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But alas! I soon found the defects of my skill, of iny eyes with the dirt of his coat, opoz And my nostrums in practice prored treacherous

which I sneezed in his face, and mustered up still.

courage, and challenged him to box (for I was From life's certain ills 'twas in vain to seek ease,

then at all in the ring); but he thought fit 10 The remedy oft proved another disease.

send an apology the next morning by the What in rapture began, often ended in sorrow,

spuon. The latter is one of his chief leaders,

and his mother's name was Pearl. The bext And pleasure to-day brought retiection 10-inorrow.

to him is Mr. Vinegar, a sharp crabbed felWhen each action was over its errors were seen, low; I'wish he was mum.

The next is a genAnd I view'd with surprise the strange thing I had tleman I know little about, though I hear he been;

is connected with my family, as well as that of That at each other's failings both parties convivid; the latter gentleman. He possesses tiro very My body and mind were so oddly contriv'd. extraordinaey qualities, that of being hot and Imprudence of mind brought on sickness and pain, chilly at the same time. The pest is a dir. The body diseased paid the debt back again:

Sugar-caster (not Pollux) a hypocritical coxThus coupled together life's journey they pass'd,

comb, having a powdered head, with his eyes Till they wrangled and jangled, and parted at last; ladies and children; of an apparently sweet

placed on the top, and generally bowing to Thus wearied and worn out I've finishi'd my course, disposition, but in reality acid at bottom, and Am glad it is bed-time, and things are no worse. one who, vinegar-like, soinetimes creates in

lestine divisions. Humour.

Miss Oil, the last in rotation, is of a quiet

gentle disposition, and no ways related to the A LETTER FROM THE PEPPER BOX branch of the Olives, who I wish were better

family of the Castors, being derived from TO THE SILT BOX. My Dear Sal:-Not having an opportunity endeavoured to describe to you my situation;

known in Europe. Thus, my dear Sal, have I of approaching near enonglı yesterday, during and cannot help admiring you, who are te either dinner or supper, to speak to you, I have prevailed upon the coal-box, who has whose assistance every thing is insipid. To

sorted to by all persons of taste, and withof formed a coalition with the grate, and is now

be sure, the tax laid upon you lately was caller going to mend the parlour tire, to deliver this

a partial and Pitti-ful measure; but you may -letter into your saline hands. Its purpose is be assured it will only serve to make you more

tu congratulate you on your promotion from dear to the farmers, as well as to the public, the science of drudgery and pestilence to the exalted station you now hold on the chimney hope we shall soon mingle over the blade-luge

general. Adieu, my once crystallized-love

! I -piece, whence you can look down upon the of a shoulder of muiton, and, making a deri fire-shovel

, tongs, and poker, lolling at their of the cares of this life, crackle many an lae ease on the back of the tender, with all the togeiher on the grid-iron of felicity. Sir. Black contempt that such ironical sloth and luxury and Mr. Cayenne sent their red-hot loves; and can inspire, proceeding generally from sucłı I remain yours, with the greatest warunth, and polished persons.

at all seasons, As to my own part, I feel a sad reverse: clad

PEPPER-Box in niy bumble suit of tin, I stand npon the kitchen shelf with iny hand upon my side, subservient to the wit of every menial servant;

MR. DUVAL and, although I stare at them with all my eyes ** Etiquettc is the characteristicexcellence of good (which you know are pretty numerous), and

socicly." very frequently shake my head at them in a

LORD CHESTERFIELD. very violent and signiticant manner, yet they Though Fashions, they say, seldom lire to be regard me not, but rattle me abont, till I am

ancient, almost induced to cry out, “Seven's the main.' These insults generally commence about one

In Mr. Duval, they were found not so transient; o'clork, and continue until four, when I am The date of his school you might read in his dressed in a transparent suit of clothes, with a dress, silver cap, and put to stand round a may-pole But no modern could match him in strict polües! with five or six people of known taste, clad in

Not caring for substance, deroled to form, like manner, but of various properties and dis

In feelings quite cold, but in etiquette waria, positions. The first is a Mr. Mustard, who though esteemed rather thick and cluinsey: He held it an act of indelible shawe. and somewhat difficult of access, is neverthe. To speak to a person, unless by his namel* less, a sharp pungent sort of fellow at bottom, so much so, that he has been known to take

* This is perfectly according to the ennot:people by the nose who were not well-brcad to “ Never in speaking to a person, say Mr. Sal it. 'One day, on his return from the dinner d'ye call'um, or Mr. Thingumbob, bue ingine table, he presumed to bung up seren or eight his naine, and address him by it." – Chesterreic.

