The Dramatic Works of Shakespeare

There they stand yet; and modestly I think,
The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost

A drop of Grecian blood. The end crowns all;
And that old common arbitrator, time,
Will one day end it.

Ulys. So to him we leave it.

Most gentle, and most valiant Hector, welcome!
After the general, I beseech you next
To feast with me, and see me at my tent.
Achil. I shall forestall thee, lord Ulysses, thou!
Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee;
I have with exact view perus'd thee, Hector,
And quoted joint by joint.

Hect. Is this Achilles?

Achil. I am Achilles.

Hect. Stand fair, I pray thee: let me look on thee! Achil. Behold thy fill!

Hect. Nay, I have done already.

Achil. Thou art too brief; I will the second time,
As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb.
Hect. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er;
But there's more in me, than thou understand'st.
Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye?
Achil. Tell me, you heavens, in which part of his
body

Shall I destroy him? whether there, there, or there?
That I may give the local wound a name,
And make distinct the very breach, whereout
Hector's great spirit flew. Answer me, heavens!
Hect. It would discredit the bless'd gods, proud man,
To answer such a question. Stand again!
Think'st thou to catch my life so pleasantly,
As to prenominate in nice conjecture,
Where thou wilt hit me dead?

Achil. I tell thee, yea.

Hect. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, I'd not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well! For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; But, by the forge, that stithied Mars his helm, I'll kill thee every where, yea, o'er and o'er. You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag, His insolence draws folly from my lips!

But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words, may I never

Ajax. Do not chafe thee, cousin!—

And

you, Achilles, let these threats alone, Till accident, or purpose, bring you to't: You may have every day enough of Hector,

you have stomach; the general state, I fear, Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him. Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field! We have had pelting wars, since you refus'd The Grecians' cause.

Achil. Dost thou entreat me, Hector?
To-morrow, do I meet thee, fell as death;

To-night, all friends.

Hect. Thy hand upon that match!'

Enter THERSITRS.

Achil. How now, thou core of envy,
Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news?
Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and
idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
Achil. From whence, fragment?

Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.
Patr. Who keeps the tent now?

Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?

Ther. Pr'ythee, be silent, boy! I profit not by thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet. Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?

Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt- rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled feesimple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou,what meanest thou to curse thus?

Ther. Do I curse thee?

Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies, diminutives of nature! Patr. Out, gall!

Ther. Finch-egg!

Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.

Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my tent! Here is a letter from queen Hecuba,

There in the full convive we: afterwards,

As Hector's leisure and your bounties shall
Concur together, severally entreat him. -
Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow,
That this great soldier may his welcome know!
[Exeunt all but Troilus and Ulysses.
Tro. My lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,
In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?
Ulys. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus!
There Diomed doth feast with him to-night,
Who neither looks upon the heaven, nor earth,
But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view
On the fair Cressid.

Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so much, After we part from Agamemnon's tent,

A token from her daughter, my fair love,
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep
An oath, that I have sworn. I will not break it.
Fall, Greeks! fail, fame! honour, or go, or stay!
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent!
This night in banqueting must all be spent. -
Away, Patroclus! [Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus.
Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain,
these two may run mad; but if with too much brain,
and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of mad-
men. Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough,
and one that loves quails; but he has not so much
brain, as ear-wax: and the goodly transformation of
Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive

statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox; to an ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a litchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not, what I would be, if I were not Thersites ; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day! spirits and fires!

Hect. Thanks,and good night,to the Greeks' general! Men. Good night, my lord!

Heet. Good night, sweet Menelaus!

Ther. Sweet draught! Sweet, quoth'a! sweet sink,

And let your mind be coupled with your words!
Tro. What should she remember?
Ulys. List!

[Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two!

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now. Good night, great Hector! Hect. Give me your hand!

Ulys. Follow his torch, he goes
To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.
[Aside to Troilus.

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.
Hect. And so good night!

Cres. Sweet honey Creek,tempt me no more to folly!
Ther. Roguery!

