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They say, in all the rivalry of pride,

"Thus far I urg'd this milk-white steed of mine."

flook-the record's gone-a prouder spray Has wash'd the hist'ry of its pomp away.

And then I think that man, in all his glare,

Is but a passing wave that sweeps the sea, A restless, surge-like son of grief and care, That foams awhile, and ceases then to be; And that the painter's and the poet's hand, Are but vain gravers on a faithless sand.

During SHAKSPEARE'S life the seasons once appeared to have changed places, as he beautifully describes in a passage, which was written at the time, and which applies with remarkable coincidence to the present singularity of the weather:— Therefore the winds, piping to us in vain, As in revenge, have suck'd up from the sea Contagious fogs; which falling in the land,

Have every pelting river made so proud, That they have overborne their continents: The ox has therefore stretch'd his yoke in vain,

The ploughman lost his sweat; and the

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And crows are fatted with the murrain flock;

The nine men's morris is fill'd up with mud,

And the quaint mazes in the wanton green,

For lack of tread, are undistinguishable; The human mortals want their winter here;

No night is now with hymn or carol blest:

Therefore the moon, the governess of floods,

Pale in her anger, washes all the air,
That rheumatick diseases do abound;

And, thorough the distemperature, we see
The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts
Fall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose;
And on old Hyem's chin, and icy crown,
An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds
Is, as in mockery, set: The spring, the

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Oh! lull me, lull me, charming air,

My senses rock with wonder sweet!
Like snow on wool thy fallings are,
Soft, like a spirit, are thy feet.
Grief who need fear,
That bath an ear?
Down let him lie,
And slumbering die,

And change his soul for harmony.
WM. STRODE.

London:— Printed by G. Larrance, Dorset Street, Salisbury Square. PUBLISHED FOR THE PROPRIETORS AT 42, HOLYWELL STREET, STRAND.—MAY BE HAD ALSO OF SHERWOOD, NEELY, AND JONES, PATERNOSTER ROW; SIMPKIN AND MARSHALL, STATIONERS' COURT; AND Of all other BOOKSELLERS.

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The late counsellor E-n, chairman of the quarter-sessions of the county of Dublin, was so remarkable for his lenity to women, that a female prisoner was seldom convicted at his court. During the time the humane barrister presided, a prim looking woman was put to the bar of the commission court, at which presided the equally humane, though, perhaps, not so gallant, Baron S-. She was indicted for uttering forged bank notes. According to the usual form of law, the clerk of the crown asked the prisoner if she was ready to take her trial? With becoming disdain she answered, No! She was told by the clerk, she must give her reasons why. As if scorning to hold conversation with the fellow, she thus addressed his lordship-" My Lord, I won't be tried here at all. I'll be tried by my Lord E-." The simplicity of the woman, coupled with the well-known character of E-, caused a roar of laughter in the court, which even the bench could not resist. Baron S-, with his usual mildness, was about to explain the impossibility of her being tried by the popular Judge, and said-" He can't try you- when the woman stopped him short, and with an inimitable sneer, exclaimed-"Can't try me! I beg your pardon, my Lord, he tried me twice before." She was tried, however; and for the third time acquitted.

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THEATRICAL ANECDOTE.---It is the lot of royalty, whether real or imaginary, to be attended with misfortunes.

[PRICE 6d.

A little while since, it was the fate of Richard the Third to be represented by a young man well-known for his attachment to the stage, at a country theatre. On Lord Stanley's entrance at the fourth act, the tyrant demands-" How now, Lord Stanley, what's the news?" The answer given was, it seems, a fact"There's a man at the door, says you owe him a crown, and who swears he won't go away till he gets it."

COUNTRY QUARTERS--A lady advanced in age, and in a declining state of health, went by the advice of the physician, Dr. Hunter, (who relates the anecdote) to take lodgings in a village near the metropolis. She agreed for a suit of rooms, and coming down stairs observed that the ballustrades were much out of repair. "These," said the lady, "must be mended, before I can think of coming "Oh no," replied the landlady," that would answer no purpose, as the undertaker's men, in bringing down the coffins, would break them again immediately."

to live here."