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One night at a latern sitting much at his ease, abuse which was heaped on the witnesses by

the Counsel on both sides, was sufficient to And, much as with form easy comfort agrees,

deter those from coming forcard who had facts He beheld, at the fire, a stranger display

to disclose;" and he remarked to the Jury, His back-coat up-turned—just you know, a

" that he did not join in the censure which was l'Anglais.

given to the witnesses.' Pie # 3 - He ey'd him-sonld speak-but how hit on the In the Court of Exchequer, some time ago, plan?

where a very respectable female was crossLong pond'ring, et length, le thus calmly began; examined, Baron George was obliged to interelle Will you favor me, pray, with your name Sir?" fere, and stopped the Counsel

, saying, “ that

the questions he put to her were highly imsaid he “My name," said the other, “why what's that proper and indecorous.”

Having thus mentioned the abuse, I shall to thee?"

now state the remedy, which is, however, not E. TH" Not much, I confess, but I gladly would know," generally known : namely, that a witness need "Well, Thompson's my name, since you will not answer any questions put to him by Counsel; have it so."

ke is only obliged to answer such questions as "I thank you," said he, “that is all I desire,

the Judge or Jury shall put to him. If this The tail of your coat, Mr. Thompson's, on

practice

was resorted to, it would soon put a

stop to this conduet of the Lawyers.
fire!"

AN EXQUISITE.
Picture of an Exquisite, alias a Dandy, in dis

tress.
Miscellanies.

“ WALKING along the side of one of the

squares last week, it was my fate to follow an LICENSE OF THE BAR,

exquisite-stocked and stayed, laced and bound, (From an Irish Paper.)

collared and pilleried, in all the fashion ; so THE anqualified licence taken by the gentle slender, so straigtit

, and so stiff

, that a man of Een of the Bar, in the examination and cross

reasonable strength might have used it as a examination of witnesses, has long been the walking stick. This thing: flourishing a very Mercedesbject of very general complaint. The abuse, nice perfumed handkerchief, happened to let it

the insinuations of perjury, the insults which drop--the question was then how to get it up the gentlemen of the long robe deal out to the again-stoop it could not, and I contess I enwilnesses

on the cross-examination, renders it joyed its distress, and wished to see how the absolutely terrific to a man to encounter an

creature would help itself.- Then thus it was: examination; how much more so then must it having eyed the handkerchief askance, somebe to a female

, who cannot tell what line of thing like a magpie peeping into a marrow. fras-examination the Counsel may choose, in bone, it gently spraddled out its legs, and bis whin, to adopt; her character, or that of lowering the body between them, as in a sitker immediate connexions, may be held up to ting posture, it brought the left hand in conthe vilest, most unfounded slander, when it, tact with the object sought. What shall we perhaps, is totally irrelevant, and this is done say to the association of ideas, when I assure without the smallest respect for the feelings of you, that looking on this unmanly figure, the witnesses. In some cases Counsel have brought into my mind the knights of old, who, gone so far that the Judge has been obliged of their armour, hope to mount again.”

once unhorsed, could never, from the stillness to interfere and stop thieni; but, in ral

, the unfortunate witnesses are left to the N.B. It is found remarkably convenient in mercy of the Lawyers, who protest they are

such a case for the exquisite to carry a cane or Derely discharging their duty!

stick, with a hook at the end, as he

may.

fish It is true that in cases of life and death, up any thing he unfortunately drope, without every possible indulgence should be given to breaking his back, or exciting the pity and the Counsel for the prisoner;—for where the risibility of the spectators. life of a hnman creature is at stake, a person would willingly sacrifice a great deal to huma. nity. This abuse has a further injury by wasting the public time:-days are taken up, not

Puns. investigating facts, nor asserting the law, bat in abusing witnesses.