Dio. Nay, then,

Cres. I'll tell you what.

Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin. You are for

Tro. Hold, patience!

Ulys. How now, Trojan?
Cres. Diomed,

Dio. No, no, good night! I'll be your fool no more.
Tro. Thy better must.

Cres. Hark! one word in your ear!
Tro. O plague and madness!

Ulys. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I pray

[Exit Diomed; Ulysses and Troilus fol- I will not speak a word!
lowing.
Dio. And so, good night!
Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
Tro. Doth that grieve thee?
O wither'd truth!

Achil. Come, come, enter my tent!

[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him, when he leers, than I will a serpent, when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the suu borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. - Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!

[Exit.

Ulys. Why, how now, lord?
Tro. By Jove,
will be patient.

Cres. Guardian!-why, Greek!
Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter!
Cres. In faith, 1 do not; come hither once again
Ulys. You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?
You will break out.

Tro. She strokes his cheek!
Ulys. Come, come!
Tro. Nay, stay! by Jove, I will not speak a word!
There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience;
stay a little while!
Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump,and
potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery,

Calchas, I think. Where's your fry!

Cal. [Within.] She comes to you.
Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after

them THERSITES.

Ulys. Stand, where the torch may not discover us!
Enter CRESSIDA.

Tro. Cressid come forth to him!
Dio. How now, my charge?

Dio. But will you then?

Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else!
Div. Give me some token for the surety of it!
Cres. I'll fetch you one.
[Ban

Ulys. You have sworn patience.
Tro. Fear me not, my lord!

I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter CRESSIDA.
Ther. Now the pledge; now, now, now!
Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve !
Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith?
Ulys. My lord, —

Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will.

Cres. You look upon that sleeve; behold it well!— He lov'd me- O false wench!-Give't me again. Dio. Who was't?

Cres. No matter, now I have't again.

I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
I pr'ythee, Diomed, visit me no more!

Ther. Now she sharpens. --Well said, whetstone.
Dio. I shall have it.
Cres. What, this?
Dio. Ay, that.

Cres. O, all you gods! O pretty pretty pledge!
Thy master now lies thinking in his bed

Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,

As I kiss thee.- Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He, that takes that, must take my heart withal.
Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it.
Tro. I did swear patience.

Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed: 'faith, you
shall not;

I'll give you something else.

Dio. I will have this; whose was it?

Cres. 'Tis no matter.

Dio. Come, tell me whose it was.

Tro. Why, my negation hath no taste of madness.
Ulys. Nor mine, my lord! Cressid was here but now.
Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood!
Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage
To stubborn critics-apt, without a theme,
For depravation, to square the general sex
By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid.
Ulys. What hath she done, prince, that can soil
our mothers?

Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she.
Ther. Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?
Tro. This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida :
If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimony,
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
If there be rule in unity itself,

This was not she. O madness of discourse,
That cause sets up with and against itself!
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid!
Within my soul there doth commence a fight
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate

Cres. 'Twas one's that lov'd me better, than you will. Divides more wider, than the sky and earth;
But, now you have it, take it.

Dio. Whose was it?

Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder,
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm;
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.
Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st it on thy horn,
I should be challeng'd.

Cres. Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past! — and yet it is not;

I will not keep my word.

Dio. Why then, farewell!

Thou never shalt mock Diomed again!

one cannot speak a word,

Cres. You shall not go:

Dio. I do not like this fooling.

But it straight starts you.

And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifice for a point, as subtle
As is Arachne's broken woof, to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolv'd, and loos'd;
And with another knot, five-finger tied,
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy reliques
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
Ulys. May worthy Troilus be half-attach'd
With that which here his passion doth express?
Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged well
In characters as red, as Mars his heart
Inflam'd with Venus; never did young man fancy

Ther. Nor I, by Pluto: but that, that likes not you, With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.

pleases me best.

Dio. What, shall I come? the hour?

Cres. Ay, come! - O Jove!

Do come! I shall be plagu'd.

