I won't inflict on you the category

Of all who've tried to get me for their own,

But only here and there, to fit my story,

Note such and such, most worthy to be known;

Relating how my ruin first was planned,

And thieves have passed me down from hand to hand.

You'll think it past belief, but once I started

Off at full gallop of my own accord,

And right across the whole known world I darted,
Till overhaste betrayed me,-I was floored :
My equilibrium lost, I lay extended

This way and that, and so the matter ended.
A grand confusion followed: o'er me surged
A flood of every race and savage fashion,
Tumbling from all outlandish quarters, urged

By a priest's counsel, or a demon's passion;
One seized me by the instep, one the calf,
And jeering cried, "Who'll get the bigger half?"
The priest, despite his cloth, to try the boot
Upon his own account showed some desire,
But, finding that I did not suit his foot,

Hither and thither let me out on hire:
Now to the earliest bidder in the mart
'He yields me, acting but the boot-jack's part.
To wrestle with the priest, and plant his heel

Firm in me, came a German full of bluster;

But oft to bear him home, as turned the wheel,

Those heels were forced their utmost speed to muster: He tried and tried enough to gall his foot,

But never yet could pull on all the boot.

Left for a century upon the shelf,

A simple trader next I'll name who wore me,
Gave me a blacking, made me stir myself,

And o'er the sea to Eastern climates bore me,
In rough condition, but a perfect whole,
And set with good hob-nails about the sole.
My merchant friend, grown rich, a fitting act
Deemed it to deck me out with greater cost;
Tassels and golden spurs were on me tacked,

But something of solidity was lost;

And in the long run, finding out the difference,
For those good primitive nails I own a preference.
You could not find in me a crack or wrinkle
When I one day a Western rascal saw
Leap from his galley plump upon my ankle,

And try to clutch it with his little claw;
But fair and softly-two could play that game;
One vesper at Palermo, he went lame.

Among the other foreign dilettanti,

A certain King of Spades with all his might Would pull me on-but while he toiled and panted Found himself planté ld in sorry plight;

A capon, jealous of the hen-roost, crowed
And threatened to alarm the neighbourhood.

In those same times, my fortune's underminer,
Cunningly bent its ruin to complete,
Sprang from his shop a certain Mediciner,
Who next, to make me easy to his feet,
And profitable wearing, spun a thread

Of plots and frauds that o'er three centuries spread.
He smoothed me, decked me out with tinsel, rubbed
Unguents and humbugs in at such a rate,
My very leather into holes was scrubbed,
And all who since have meddled with
Set about tinkering me by the receipt
Of that same school of black and vile deceit.

my fate

Thus harassed, tossed about from hand to hand,
The aim and object of a harpy-swarm,

I felt a Frank and Spaniard take their stand,

Contending which could prove the stronger arm; At length Don Quixote bore me off, but found me Crushed out of shape with all the blows around me. Those who beheld me on his foot have told me

This Spaniard wore me in most evil style;
He smeared me o'er with paint and varnish, called me
Most noble, most illustrious; but the file
He worked by stealth, and only left me more
Ragged and tattered than I was before.

Still half-way down me grew, in vermeil coloured,
One lily, token of departed splendour;

But this a shameless Pope, of birth dishonoured
(To whom all glory may the Devil render),
Gave the barbarians, making compact base

To crown a scion of his guilty race.

Well, from that moment each one at his will

With awl and shears in cobbler-craft might dabble

And so from frying-pan to fire I fell;

Viceroys, police, and all that sort of rabble,

To grind me down struck out a new idea,
Et diviserunt vestimenta mea.

Thus clutched alternately by paw of famished
Or vicious beast in rude and clumsy revel,
That old impression by degrees had vanished
Of well-cut feet, firm planted on the level,
Such as without a single step perverse
Had borne me safely round the universe.

Ah me! poor boot, I have been led astray,
I own it now, by this most foolish notion,
While yet to walk or run I had free play,

By stranger legs I would be put in motion,
Nor from my mind the dangerous dream could pluck,
That change of limb would bring me change of luck.

I feel-I own it-but withal I now
Find myself in so damaged a condition,
The very ground seems to give way below
If I attempt one step on self-volition;
Long subject to false guides, both great and small,
I've lost the faculty to move at all.

My greatest grievance, though, to priests is owing—
A sect malignant, void of all discretion;
And certain poets, race degenerate, growing

Mere hypocrites, who flatter by profession.
Say what you please, the Canon-laws prohibit
That priests in mundane boots their legs exhibit.

And here I am, meanwhile, threadbare, despised,
Tattered on every side, all mud and mire;
Still for some kind limb's advent, well advised
To shake me out and smooth me, I aspire:
No French or German leg, you understand;
I want one grown upon my native land.

A certain worthy's once I took on trial;
Alas! my hero would a-wandering go,
Or might have boasted his, without denial,

The stoutest boot in the whole world's dépôt;
Ah! crooked courses! down the snowdrift came,
Freezing his limbs, ere half played out the game.

Patched up again after the ancient style,

And once more carried to the skinning place, I, of prodigious worth and weight erewhile,

Scarce my original leather now can trace:
Look you, to piece these various holes of mine
There's something wanting more than tacks and twine.

