We wretched Europeans simply don't know what a properly cooked pillao is, and as for curry, "Ye gods and little fishes!"

The cloth was spread on the floor, and we faced each other sitting cross-legs; around us were placed numberless small, covered dishes, from which I was pressed to choose, and choose again. One of the sweets was an apple preserved whole, and wrapped in silver tissue; it was undeniable. After dinner we smoked and argued, the Nawab maintaining gravely that the Government of India would be better managed if, instead of employing the cheap and dirty Bābu, the respectable but impecunious Mussulman were given a chance. To this I replied, "The objectionable Bābu learns English; your co-religionists do not," but my adversary smote me hip and thigh by suggesting that if the work of all Government Offices and High Courts were in the local vernacular it might be more conducive to justice. I felt that to cope with such a radical was beyond my powers.

If ever, urged on by some heaven-forsaken Gladstone-trained Government, we leave India to govern itself, may I be there to see men like the Nawab raise the stern war cry of Islam, and with one mighty effort sweep the cringing Bengali off the face of the land; and woe in that day to the moneylender and extortioner.

NIYASHI TAWAIF.

Had I any character to lose, the mere fact of admitting so much as a nodding acquaintance with this fair one would blast my chances of keeping it; what, then, if I plead guilty to knowing her well? When her jewels, valued at Rs. 45,000, were stolen and found in the house of an ex-lover, she desired me to prosecute him, and was with great difficulty made to understand that I never appeared for a prosecution; but when the scamp contrived by some hocus-pocus in a native magistrate's court to get acquitted

and ran her in for bringing a false charge against him it was time to interfere.

To the terrible disgust of my lordly Munshi, Miss Niyashi would drive up to the bungalow and send in Salaam; being a girl from Delhi she spoke the most delicious Urdu, clear and sonorous, and being, further, a young lady of considerable powers of observation, her remarks were worth hearing. After much litigation we brought the exlover down heavily, to the tune of three years' imprisonment and a large fine as well.

Great was the joy of Niyashi; nothing but the Munshi's lowering eye prevented her giving me a grateful kiss, though, as she had just been chewing cardamums, I did not lose much.

If a native woman is not nibbling cardamums, she is on to the betel, or failing these sucking hard at a hubble bubble, so that it is easy to conceive what their breath must amount to! Revenons to our lost lamb.

It was a matter of faith with the young native mashers that she sang divinely; as a matter of fact, the sounds she produced resembled a steam whistle practising Wagner, or a naughty girl getting toko from her awful dad; but what on earth does that matter so long as golden bangles and noserings are the reward? 'Prosit," my dusky

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Patti; tip us another squall. When, however, your throat is dry, rest awhile, and chaff your admirers, an art you are well-nigh perfect in.

Niyashi sings and dances no more now! She is a Purdanashin lady! Not only in Germany is vice allowed to become a virtue, in India too the successful dancing girl finds a husband and rest for her old age. Sweet, shrieking sisterhood, here is a chance for you; give poor Tommy Atkins a rest; you have done him all the harm possible. Come and scratch my eyes out for daring to speak of a nautch girl as a friend.

Faugh! you sexless, bloodless harpies;

may you get a due reward in a future state, and may it be all I desire!

BEGUM SAHIBA.

First she telegraphed, then she wrote a long incoherent letter, and finally she sent her "Mukhtyar," from all of which I gathered that my fair client the Begum had been getting into some fresh scrape. She was a perfect genius at doing so.

Either she was refusing to dismiss her far too numerous retainers when so ordered by the Collector Sahib, or she was resisting the execution of a decree of Court, bidding her demolish a wall she had built on a neighbour's land; or, worse still, inciting her servants to soundly wollop a too importunate creditor!

But the Begum and I were sworn allies, and as fast as a night in the train and relays of horses could bring me I was at her house, ready for a long talk through the purdah (a