Correspondence. To the Editor of the Tickler Magazine. A LETTER by M. Dugard de Belletete, a worthy and ingenious foreigner, who came to reside in London, and who did us the honour to study our language, in the same manner as the most learned men in all ages have studied the Greek and Latin, but who was barbarously and inhospitably treated, for no other reason than because he unluckily understood that Dr. Johnson's Dictionary contained the real and simple meaning of our most common words and terms; directed to a gentleman of great eminence in the law, which is as follows, verbatim et literatim. MONSIEUR, was Me be one Franchéman dat representé my grievance to you vor de advise. My occupation be to dressé and to frizé de hairs of de ladies and de gentlemans; and out of de pure affectien vor de von peuple of Englandé, and voir deir grand improvement, and dat dey make de better appearance, me leave my chere patrie, and come over heré; and me ave at de grand depense made one purchase of de Dictionaire of de Docteur S-1 J-n, vor apprendre more facilement and parle more justement and proprement de English Tongue. But dat vilain Dictionaire ave léde me into ver grand mistaké, and avé goté me kicke, cuffe, beate, and my teet drive down my troat; and now me vant to know veder me can ave de action of de law vor my damage, against dis Docteur J-—n. Ave de patience, Monsieur, and me vill telle you all my misfortune:-Ven me arrivé a Dover, me ave dans in a poche, one piece of de fine Brussel lacé, as a presant, vor ruffle, or oder tings, for my oer good friend, Madame la Duchesse of But no sooner me set foote on shore, but de grand vilain come, and he do searche me, and he take from me my lace. I aske him, foutre, vat diable be you, and vor vat you robe me? He telle me, he be one officer of de excise, and he do no more dan his duty; den I say, foutre, dis be de hateful taxe levied upon de commodité, and you be de vretche hire by dose to vom excise be paye. Den he enter in a grand colere, and he strike *Excise a hateful tax levied upon commo- + Gazetteer-It was lately a term of the utmost infamy, being usually applied to wretches that were hired to vindicate the court. Ibid. and one legé at Martinique; and dat he live at present on half pay, and dat he ave besides one small pension of tirty livre sterlin a year. Den I say to him, jan foutre, I be my own matre, but you be one slave-hire to obey your matre; Docteur Jn tella me so,* and dat you be one traitre to your country, begar. De jentleman say noting, but vit his stumpé knocké me down, and drive tree of my teet done my troate. Ver well, all dis ver well; I lie one mont in my bedé, and ven I be recovre, I see one morning, one advertisement vor de consumers of oats to meet togeder at de Sun Tavern, Cheapside, to consulte on deir special affaire; I consult de grand Dictionaire of dis Docteur Jn, and I see dat oats be de food of de horse in Englande, but of de peuple of Scotland.+ Le diable say I to myself, do de English horse and de Scotchmans meet and drinke togeder in dis country? begar I will go see dis marveille. Vell, I go to de caberet at de hour, and see oer few Scotchmans, and oer many Englishmans, but not one horse or one mare. I vait long time, and at last I say to some, dat I taught were Englishmans, by deir broad face and deir great belly: Vat jentlemens be all your horse sicke, or take physicke, dat you come here in deir place, and be de represantative of de horse? But dey tinke I do affronte dem, and dey d-n my eyes, and kicke me, and cuffe me, and bruise me so, dat I be took up for dead, and do keep my bed ever since. But, Monsieur, my apoticaire tella me, dat dis Docteur Jn be himself ten time one greater slave to his matre, and ten time one grater tratre to his country, dan de lieutenant of de ship of var vit one eye, one arme, one lege; vor dat he ave got one pension of tree hundred livre sterlin a year, vor de vriting of de nonsense and de grand stuffe; vereas de poor lieutenant dat lose one half of himselfe, in de service of his country, ave got but tirty. Derefore, Monsieur, mon cherame, Pension An allowance made to any one without an equivalent. In England it is generally understood to mean pay given to a state hireling, for treason to his country.Pensioner, a slave of state, hired by a stipend to obey his Master.-Johnson's Dict. Oats A grain, which in England, is generally given to horses, but in Scotland, supports the people.