A traveller shewed Lavater two portraits, the one of a highwayman, who had been broken upon a wheel, the other was the portrait of Kant, the philosopher; he was desired to distinguish between them. Lavater took up the portrait of the highwayman; after attentively considering it for some time, "Here," says he, "we have the true philosopher, here is penetration in the eye, and reflection in the forehead; here is cause, and there is effect; there is combination, here is distinction; synthetic lips, and analylic nose. Then turning to the portrait of the philosopher, he exclaimed, “The

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calm thinking villain is so well expressed, and so strongly marked on this countenance, that it needs no comment." This anecdote Kant used to tell with great glee.

LORD CLONMEL.---The late Lord Clonmel, who never thought of demanding more for an affidavit, used to be well satisfied with a shilling, provided it was a good one. In his time the Birmingham shillings were current, and he used the following precautions to avoid being imposed upon by taking a bad one :"You shall true answer make to such questions as shall be demanded of you touching this affidavit, so help you God? Is this a good shilling? Are the contents of this affidavit true? Is this your name and hand-writing?"

Ballads.

BILLY BLINN.

I knew a man that died for love,

His name, I ween, was Billy Blinn; His back was hump'd, his hair was grey, And, on a sultry summer day,

We found him floating in the linn.

Once as he stood before his door
Smoking, and wondering who should,

pass,

Then trundling past him in a cart Came Susan Foy-she won his heart, She was a gallant lass.

And Billy Blinn conceal'd the flame
That burn'd, and scorch'd his very
blood;

But often was he heard to sigh,
And with his sleeve he wiped his eye,
In a dejected mood.

A party of recruiters came

To wile our cottars, man and boy; Their coats were red, their cuffs were blue; And boldly, without more ado,

Off with the troop went Susan Foy!

When poor old Billy heard the news,
He tore his hairs so thin and grey;
He beat the hump upon his back,
And ever did he cry, Alack,
Ohon, oh me!-alas a-day!"

His nights were spent in sleeplessness,
His days in sorrow and despair,
It could not last-this inward strife;
The lover he grew tired of life,

And saunter'd here and there.
At length, 'twas on a moonlight eve,
The skies were blue, the winds were
still;

He wander'd from his wretched but,
And, though he left the door unshut,

He sought the lonely hill.

He look'd upon the lovely moon,

He look'd upon the twinkling stars; "How peacefui all is there," he said, "No noisy tumult there is bred, And no intestine wars."

But misery overcame his heart,

For all was waste and war within;
And rushing forward with a leap,
O'er crags a hundred fathoms steep,
He plunged into the linu.

We found him when the morning sun
Shone brightly from the eastern sky;
Upon his back, he was afloat-
His hat was sailing like a boat-
His staff was found on high.

Oh, reckless woman! Susan Foy,
To leave the poor, old, loving man,
And with a soldier, young and gay,
Thus harlot-like to run away

To India or Japan.

Poor Billy Blinn, with hair so white,

Poor Billy Blinn was stiff and cold; Will Adze he made a coffin neat, We placed him in it head and feet, And laid him in the mould!

Blunders.

A provincial paper says, that a man is in custody on whose person were found, besides several other portable articles, a cart and horse, and several empty bags.

Mr. J. H. known for his habitual tardiness, was invited to join a party at Nashant, and appointed for that purpose to be at his friend's house at an early hour in the morning. Contrary to allexpectation, he was the first on the ground; and his friend in surprise at his punctu ality, burst out in the following lucid apostrophe:-So you've come first at last; you used to be behind before; I suspect you get up early of late!

THE proverb says that Idleness covers a man with rags. An Irish schoolmaster thought the sentence might be improved; in consequence of which, he wrote down for his pupils, Idleness covers a man with nakedness.

THE wags of Paris, by a transposition of the letters, call La sante alliance (the holy alliance) La sante canaille.

Canaille is the most opprobrious epithet in the French language.

MEDICAL JURISPRUDENCE.---An Hibernian paper contains an extraordinary statement on the trial of John Armstrong for stealing a pair of shoes and a hat, at Belfast, on 23d January, the property of Nathanial M'Illwain, a patient in the Lying-in Hospital.

Bon Mots.

NEWS.A news-loving woman was one evening entertaining her husband with a copious detail of a most wonderful event that had occurred somewhere, and which she said she verily believed, having had it from her neighbour, who never told a lie in her life. The husband, however, expressed some doubts about the matter, which so highly exasperated the wife, that she passionately exclaimed,

"There never was on the face of this earth such a provoking cridelereous man as you are; I werily believe, that were you to hear me swear that I was dead, you would not believe me." The patient husband calmly replied, Indeed, Kitty, I had rather hear any one swear that than you."

