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Or poking at the roses,

In midst of which your nose is;
Or climbing on a table,
No matter how unstable,
And turning up your quaint eye
And half-shut teeth with "" May'nt I?"
Or else you're off at play, John,
Just as you'd be all day, John,
With bat or not, as happens,
And there you dance, and clap hands,
Or on the grass gow rolling,

Or plucking flow'rs, or bowling,
And getting me expences
With losing balls o'er fences;
Or as the constant trade his,
Are fondled by the ladies,
With "What a young rogue this is!"
Reforming him with kisses;
Till suddenly you cry out,
As if you had an eye out,
So desperately tearful,'
The sound is really fearful,
When lo, directly after,
It bubbles into laughter.

Ah rogue! And do you know, John,
Why 'tis we love you so, John?
And how it is they let ye
Do what you like, and pet ye,
Though all who look upon ye,
Exclaim"Ah Johnny, Johnny!"
It is because you please 'em

Still more, John, than you teaze 'em ;
Because too, when not present,
The thought of you is pleasant:
Because though such an elf, John,
They think that if yourself, John,
Had something to condemn, too,
You'd be as kind to them too;
In short, because you're very
Good-temper'd, Jack, and merry;
And are as quick at giving,
As easy at receiving;
And in the midst of pleasure,
Are certain to find leisure
To think, my boy, of ours,
And bring us lumps of flowers.

But see, the sun shines brightly,
Come, put your hat on rightly,
And we'll among the bushes,
And hear your friends the thrushes;
And see what flowers the weather
Has render'd fit to gather;
And when we home must jog, you
Shall ride my back, you rogue you,
Your hat adorn'd with fine leaves,
Horse-chesnut, oak, and vine-leaves;
And so, with green o'er head, John,
Shall whistle home to bed, John.

LINES sent to Mr. Cosway, while Lady C. PAWLET was sitting to him.

COSWAY, my Cath'rine sits to you: And, that the col'ring may be true, This nosegay on your pallet place, Replete with all the tints that grace The various beauties of her face. Her skin the snow-drop's whiteness shows, Her blushing cheek the op'ning_rose; Her eyes the modest violet speak, Whose silken fringes kiss her cheek; The spicy pink, in morning dew, Presents her fragrant lips to view; The glossy curls that crown her head, Paint from the gilt-cup of the mead. Long may her image fill my eye, When these fair emblems fade and die; Plac'd on my faithful breast, and prove 'Tis Cosway paints the Queen of Love.

Written on occasion of a Ball, in which the Ladies agreed to dress in Silks, for the sake of encouraging the Spitalfields Manufac

turers.

WEAVE the web of brightest blue,
Azure as its native sky;
Flow'rets add of ev'ry hue,
"Tis the vest of Charity.

Rich the tissue of the loom,
Glossy gleams the artist's dye;
Yet the mantle shall assume
Brighter tints from Charity.

Youth and beauty, lo! advance,
Light and gay as Love can be,
Nimbly tripping in the dance,
Clad in robes of Charity.

Babes and mothers lift the head,

Silk-clad trains of nymphs to see; Beauty deals them daily bread, Deck'd in silks of Charity.

Shiv'ring with the winter's wind,
Age, disease, and infancy,

In warm wool their cold limbs bind;
Silk's the dress of Charity.

Lovely ladies at the ball,

Lovelier still if that can be, Rob'd in silk, in Pleasure's hall, Dance the dance of Charity.

London:-Printed by G. Larrance, Dorset Street, Salisbury Square. PUBLISHED FOR THE PROPRIETORS AT 42, HOLYWELL STREET, STRAND.-MAY BE HAD ALSO OF SHERWOOD, NEELY, AND JONES PATERNOSTER ROW; SIMPKIN AND MARSHALL, STATIONERS' COURT; AND OF ALL OTHER BOOKSELLERS.

THE

TICKLER MAGAZINE. TICKLER

No. 8. VOL. III.]