-Ibid. I beseecha you to file one bille in Chancery against dis said Docteur Sl J-n; vor dat he, vit his vilain Dictionaire, vilfully and vit malice propense, ave cheate, deceive, and abuse me so, dat I ave got my heade and sorde broke, my teete knocke down my troate, and myself so kicke, cuffee, and bruse, dat I keep my bede, and ave lose all my time and businesse; and dat you will oblige him, de said Docteur S-1J-n, to make compensation sufficient to me, vor all my domage, out of de pay give to hime, as hireling of de state, vor treason to his country, and to demande my pardon in the publique papier, and likewise to make de necessaire change in his Dictionaire. I ave the honeur to be, Your very humble Serviteur, Elegies. On the celebrated Bishop of Salisbury, John Jewel, written by Dr. Fuller. Holy learning, sacred arts, Gifts of nature, strength of parts, Fluent grace, an humble mind, Worth reform'd and wit refin'd, Sweetness both in tongue and pen, Insight both in books and men, Hopes in woe, aud fears in weal, Humble knowledge, sprightly zeal, A liberal heart and free from gall, Height of courage in Truth's duel,— Close to friend and true to all, Are the stones that made this JEWEL. Let him that would be truly blest, Wear this Jewel in his breast. ON DR. MONSEY. Here lie my old bones, my vexation now ends, I've liv'd much too long for myself and my friends. As for church-yards and grounds, which the parsons call holy, 'Tis a rank piece of priestcraft, and founded in folly; In short, I despise them, and as for my soul, Which may mount the last day with my bones from this hole, I think it has, really, nothing to fear This may be complained of by some, as not mentioning the occupation, sphere of life, &c. &c. of the parties deceased; this point (wishing to conduct the controversy like a gentleman,) I am willing to concede, and present you, Mr. Editor, with one not to be found fault with on that score: ON AN INN-KEEPER. And drank from life's all-honied cup; How Death unkind has dish'd me up. I am, however, well prepared for a moderate dose of hyper-criticism; and think it within the verge of possibility, that even the above may find some opponents, on account of its not stating where the decease of the parties took place. I therefore present the following to the public eye, which I think introduces the place of death admirably. Life on my pins had set me, Just by the sign of the Crown. The above is concise and jovial; but there is a tone of great pathos and real regret in the following lamentation of a father, on the decease of his only daughter :- Grim Death, in doing thy duty, From the God of mankind, whom I truly Hoping this will satisfy your Readers, revere. that I have found more in church-yards to excite smiles than tears, I am, Mr. Editor (with many thanks for your good nature), your obliged Correspondent, OLIVER OLDstye. Humour. MAN IN 1821.---A man, in this happy era, is really of no use whatever to himself. It is a principle, on which every should do any thing for himself, if he can body, that is any body, acts, that no one procure another to do it for him. Accordingly, there is hardly the most simple performance in nature, for the more easy execution of which, an operator, or machine of some kind or other, is not employed or invented; and a man who has A had the misfortune to lose, or chooses not to use any of his limbs or senses, may meet with people ready to perform all their functions for him, from paring his nails to forming an opinion. No man cleans his own teeth, who can afford to pay a dentist; and hundreds get their livelihood by shaving the chins and combing the hair of their neighbours-many, indeed, comb their neighoour's locks for nothing. The powers of man and the elements of nature even are set aside, the use of limbs and air having been both superseded by steam. In short, every thing is done by proxy---death not excepted, for are we not told that our soldiers and sailors die for us? Marriage in certain ranks, is on this footing. Prince marries by proxy, and sometimes lives for ever after, as if he thought all the obligations of wedlock were to be performed in a similar manner. A nobleman, it is true, will here take the trouble to officiate in the first instance in person, but there are plenty of cases to shew, that nothing is further from his noble mind than the idea of continuing his slavery, while others can be found to take the labour off his hands. So numerous are the royal roads to every desideratum, and so averse is every true gentleman from doing any thing for himself, that it is to be dreaded, lest