SHORTLY after his late Majesty's recovery in 1789, he happened one day, when riding out on horseback, to meet Lord Fyfe, on seeing whom he exclaimed, "There comes a man who is neither gambler nor rat!" His Lordship replied, "Your Majesty is mistaken; I am the greatest gamester on earth; " for my all is on that horse."

ZIMMERMAN, the celebrated physician, went from Hanover to attend Frederick, facetiously called "TheGreat," in his last illness. One day the King said to him, "You have, I presume, Sir, helped many a man into another world." This was rather a bitter pill for the doctor; but the dose he gave the King in return was a judicious mixture of truth and flattery:---" Not so many as your Majesty, nor with so much honour to myself."

A countryman sowing his ground, two smart fellows riding that way, one of them called to him with an insolent air, "Well, honest fellow, (said he) 'tis your business to sow, but we reap the fruits of your labour." To which the countryman replied, ""Tis very likely you may, for I am sowing hemp."

A country fellow, just come up to London, and peeping into every shop as he passed by, at last looked into a scrivener's; where seeing only one man sitting at a desk, could not imagine what was sold there; and calling to the clerk, said, "Pray, sir, what do you sell?" "Loggerheads," cried the other. you so?" said the countryman; "truly, you have a special trade then, for I see you have but one left."

"Do

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ON a trial at the admiralty sessions for shooting a seaman, the counsel for the crown asking one of the witnesses, which he was for, plaintiff or defendant. "Plaintiff or defendant !" said the sailor, scratching his head, "why I don't know what you mean by plaintiff or defendant, I come to speak for that there," pointing to the prisoner. "You are a pretty fellow for a witness (says the counsel) not to know what plaintiff or defendant means!" Some time after, being asked

by the same counsel, what part of the ship he was in at the time, "Abaft the binnacle, my lord," says the sailor. "Abaft the binnacle! (replied the barrister) what part of the ship is that?" "Ha! ha! ha! (chuckled the sailor) are not you a pretty fellow of a counsellor (pointing to him archly with his finger) not to know where abaft the binnacle is !"

QUIN being one day in a coffee-house, saw a young beau enter, in an elegant negligee dress, quite languid with the heat of the day. "Waiter!" said the coxcomb, in an affected faint voice, "waiter," fetch me a dish of coffee, weak as water, and cool as a zephyr!" Quin, in a voice of thunder, immediately vociferated, "Waiter, bring me a dish of coffee, hot as h-ll, and strong as d-n-n!" The beau starting,exclaimed, "Waiter, what is that gentleman's name?" Quin, in his usual tremendous tone, exclaimed, "Waiter, pray what is that lady's name!"

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but could not find them; and on going out into the fields, he observed, that the face of all things was changed, and the lands now become the property of another master. He returned home confounded and astonished. Arrived at his own house, he was asked by the occupier of it, who he was; when at last, being recognized by his brother, who was then grown old, he was informed of the truth of what had happened."

GAS & THAMES WATER. [Literatim & Verbatim.]

MR. HEDDITUr,

I keeps a Chandlur's Shop, and deals in Books*, and therefore myself and spouse, at leesure moments, reeds your Magazine. Now my wife happens to be a narvous person; and ever since she has redd your Tit Bit article about the Fish being killed by the purefying streems of the Gas Company, she has not relished her tee, because why? Why because our Water Butt is so-plied by the River Thames. I tells her its all fancy; and as I loves a bit of argument, tries that way; but that, instead of mending the matter, makes it worse. Morehover, she says, the Lord Mare and his Woorship the Watur Bale-if and all the Fyshermen, (and when she's in a great passion, she even says the Fysh themselves) know it for a fact that the water is renderhed un-wholesome, and that a horsea noble animal-was killed on the spot by drinking thereof. Oh! Mr. Hedditur, I have not had a cup of tee in peace, ever since my Wife has redd your Tit Bit article.

I knows (as Doctor or Benjamin Johnson, says) that "Facts are stubborn things;" and if the great persons just alluded to declare the water to be unholesome, I must suppose that my Wife's complaint is not so fanciful as I at first thought it.

Possibly you will favor your reeders with some-thing on the subject; and in the meen time I beg to subscribe myself a Constunt Reeder, and

Your most obedient Servant,
DOMESTICOS.

Among other Works, I have got the best edittions of Red Ride-ing Hood, Gy Earl of Warwick, &c. &c. &c.

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