without eflect. What could be the reason of al means be the last to be made good by Parlia- this? Nothing was more simple ; the animal ment.
had been bewitched. Your Petitioner begs leave to observe, that a To break the charm, therefore, a quantity of small pension is disgraceful, as it intimates op- images of saints of all kinds, chaplets, and a probrious indigence on the part of the receiver, large tub of holy water, were brought, the and a degrading sort of dole or charity on the animal was dragged under a gateway, his head part of the girer; but, that a great one implies being placed towards thechurch, where he was dignity and attluence on the one side ; on the loaded with rosaries, &c. while a toothless old other, esteem and considerationi; which doubt
woman, muttering a whole litanyofAve-Marias, less your Majesty must entertain in the highest attempted to exorcise him, aiter which they degree for those great personages whose repu- concluded by inundating him from head to table names glare in capitals upon your Elee- foot. In four hours the animal began to eat, mosynary List
. Your Petitioner humbly flatters and the next day was perfectly well. To exhimself
, that upon this principle less than three plain the mysteries of the sacred bath, permit thousand pounds a year will not be proposed me to observe that the mule exhibited certain to him, and if made gold, the more agreeable. symptoms ofa stranguary, and as cold is useful
Your Petitioner persuades himself that your in that complaint, the water thrown over him Majesty will not impute this his humble appli- had probably accelerated his cure. (Fisher's cation to any mean interested motive, of which Travels through Spain.) he has always had the utmost abhorrence.--No, sir! he confesses his weakness : honor alone is his object; honor is his rassion; that honor which is sacred to him as a peer, and tender to
Sonnets. him as a gentleman; that honor, in short, to which he has sacrificed all other considerations. ON BAMBOROUGII CASTLE.* It is upon this single principle that your Petitioner solicits an honor, which at present in
Ye holy towers, that shade the wave-worn steep, so extraordinary a manner adorns the British Long may ye rear your aged brows sublime, Peerage; and which, in the most shining pe Tho', hurrying silent by, relentless Time riods of ancient Greece, distinguished the great- Assail you, and the winter whirlwinds sweep! est men, who were fed in the Prytaneum at the
Far, far from blazing grandeur's crowded halls, expense of the Public.
Here Charity hath fix'd her chosen seat, Upon this honor, far dearer to your Peti
on list’ning fearful, when the wild waves beat, tioner than his life, he beg: leave, in the most solemn manner, to assure your Majesty, that With hollow bodings, round your ancien: walls! in case you shall be pleased to grant this his
And Pity, at the dark and stormy hour most modest request, he will honorably support
Of midnight, when the moon is hid on high, and promote, to the utmost of his abilities, the Keeps her lone watch upon the topmost tow't, very worst measures, that the very worst minis And turns her ear to each expiring cry; ters can suggest; but, at the same time, should Bless'd if her aid some fainting wretch might he unfortunately, and in a singular manner, be branded by a refusal, he thinks himsclf obliged And snatch him, cold and speechless, from the in honor to declare, that he will, with the utmost acrimony, oppose the very best measures
wave! which your Majesty yourself shall ever propose
* On the Yorkshire coast, where a hamade or promote.
establishment is maintained for the relief of shipAnd your Petitioner, &c.
Delightful gales, through murmuring foliage
straying, THE ENCHANTED MULE. That o'er my brow in sightless warfare leap;
Ye call to mind the wounds there's no allaying, -The next morning, when on the point of
The wounds which love once gave,-S0 sweet, setting out, it appeared that my mule had not eaten, and was sick. Immediately there was a
so deep; long consultation among all the carriers that
And that dear form which scorn and envy keep were about to teed their beasts, and most of them from these sad eyes; those locks with gems were of opinion we must give him rest; but the entwin'd, whole day past without witnessing his recovery. Or loos’d, down floating, in a golden sweep. He was washed with hot wine, had a dose of Ah! with what grace the ringlets she confinid physic administered, and a plaister applied; but with what a treinor still the picture fills my mind!