MATRIMONY, This was particularly observable in a late " Lover's-Vows“ if sincere, no "Blind Bargain" trial in the Court of King's Bench, wbich oc

can prove, cupied upwards of three weeks. Commenting But "The way to get Married" will shew, upon the conduct of Counsel, in their treat. If the suitor, “Poor Gentleman," gives - love ment at witnesses, Lord Chief Justice Downes, for love," in his charge to the Jury, said: " That the Soov “A cure for the Ileart Ache'he'll know

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STAPLEFORD

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in the counterpane of my bed, I jumped out the tardiness and obstinacy of the horses, and the phantom had other torments in store for Suite

“A bold stroke for a Wife" brings "The Wed- deceiving enchantress, soothed my mind, and alter this ding-Day near, I retired to my room between eleven and final

, de Ifa “Clandestine Marriage,” what then ? twelve. The profound silence of the night, or the to “ Isabella," is willing, “ the Stranger” can cheer, and the rays of the moon which, darling * And soon make bin the happiest of men. through the lozenge glass of my casement

, de la

chequered the waxed foor of my room, invited an air IP“ Three Weeks after Marriage,” “the Honey- me to take a short airing at iny window ere ! moon" o'er,

retired to repose: 1 had not been there inany "Lovers' Quarrels” begin to appear;

minutes belore I perceived that the nearest la date de Then All in the Wrong," peace deserts from object to my eyes was the church-yard of the con their door,

convent, bristling with wooden crosses and fibi While the high “Road to Ruin" is near.

small tomb-stones, the last memorandums of varia

innocence and chastity, who had anticipated That sometimes “ Such Things Are," is, alas! by a voluntary retirement the blank of oblivion brain · Very true,

to which death dooms us all. Melancholy

, And gives grief to some fair“Mourning Bride;" yet pleasing, ideas, glided before the mirror of or to some “Provok'd lsusband” give good my mind with uncommon rapidity, and soor

excited in me a drowsiness, which the fatigue That in wedlock they ever were tied.

of the day had already made me eager to inJan. 3, 1807.

J. M. L.

dulge. l'undressed and went to bed.

I slept well, till, at day-break, the noise ola
LINES,

casioned by nuy curtains being violently throwo.

aside awoke me, and I saw, or thought I saw, in-H BY THE REV. DR. GOULD, OF

a tall emaciated figure standing in the middle AB BOTS, IN ESSEX, AGED 76, On his Marriage with Miss Gordon.aged about 17. beckoning me. Its dress was white; its eyes,

of the room, and, with an imperative gesture, In days of frolic, mirth, and sun,

sunk in their sockets, shone like portentoas (My nane obnoxious to each pun)

meteors; and its hair, dishevelled and is op How quick the years have rollid!

smoothed, started horridiy from all points of Now verging to the close of life,

the circumference of its long and wedge-like I've taken to myself a wife,

head. The phantom repeated the sailen sundWhose only love is Gould.

mons, and, as if impelled by an irresistible for and be

spell, wrapping my cold and shivering limbs.com Impromptu, on reading the abore. Doctor, your epigram is true

and was fixed on a seat in the middle of the "Tis Gould she loves, but leave out U.

room. The ghastly object that stood in my
presence, torced me to throw
iny face, when, tearing them away, he loaded
them both with a heavy bowl, full to the brim

of a most bitter potion; with it he sprinkled
Scraps.

my aching eyes, he rubbed my parched lips,

filled my ears, and stopped the free breath of TUE MORNING GHOST.

my nostrils. I deprecated the horrid abuse ;

I cried, groaned, supplicated-nothing could (Extract of a Letter to a Friend.)

assuage the fury of the tiend. A kind of THE clock struck nine when I reached

scymetar, of the brightest steel, flashing lightthe suburbs of Lyons. The hail and rain nings from its half-moon-shaped edge, seened ; storm, that had pelted unmercifully since noon, to wheel round my head, whilst the ghost held was now over, and the moon began to peep, my reluctant nose between his deadly cold on the left, through the rolling fleeces of the fingers, and the blood gushing, with the most silver-edged clouds. I put up at an inn which acute pain, from several parts of my face; I was contiguons to a nunnery, in one of the strove to run away from my seat, but being quietest parts of the town, and, thinking that fastened to it by a strong ligament, I was nearly I was at last free from the jolting of the wiser. choaked by the sudden but useless exertion i able post chaise I had hired on the road, froin made. This hard trial was not yet at an endfrom the Bm-s and F-s of the impertinent me! After a thousand mimicries, as pufing, long-tailed postilion, 1. sat to supper with tearing papers, swinging and whirling his tolerable spirits. Adelaide was yet in my arms with astonishing swittness, he seized on heart-ber fair foron floated in the air before my hair, which he dragged, tore, plucked in niy eyes, and seemed reflected on my glass, on all ways imaginable, and strutted around the the silver plate, and on the very knife I held room with a red-hot piece ofiron in his skeleton in my hand. Ah! sweet soul, how often did hand.- What could I do? A cold dew dropped 1 shrink from the idea of dragging an uncom- incessantly from my forehead, and I was just fortable life far, far from thee! But hope, that on the point of fainting, when the fiend, looser

my hands

up

TANT la

ing the fatal knot that hung his victim to the No bishops yet had set the fashion
back of the chair, dragged me violently along To wink at nuptial separation ;
three rooms to the top of the stair-case, and, The cunning manager no doubt
after abusing me with numberless avanies, Would else have left Regina out.
grotesque attitudes, and whimsical contorsions,
he vanished in a thin cloud of silvery dust.-