Anecdotes.

LONDON, AUGUST 1, 1821.

MARGARET LAMBURN. THE death of Mary Queen of Scots so affected one of her retinue, that he died

soon after of grief. Margaret Lamburn, his widow, became so enfuriated in consequence, that she resolved to revenge the death of both on Queen Elizabeth. To accomplish her purpose, she dressed herself in the habit of a man, and assuming the name of Atterly Spark, attended the court of Elizabeth with a pair of pistols; with one of which she intended to kill the Queen, and with the other, herself. One day, as she was pushing through the crowd, in order to get to her Majesty, she accidentally dropped one of her pistols. This being observed by one of her guards, she was immediately seized. The Queen interfered, and desired to examine the Cul prit; she accidentally demanded her name; to which Margaret, with undaunted resolution replied, Madam, though I appear before you in this garb, yet I am a woman; my name is MARGARET LAMBURN. I was several years in the service of Mary,-a Queen whom you have unjustly put to death, and thereby deprived me of one of the best of husbands, who could not survive the bloody catastrophe of his innocent mistress; his memory is hardly more dear to me than that of my injured Queen, and regardless of consequences, I determined to revenge their death npon you. Many, but fruitless, were the attempts made to divert me from my purpose; I found myself constrained to prove, by experience, the truth of the maxim, that neither reason nor force can hinder a woman from vengeance, when she is

[PRICE 6d.

impelled by love. Highly as the Queen had cause to resent this speech, she heard it with coolness and moderation; "you are persuaded then," said her Majesty, "that in this step you have done nothing but what your duty required; what think you is my duty to you?" "Is that quesof a Judge," enquired Margaret, with tion put in the character of a Queen or the same intrepid firmness; Elizabeth professed to her, it was in the character of a Queen. Then, continued Lamburn, "it is your duty to grant me a pardon;" "but what security," demanded the will not make the like attempt upon some Queen, can you give me, that you future occasion." "A favour ceases to become one, Madam," reple Margaret, "when it is yielded under such rewould act against me as a Judge." Elistraints; in so doing, your Majesty zabeth, turning to her courtiers, exclaimed, "I have been a Queen thirty years, and never had such a lecture read to me before." She then immediately granted an unconditional pardon to Margaret advice of her courtiers. Lamburn, though in opposition to the

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MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTOR.

In the year 1721, celebrated for the bursting of the South Sea bubble, a gentleman called, late in the evening, at the banking-house of Hankes & Co.; he was in a coach, but refused to get out, and desired to see one of the Firm, into whose hands he put a parcel, very carefully sealed up, and desired it might be taken care of till he should call again, which would be in the course of a few

days. A few days passed away, a few weeks, a few months, but the stranger never returned. At the end of the second

or third year, the partners agreed to open this mysterious parcel, when they found it to contain £30,000, with a letter, stating it had been obtained by the South Sea speculation, and directing that it should be invested in the hands of three trustees, whose names were mentioned, and the interest appropriated to the relief of the poor; a direction which, it is needless to say, has been most faithfully observed.

CASAUBON, in his Treatise on the Passions, relates the following Anecdote of Robert, one of the greatest monarchs that ever swayed the sceptre of France. Having once surprised a rogue who had cut away half his mantle, he took no other notice of the offence than by saying mildly to him, "Save thyself, sinner, and leave the rest for another who may have peed of it."