Both toil and cost it needs, nor too much haste;
Each separate shred must be resewn together;
The mud cleaned off, the stout old nails replaced,
Smoothed into shape both calf and upper leather:
Let this be done, I'll thank you from my heart;
But, oh! take care who plays the workman's part!

Look at me, also, on this side I'm blue,

There red and white, and up here black and yellow;—

A very harlequin of chequered hue;

To make my tone harmonious and mellow,

Remodel me discreetly (may I hint?)

All in one piece, and one prevailing tint.

Search diligently if the world supplies

A man, I care not what, so not a coward ;

And, when in me his foot securely lies,

If any prig peer in with schemes untoward

Of practising once more the usual quacking,

We'll pay him off with kicks, and send him packing.

LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY,

No. 1, OLD BROAD STREET, LONDON.

SECURITY.--The Assured are protected from the liabilities attaching to Mutual Assurance by a Fund of a Million and a Half Sterling, of which nearly a Million is actually invested, one-third in Government Securities, and the remainder in first-class Debentures and Mortgages in Great Britain.

PROFITS.-Four-fifths, or Eighty per Cent. of the Profits are assigned to Policies every fifth year. The Assured are entitled to participate after Payment of One Premium.

PURCHASE OF POLICIES.-A liberal allowance is made on the surrender of a Policy, either by a Cash Payment or the issue of a Policy free of Premium.

CLAIMS.-The Company has disbursed in Payment of Claims and additions upwards of £1,500,000.

PROPOSALS FOR INSURANCES may be made at the Chief Office, as above; at the Branch Office, 16, Pall Mall, London; or to any of the Agents throughout the kingdom.

SAMUEL INGALL, ACTUARY.

FENDERS, STOVES, FIRE-IRONS,

AND CHIMNEY-PIECES.

Buyers of the above are requested, before finally deciding, to visit
WILLIAM S. BURTON'S SHOW-ROOMS.

They contain such an assortment of FENDERS, STOVES, RANGES, CHIMNEYPIECES, FIRE-IRONS, and GENERAL IRONMONGERY as cannot be approached elsewhere, either for variety, novelty, beauty of design, or exquisiteness of workmanship. Bright Stoves, with ormolu ornaments and two sets of bars, 57. 158. to 331. 108.; bronzed Fenders, with standards, 7s. to 5l. 128.; steel Fenders, 27. 15s. to 117.; ditto, with rich ormolu ornaments, 27. 158. to 187.; Chimney-pieces, from 11. 88. to 80l.; Fire Irons, from 28. 3d. the set to 41. 48. The BURTON and all other PATENT STOVES, with radiating hearth-plates.

W

IRON

ILLIAM S. BURTON'S GENERAL FURNISHING MONGERY CATALOGUE may be had gratis, and free by post. It contains upwards of 400 Illustrations of his illimited Stock of Sterling Silver and Electro Plate, Nickel Silver and Britannia Metal Goods, Dish Covers, Hot Water Dishes, Stoves, Fenders, Marble Chimneypieces, Kitchen Ranges, Lamps, Gaseliers, Tea Trays, Urns, and Kettles, Clocks, Table Cutlery, Baths, Toilet Ware, Turnery, Iron and Brass Bedsteads, Bedding, Bedroom Cabinet Furniture, &c., with Lists of Prices and Plans of the Twenty large Show Rooms, at

39, Oxford Street, W.; 1, 1A, 2, 3, and 4, Newman Street; and 4, 5, and 6, Perry's Place, and 1, Newman's Mews, London.

ESTABLISHED 1820.

ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE

CONTAINS

Designs and Prices of 150 different articles of
Bed-room Furniture, as well as of 100 Bedsteads,
and Prices of every description of Bedding.
SENT FREE BY POST.

HEAL AND SON,
Bedstead, Bedding, and Bed-room
Furniture Manufacturers,

196, TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD,

LONDON.

SLACK'S NICKEL ELECTRO PLATE IS A COATING OF PURE SILVER OVER NICKEL, MANUFACTURED SOLELY BY R. AND J. SLACK.

It has stood twenty years" test, and still retains its

Electro-Plated
Fiddle Pattern.

durability and silver.
Strong-Plated
Fiddle Pattern.
£1 18 0

superiority over all others for

Table Forks, per dozen... £1 10 0
Dessert Forks................ 1 0 0
Table Spoons

Dessert Spoons............... 1 00
Tea Spoons.

£2 8 0

0 0

1 10 0

220 300

0 12 0
Every Article for the Table as in Silver.

0 18 0

100

OLD GOODS REPLATED EQUAL TO NEW.

1

3 6

SLACK'S FENDER, FIRE-IRON, AND GENERAL FURNISHING IRONMONGERY WAREHOUSE. Families Furnishing will find it to their advantage to inspect the Stock and compare the prices.

A Set of Kitchen Furniture suitable for moderate size house, £4 118. 11d.
The Greatest Variety of Dish Covers in London, from 188. set of six.
Every article in Furnishing Ironmongery at equally low prices; all marked in plain Figures, and
Warranted. The money returned for any article not approved of,
Orders above £2, Carriage Free, per Rail.

RICHARD AND JOHN SLACK,
336, STRAND, OPPOSITE SOMERSET HOUSE.

Slack's Catalogue with 350 Engravings Gratis, or Post Free.