As once I knew a Cornish swain,
I would have given you my observations on

Grown rich with windfalls of the main-
this extraordinary appearance, if my hair. A desperate wrecker, that had batten’d
dresser had not been waiting more than half On ruin, and on tempests fattend
an hour in the anti-room, and threatened me His fortune made-he comes to town
ten times with the misery of passing a whole affects the beau-puts off the clown-
day in sloven neglige, if I would not submit with fine new arms his coach he decks,
directly to the tortures ubove described.
I remain, &c.

And takes for motto-Vivant Wrecks !
Z.
A SQUIB in the Rear of the Rocket, throron by

another Hand.

Such punning Loyal Saints might vex-
Song.

What! rank our REX among the wrecks!

If it should hap so, lack-a-day!
THE ROSE BUD.

What merits pilot Castlereagh? Q.E.
Tune--Humours of Glen,
Let Africa boast of her sweet blushing vallies,

A DIALOGUE
Where spices and odours embalm the air.

BETWEEN PRIDE AND Poverty.'
Or Asia vaunt of her wine scented vallies :
Her gold and her gems with their radiant glare.

Nobilitas sola eet atque unica virtus.-Juv. But Scotiaauld Scotia, her glens and hoar

Virtue alone is true nobility. mountains, Her woods and her wild groves, o' blushing Pride. How! Noble, say you ? Let me see hawthorn :

Your patent of Nobility. Is dearer to pe, for beside Nitha's fountains; Poverty. 'Tis lock'd within my bosom-given There grows a sweet rose-bud, its banks to By the great Majesty of Heaven. adorn.

Pr. What! you've no‘tree' that shews your race ?

No “coat' to save you from disgrace ? O soft roll the waves by this dear early blossom ;

Our Heralds then must search your mind That dips its fond leaves in the sweet winding

For ‘points' and 'bearings?'-glorious kind! stream; And light fall the dew drops into its green bosom,

But name your parents ;-who are they? And distant the breath of the chill frosty gleam. Pov. Honour and Virtue. Pr. Lack-a-day !

Some Nobodies—I dare to say. O ne'er may yon butterfly riot and pleasure,

Still, tho' no titles you can bring, Nor scatter its dew sprinkled leaves on the Had you with Mammon quartering gale;

No small distinction thence would spring. Nor poisonous reptile e'er blight the green trea For wealth tho'gain'd by trick, is WORTH:sure;

None ever heed the “ scum of earth," Nor low lay its sweet blushing head on the dale. The grovelling, “ Swinish Multitude," Banks of Nith.

HJDALLAN:

Who vilely grunt their want of food;
Wretches, who well might thank their stars,
(Should horses fail)—to draw our cars,

But noble you, who all things lack?
Squibs and Crackers.

Scarcely a covering for your back;

Dunghill, away! Pov. Base slave, hear this For the Quacks and Politicians of the Day. “ My mind to me a kingdom is,"

Nor seek I greater earthly bliss.
VIVANT REX ET REGINA,

Pr. Idiot! to Bedlam—there make brags,
Whoever has old play-bills seell,

There cry— See Royalty in rags !' Can well remember when the Queen,

Go!“ king of shreds and patches!"-go! With her great spouse, whom she was made for Of “poor diminutives" the show, Rex et Reging-both were pray'd for.

