past life and future ftate. Now is it time for me to look into my foul, and examine my ftate, Oh, how many do mifs falvation when they think themelves fure of it? They mistake a form of godliness for the power of it, and thereby deceive themselves, thinking themselves fomething when they are nothing.

Some come the length as to thed tears, as Efau did; profefs fair, yea fight for the Lord, as Saul and Jehu did; with for the end of the righteous, as Balaam did; defire God's people to pray for them, as Pharaoh and Simon Magus did; walk foftly, and mourn for fear of judgment, as Ahab did; joy in gofpel-ordinances, and reform in many things as Herod did; prophecy and fpeak well of Chrift, as Caiphas and Judas did; be convinced and tremble at hearing a fermon, as Felix did; yea, tafte the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, as apoftates have done: And yet for all these attainments, remain strangers to the faving work of the Spirit on the heart.

O that the confideration of hypocrites attainments might alarm me out of my fecurity, and make me restlefs till I find the diftinguishing marks of true grace and : fincere faith in my foul? O that I could fay, there is a principle in me that will not fuffer me to build on any foundation in the world but Chrift and his righteoulnefs; that makes me content with Chrift, with all his offices, with all his precepts, and with his very crofs for his fake! Doth the love of Chrift keep me back from fin, more than the law or fear of hell? Have I aimed at God's honour in all my actions, civil, natural, and religious? Am I humble, and denied to my own will, wit, credit, eafe and honour, and to all the enjoyments of the world? Am I acquaint with the throne of grace, and defirous to keep up a conftant correfpondence with it? O let me not reft till I perceive thofe things in my foul which accompany falvation.

O how comfortable would it be to me now, if I could fay with good Hezekiah in his ficknefs, "Remember now, O Lord, how I have walked before thee in truth, and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy fight? O that I could pray, and fay with

Jefus

a piece of painted duft and gilded clay. How gladly would the greatest worlding, then, give all his gold and filver, riches and honours, for one fight of Christ's fair face, one fmile of his countenance ? O wherefore should men in health neglect the market of grace, and flight the pearl of great price? why fhould they spend their money for that which is not bread, and their labour for that which fatisfieth not?

Lord, fave me from the hypocrite's cafe at death, whofe candle of profeffion and of hope burns and blazes fair all the way with him, but goeth out in the dark trance of death; and there he stumbles and falls, and fhall rife no more. O that my profeffion and hope may be of God's creating! If God light my candle, then fhall my feet be enlightened through the dark valley, and neither death nor hell fhall be able to put it out.

Lord, fubdue fin in me, and let it be continually dying now, that it may certainly be dead before me. God forbid that my fins should survive me!

Oh, that when the ftroke of death diffolves my body, my foul may escape as a bird out of the fnare of the fowler, and may afcend to the heavenly regions to enjoy God himself.

O let me look through the gates of mortality, and long for the jailor's coming to fet me at liberty. God help me to overcome the love of life, and fears of death. If my neighbour lend me any thing, I pay it again with thanks, and fhall I not reftore my life to God with thanks, who hath been pleafed to lend me it fo long? arife, and let me depart, for this is not my rest: Heaven is my home, Lord bring me to it; the joys of it are too great to enter into me, O make me fit to enter into them.

While I lie on a fick bed, Lord help me to patience in my fickness without murmuring.

How willingly would the damned in hell endure my pains a thousand years, if they had any hopes of being faved at leaft! Bleffed be God that my fickness is not in hell, that my pains are not eternal.

O that I may look on my affliction as coming from the hand of him that is the Lord of health and of ficknefs, of life and of death; who killeth and maketh

alive, bringeth down to the grave, and raiseth up again! That Sovereign and wife Lord hath determined the time when my affliction shall end, as well as the time when it began. Thirty-eight years were appointed the fick man at Bathefa pool; eighteen years the woman that Satan kept bound; twelve years to the woman with the bloody iffue; ten days tribulation to thofe of Smyrna ; three days plague to David. The number of the godly man's tears is registrated in God's book; yea, the hairs of his head are numbered.

When David got his choice of his own chaftifements, he chofe rather to be corrected by the hand of God, than by any other means, faying, " Let me fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercies are great." I was dumb and opened not my mouth, becaufe thou didst it. Glory to God, that I am fallen into his merciful hand. Hath God appointed that man's coming into the world fhall be attended with pain and crying, and his going out of it with grief and trouble; and fhall I quarrel at it? No, I defire humbly to underly the correction of mine iniquity, and to bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have finned against him. O that the fickness of my body may be a means of health to my foul! May I be chaftened of the Lord, fo that I may not be condemned with the world!