it should grow impolite to chew one's own victuals; in which case, we (speaking for ourselves) should, most assuredly, be starved; for, though we may permit others to think, and spend our money for us, we could not stomach an attempt to assist us in the masticating way. But, be it remembered, we only speak for ourselves as we are aware that there are great numbers who, not getting their share of Heaven's provision, may be said to submit to have their food eat for them. Impromptus. A MICHAELMAS NOTICE TO QUIT. To all gad-flies and gnats, fam'd for eventide hum, TO A PORTER. Porter, sitting on thy sack, Late thy sack has sate on thee; Lift it once more on thy back, That thy strength the world may see. To the blue-bottles, too, with their gossamer AN IDEA ON A PECK OF COALS. drum; To all long-legs and moths,thoughtless rogues still at ease, OLD WINTER sends greeting-health, friend ship, and these. By the same. I buy my Coals by pecks, that we May have 'em fresh and fresh, d'ye see. TO A PIG WALKING UNDER A Foolish Pig! no longer stay, Miscellanies. APATHY.---A footman of Lord Dacre was hung in 1763 for the murder of his lordship's butler. The culprit was only 19 years of age. While writing his confession,-"I murd-" he stopped and asked, “How do you spell murdered?” ECONOMY.---Sir Robert Brown, when his eldest daughter was given over, on that uncertainty sent for an undertaker, and bargained for her funeral, in hopes of having it cheaper, as it was possible she might recover. THE "Church" has rarely been wanting in ingenious contrivances to fill its coffers, or been very nice as to the means. In France, in the 14th century, the clergy had forbidden newly married couples to sleep together for the first three nights of their marriage, under a considerable fine! This impudent prohibition existed for some time, and was only at length abolished by the interference of the Parliament. SUBSTANCE OF THE FRENCH Madame the Duchess de B. took her usual airing this morning, and alighted at her hotel precisely at a quarter past four. It is with the most lively regret we announce to our readers, that Mons. Clauzel, notary of Marseilles, is dangerously ill of a bowel complaint, at his lodgings in the Rue St. Anne. Fashionable circles whisper, that a marriage is about to take place between a lady of high rank and à nobleman of distinguished accomplishments, who a would certainly have made a great figure in the belles lettres, if he had had time to attend to them. The aeronaut who ascended at the fete champetre, given by the Duke de S. was precipitated from the car of the balloon, and dashed to pieces in the Duke's garden. This unfortunate occurrence threw a gloom over the festivities of the day; the Duchess de S. was so much affected by it, that she retired to her chamber, and though she afterwards rejoined the company, she was observed to look unusually grave. This circumstance gave rise to surmises of a particular character, and the Count de L. wrote an impromptu comparing the aeronautic aspirant to Phaeton, and the Duchess's eyes to the Sun. We learni with lively regret that the deceased has left a wife and four children. We have just received intelligence from Caen, in Normandy, that a violent altercation has arisen between two individuals of that town, respecting the election of a pew opener to the parish church. When the courier left the town` with his dispatches, it was impossible to say how this affair was likely to ter minate. The scientific world will deplore the loss of Mons. Roquelaire, who will be known to all posterity by his "Arithmetic made Easy," and whose grandfather acquired so brilliant a reputation in the situation of a Collector of Taxes at Toulon. Madame de Tristapatte, who formerly resided in the Rue St. Honore, has recently taken apartments in the Place Vendome. We abstain at present from offering any comments to our readers upon this singular event. A few days ago, as the Duke de Mailhot was returning at rather a rapid pace from the Bois de Boulogne, one of his horses lost a shoe. The shoe was found by a grocer's apprentice, who immediately took it to the office of the Prefecture of Police. One can never sufficiently admire such disinterested actions. Mons. Corbeau having retired from trade with a considerable fortune, purchased an estate with it in the neighbourhood of Rouen. Upon finding, however, that the estate formerly belonged to one of the emigrant clergy, who had recently returned to Paris, he generously restored it to the original pro ИН |