HONESTUS,

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Tales.

imminent; we there many leagues from the . shore, and the leak threatened our ship with speedy destruction. The crew vere employed

Tas K THE MERCHANT.

in forming a raft with the yards, casks, and and the (Concluded from our last.)

cordage, on which we might float at the mercy
of the

ocean; we loaded ourselves with our sale THE struggle was supported on both sides most valgable effects, and prepared to quit our by every argument; it was the first opinion sinking vessel. I embraced my wife, and, with my dear wife had owned ;-could I refuse hier?

foreboding heart, bade her a last adieu. Let 1 yielded; I consented; fatal consent!--still, the bridegroom imagine my distress; for ne'er ferie still to be deplored! for ever to be wept!" did bridegroom feel a tenderer passion than After I had fully settled my affairs, we sailed this poor breast then fest, e'en now retains, for Jamaica, and prosperous was the morning and shall for ever cherish. The love-fraught

mo of our voyage. We had completed half our

eye, the eager kiss, the grasp of agony, spake watery course, when a severe tempest arose; her farewell.-We were quitting our cabin, in the impetuous wine came howling o'er the order to commit us to the sad chance of speedy deep; it dispersed the summit of the swelling death or lingering famine, (for relief lay almost ware in airy showers, before it bent the towers beyond the line of possibility) when a diffin ing mast; the cord escaped not its fury; the culty arose.—Oh, memory! drive me not to billows of the deep rose in rude majesty; the distraction!—the superiorstrength of the father tim'rous bird, unable to resist the tempest's proinised the dear babe the more probable force, sought refuge on our masts; it was then safety ;-but the tenderness of the mother gare my no less tim'sous wife, by her trembling birth almost to rage; she hugged the darling limbs, and her pale cheel, betrayed her fear, to ker bosom, nor would yield it even to 3 The little innocent played wanton; for scarce father's arms. Never till that moment say I yet beginning to live, she knew nothing of aught in the countenance of my love but solideath. "I had seated myself by my wife, and

ness and submission;-then fear and fierceness endeavored to abate her fears; while I held blended could I discern in her quick eve.her trembling hand, I embraced her, and

Casting my arms around them, and holding called her spirits to revive her cheek by the both to my breast, while my tears fell on the warip pressure

of my doativg lips. My little innocent, I addressed myself to Heaven:fairy clung around my knee, and, with a par “: Almighty God of miracles! sovereign as is donahle jealousy, asked for an equal mark of thy poirer, even so lowly be my submission ; my affeetion. At this moinent a cry more dis. thy will, O Lord, be done; yet in thy mercy, mal than the howl of midnight wolves, rushed gracious power, lesole down upon this infazi; on my ear; no sound of sense could I distin

visit not the transgressions of the parent ob guishi, save these words, A leaks! a leak:

the faultless offspring, nip not the blossoms Inpatient to obtain a knowledge of the truth,

with the chilly' hand of' death." -We then I was hastening to the door, when I heard the forsook the ship, and trusted to the raft. Nos little innocent reproving her mother in the long had we floated, ere we found the weak. language she had used to receive;—What! ness of our hope; the raft was not proof against cry, mama! naughty mama! At this I tarned

the attacks of the beating billows. A ware, me round; had every death that wretch e'er

lofty as the mountain, came rushing as the suffered, or the heart of cruelty conceived, awaited my return, I had despised them all from my fond arms all that my soul held dear."

thunder-bearing eloud, and in an instant bore it was then I saw my wife, thee, thee, fair The utterance of Alarbus was now suspended excellence! who, e'en in Heaven, now payest by distress; he snddenly quitted the boirer. the secret tear to my distress in deepest woe. The strangers remained weeping, fixed, and I, whose joys knew no spring, but thy smile; silent; save the sobs of Louisa, which she no sunimer, but in thy content; no coniple could not suppress. It was not loog, hoy. tion, but in thy love; beheld thee then liteless, ever, ere Alarbus returned; he-seated himself as chill frozen winter; fixed and direct was thy and with an affected composure continued his eye, languid and senseless thy whole form; à narrative:-“Providence directed my hand to deadly paleness overspread thy cheek; thy lip, as Nature's beauties, veil'd in the spotless from the deep, and mounting on the instros

a part of our floating ruin. I emerged hastily snow. I clasped her in my arins ;-My love, ment of my preservation, gazed wildly

, in hope any life, take courage; who shall dare to die, but the innocent? The fear of danger oft situation. In vain, alas! in vain did I came

to discover my poor wife or child in some such deprives us of the means of safety. "Yes, my beloved Lord, I will take courage; blessed sky, and mounting biltows. The height of

for nothing could my eye discern but the dark is my best to share one common death with thee, my sorrows deprived me of sensation; regard. not weep thy hapless end; but is it not hard to yield this tender lamb a prey to the deep's and so continued, till i beheld, not distant

less of my fate. I mte in stupid sullenness, ravening jaws?"-Sbe turned to the child, and from me far, a boat, whose course seemed Javished on her unnumbered caresses; mean pointed towards me. while I enquired of our danger; I found it classes, the crew had perceived me long ere !

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By the help of their

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