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QUACKERY TRIUMPHANT.---The late Dr., of an empiric of great celebrity, visited Drogheda, about sixteen years ago, in order to establish there a more extensive sale for his nostrum. A few hours after his arrival, he was waited upon by a gentleman named T- who addressed the Doctor thus," I come, my dear Sir, to return you my sincere thanks for the benefits you have conferred on me and my whole family. Your invaluable medicine has been of more service to us, than all the receipes prescribed for us during the whole course of our lives. I solemnly declare that it is of more efficacy than the whole materia medica, in common use." Joy sparkled in the Doctor's eye at the intelligence. He shook his visitor's hand most cordially, and expressed his delight thus-" My dear Sir, I am highly gratified with this intelligence. To be serviceable to mankind is the chief study of my life. I hope, Sir, you will do me the justice to certify the facts in the public prints. This may be of some service to me, but more to your town and country." "My dear Doctor," said T- "it will give me pleasure to comply with your request, and I would be gratified if the whole world knew both your merits, and the service you rendered me."" And pray, Sir," said the Doctor, "what are the particulars of

the case?" "Why, Sir," replied T. " my grand-aunt resided in our family. She was as rich as Cræsus, but as irritable as a hunted porcupine, and as pugnacious as a persecuted cat. Last Tuesday, she quarrelled with my wife and my youngest daughter, and declared her resolution to alter her will on Wednesday, and leave all her property to a remote relation. In the evening, however, she grew qualmish, and took some of your most precious cordial to raise her spirits; and ere the dawn of Wednesday morning, she was no more. We are grateful to you for the event, and if you will honour us this day with your company, we will drink long life to our true friend, the learned Dr., and chaunt a requiem to the perturbed spirit of our departed aunt." The Doctor thus accosted-

"Grinn'd horribly a ghastly smile," and withdrew from Drogheda, for ever, "with blushing honours kindling on his cheek."

R. B. SHERIDAN, Esq.As this accomplished Wit was coming up to town in one of the public coaches, for the purpose of canvassing Westminster, at the time when Paull was his opponent, he found himself in company with two Westminster electors. In the course of conversation, one of them asked the other to whom he meant to give his vote? When his friend replied,

To Paull, certainly; for though I think him but a shabby sort of a fellow, I

would vote for any one rather than that rascal Sheridan!" "Do you know Sheridan?" asked the stranger. "Not I, Sir," answered the Gentleman; "nor should I wish to know him." The conversation dropped here; but when the party alighted to breakfast, Sheridan called aside the other Gentleman, and said " Pray, who is that very agreeable friend of your's? he is one of the pleasantest fellows I ever met with, and I should be glad to know his name?""His name is Mr. T; he is an eminent lawyer, and resides in Loncoln'sinn fields." Breakfast over, the party resumed their seats in the coach; soon after which Sheridan turned the discourse to the law. "It is," said he, "a fine profession. Men may rise from it to the highest eminence in State; and it gives vast scope to the display of

talent: many of the most virtuous and noble characters recorded in our history have been lawyers. I am sorry, however, to add, that some of the greatest rascals have also been lawyers; but of all the rascals of lawyers I ever heard of, the greatest is one T- —, who lives in Lincoln's Inn Fields." "I am Mr. T," said the Gentleman. " And I am Mr. Sheridan," was the reply. The jest was instantly seen, they shook hands, and instead of voting against the facetious orator, the lawyer exerted himself warmly in promoting his election.

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An honest Cambrian having lost his Cow, as the most effectual means of recovering the same, circulated a printed hand-bill, of which the following is a literal Copy. "This was to giff notice publick, that Evan Davies loosed her Cush out of her packside, at Llandeglo. Her Cush was have four plack legs and a plack tail, and was loosed one teeth out of her mouth; and her Cush was ferry fond to kick people's, who was come nigh her. Evan Davies was thought ferry off what was

make it coe from her packside, pecause Evan Davies was always kiff her so much met as was fill her pelly, which was make Evan Davies to think that some ferry pad meaning person was stoled hur. And who theife will pring him Cush pack again, shall haff so much pread and cheese as hur can put in hur pelly, without paying nothing for it. Cot save the King; and hear, Cush has only cot one eye.'

Bon Mots.

BAR ANECDOTE--" What have you got to say, old Bacon-face?" said a Counsellor to a farmer, at a late Cambridge assizes. "Why," answered the farmer, "I am thinking that my bacon-face, and your calf's head, would make a very good dish."