It is good for the believer that he is afflicted. Why? it fprings from Divine love, and it works for his foul's good. Affliction is a feal of his adoption, and no fign of reprobation. The pureft gold is most often tried, the fweeteft grape is hardeft preffed, and the trueft Christian is heaviest croffed. But O how foon will the Chriftian forget all his groans when he comes to heaven! As foon as Stephen faw Chrift, though at a distance, he forgot all his wounds and bruifes; he minded no more the terror of the ftones about his ears, but fweetly yielded his foul into his Redeemer's hands.

I read of many in the gofpel, that by fickneffes and difeafes were driven unto Chritt, who, if they had enjoyed health and profperity, would have neglected, like many others, to come to him. O bleffed is that cross, that draweth a finner to Chrift, to lay open his own VOL. I. mifery,

Dd

mifery, and implore Chrift's mercy. And bleffed be that Chrift, who never refuseth the finner that cometh to him, though driven by affliction and mifery. To whom fhall fuch a diftreffed creature as I go, but to him who is the only physician, that can both cure my foul from fin, and my body from ficknefs?

Lord, thou never denied thy mercy to any finner that afked it with a penitent heart. There were many forts of fick finners that came to thee in the days of thy flesh; the blind, the deaf, the lame, the lepers; those that were fick of palfies, dropfies, fevers, fluxes, and were poffeffed with devils: And yet never one of them came crying for mercy, that went away without his errand, were his fin never fo great, his disease never fo grievous. Nay, fo merciful is my Redeemer, that he offered and gave his mercy to many that never asked it, being moved with the bowels of his own compaffion, and the fight of their mifery; fo dealt he with the woman of Samaria, the widow of Nain, and the man that lay thirty-eight years at the pool of Bethesda. Oh, if he gave his mercy fo willingly to them that did not alk it, and was found of them that fought him not, will he deny mercy to my foul that is crying for it.

There is but a step between me and death; Lord, feal my pardon to me, before I go hence and be no more. O draw nigh to me, and fave me for my foul is full of trouble, and my life draweth nigh unto the grave. Thy loving-kindness is better than life; O make me fure of that, and I will willingly part with this mortal life.

O thou who willeft not that any should perif, but that all fhould come to repentance; be pleased to make ufe of the chaffifement of my body, as a medicine to cure my foul, and bring me to a true and fincere repentance. One day is with thee as a thousand years; O work in me in this, which may be my laft day, whatfoever thou feeft wanting in me. Enable me to prefent unto thee the facrifice of a broken and contrite heart, which thou haft promised not to defpife. Give a true and lively faith in the bleffed Jefus, who is the propitiation for our fins. He was wounded for our tranfgreffions,

1

greffions, he was bruifed for our iniquities, the chaftifement of our peace was upon him; O heal me by his ftripes. Let the cry of his blood drown the clamour of my fins. I am indeed a child of wrath, but Christ is the Son of thy love; O pity me for his fake, and let my foul find fanctuary in his wounds.

O Lord, the waters of affliction are come in even unto my foul; O let the Spirit of God move on those waters, that, like the pool of Bethefda, they may cure whatever fpiritual diseases thou feeft in me. O Lord, confider my affliction, accept my tears, affuage my pain, increase my patience, and finifh my troubles. Correct me with the chastisement of a Father, and not with the wounds of an enemy, and though thou take not off thy rod, Lord take away thine anger.

Lord, the prince of this world cometh, O let him have nothing in me; but, as he accufeth, do thou ab. folve. I have nothing to fay for myself, but be thou my advocate, Lord; and do thou anfwer for me. I am clothed with filthy garments, and Satan ftands at my right hand to refift me; O Lord rebuke him, and pluck me as a brand out of the fire. Cause mine iniquities to pafs from me, and clothe me with the righteousness of thy dear Son. I know, O Lord, that no unclean thing can enter into thy kingdom, and thou feeft I am nothing but pollution; yea, my very righteousness is filthy rags: O wash me, and make me white in the blood of the Lamb, that I may be fit to ftand before thy throne. O take me from the tents of Kedar to the mansions of light and purity. When my earthly houfe of this tabernacle is diffolved, O let me have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. O bring my foul out of prison, that I may eternally give thanks unto thy name. AMEN.