Dr. GRAHAM'S WANT.--Dr. Graham, being on his stage at Chelmsford, in Essex, in order to promote the sale of his medicines, told the country people, that he came there for the good of the public, not for want. Then speaking to his merry andrew, said he, "Do we come here for want?" "No, faith, sir," said Andrew, "there is enough of that at home."

A physician at Bath told Mr. FOOTE that he had a mind to publish his poems; "for," said he, "I have so many irons in the fire, I do not know what to do." "Then take my advice," said FoOTE, "and put your poems into the fire, with the rest of your irons.”

THE bench of justices having denied licences to every publican who had J. Wilkes, Esq. for his sign; a spirited per son who was a sufferer on this occasion, said, "That he was no friend either to J. Wilkes or his cause, and therefore had him hung up in effigy to shew his real principles; but that if he had given them any offence, he was ready to pull down J. Wilkes, and hang up the whole bench of justices in his stead.

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SIR-Without troubling you with prelude, you must know that I am the unfortunate husband of a buyer of bargains. My wife has somewhere heard, that a good housewife never has any thing to purchase when it is wanted. This maxim is often in her mouth, and always in her head. She is not one of those philosophical talkers, that speculate without practice, and learn sentences of wisdom only to repeat them; she is always making additions to her stock; she never passes by a broker's shop, but she spies something that may be wanted some time; and it is impossible to make her pass the door of a house where she hears goods selling by auction.

Whatever she thinks cheap, she holds it the duty of an economist to purchase; in consequence of this maxim, we are encumbered on every side with useless lumber. The servants can scarcely creep to the beds through the chests and boxes that surround them. The carpenter is always employed in building closets, fixing cupboards, and fastening shelves, and my house has the appearance of a ship stored for a voyage to the colonies.

I had often observed that advertisements set her on fire, and, therefore, pretending to emulate her laudable frugality, I forbade any newspaper to be taken any longer; but my precaution is vain; I know not by what fatality, or by what confederacy, every catalogue of genuine furiture comes to her hand, every advertisement of a warehouse newly opened is in her pocket book, and she knows, before any of her neighbours, when the stock of any man legping off trade is to be sold cheap for ready money.

Such intelligence is, to my dear one, the Syren's song. No engagement, no duty, no interest, can withhold her from a sale, from which she always returns congratulating herself upon her dexterity at a bargain; the porter lays down his burden in the hall, she displays her new acquisitions, and spends the rest of the 'day in contriving where they shall be put.

As she cannot bear to have any thing not complete, one purchase necessitates another; she has twenty feather beds more than she can use, and lately another sale has supplied her with a propor tionate number of Witney blankets, a large roll of linen for sheets, and five quilts for every bed, which she bought because the seller told her that he would let her have a bargain.

Thus, by hourly encroachments, my habitation is made narrower and narrower; the dining room is so crowded with tables, that dinner scarcely can be served; the parlour is decorated with so many piles of china, that I dare not come within the door, and at every turn of the stairs I have a clock.

This, however, might be borne, if she would gratify her own inclinations without opposing mine. But I who am idle, am luxurious, and she condemns me to live upon salt provision. She knows the loss of buying in small quantities; we have therefore whole hogs, and quarters of oxen-part of our meat is tainted before it is eaten, and part is thrown away because it is spoiled; but she persists in her system.

The common vice of those who are still grasping at more, is to neglect that which they already possess; but from this failing my wife is free. It is the great care of her life, that the pieces of beef should be boiled in the order in which they are bought; that every feather bed shall be laid on in its turn; that the carpets should be taken out of the chests once a month and brushed; and the rolls of linen opened now and then before the fire. She employs workmen from time to time, to adjust six clocks that never go, and clean five jacks that rust in the garret.

She is always imagining some distant time in which she shall use whatever she accumulates; she has fourteen lookingglasses which she cannot hang up in her house, but which will be handsome in more lofty rooms; and pays rent for the

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