Hark, Greek! - As much as I do Cressid love,
So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
That sleeve is mine, that he'll bear on his helm;
Were it a casque compos'd by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout,
Which shipmen do the hurricano call,
Constring'd in mass by the almighty sun,
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
In his descent, than shall my prompted sword
Falling on Diomed.

Ther. He'll-tickle it for his concupy.

Tro. O Cressid! O false Cressid! false, false, false!
Let all untruths stand by thy stained name,
And they'll seem glorious.

Ulys. O, contain yourself;
Your passion draws ears hither.
Enter AENEAS.

Aene. I have been seeking you this hour, my lord!
Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy;

Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.
Tro. Have with you, prince! My courteous lord,
adieu!-

Farewell, revolted fair!-and, Diomed,
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
Ulys. I'll bring you to the gates.

Tro. Accept distracted thanks.

Tro. Who should withhold me?
[Exeunt Troilus, Aeneas, and Ulysses. Not fate, obedience, nor the land of Mars
Ther. 'Would, I could meet that rogue Diomed! 1 Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire;
would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Not Priamus and Hecuba on knees,
Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence Their eyes o'ergalled with recourse of tears;
of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an al- Nor you, my brother, with your true sword drawn,
mond, than he for a commodious drab. Lechery,leche-Oppos'd to hinder me, should stop my way,
ry; still wars and lechery; nothing elso holds fa- But by my ruin.
shion. A burning devil take them!
[Exit.

SCENE III.Troy. Before PRIAM's palace.
Enter HECTOR and ANDROMACHE.
And.When was my lord so much ungently temper'd,
To stop his ears against admonishment?
Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day!

Hect. You train me to offend you; get you in;
By all the everlasting gods, I'll go !

And. My dreams will, sure, prove ominous to the day.
Hect. No more, I say!

Enter CASSANDRA.

Cas. Where is my brother Hector?

And. Here, sister; arm'd, and bloody in intent:
Consort with me in loud and dear petition,
Pursue we him on knees; foe I have dream'd
Of bloody turbulence, and this whole night
Hath nothing been but shapes and forms of slaughter.
Cas. O, it is true.

Hect. Ho! bid my trumpet sound!

Cas.No uotes of sally, for the heavens, sweet brother!
Hect. Begone, I say! the gods have heard me swear.
Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows;
They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd
Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.

And. O! be persuaded: do not count it holy
To hurt by being just: it is as lawful,
For we would give much, to use violent thefts,
And rob in the behalf of charity.

Re-enter CASSANDRA, with PRIAM.
Cus. Lay hold upon him, Priam, hold him fast!
He is thy crutch; now if thou lose thy stay,
Thou on him leaning, and all Troy on thee,
Fall all together.

Cas. It is the purpose, that makes strong the vow;
But vows, to every purpose, must not hold :
Unarm, sweet Hector!

Hect. Hold you still, I say!

Mine honour keeps the weather of my fate:
Life every man holds dear; but the dear man
Holds honour far more precious-dear, than life.—
Enter TROILUS.

Pri. Come, Hector, come, go back!

Thy wife hath dream'd; thy mother hath had visions;
Cassandra doth foresee; and I myself
Am like a prophet suddenly enrapt,
To tell thee- that this day is ominous:
Therefore, come back!

Hect. Aeneas is a-field;

And I do stand engag'd to many Greeks,
Even in the faith of valour, to appear
This morning to them.

How now, young man? mean'st thou to fight to-day?
And. Cassandra, call my father to persuade.
[Exit Cassandra.
Hect. No, 'faith, young Troilus; doff thy harness,
youth,

I am to-day i'the vein of chivalry:
Let grow thy sinews till their knots be strong,
And tempt not yet the brushes of the war.
Unarm thee, go! and doubt thou not, brave boy,
I'll stand, to-day, for thee, and me, and Troy.
Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in you,
Which better fits a lion, than a man.

Pri. But thou shalt not go.
Hect. I must not break my faith.
You know me dutiful; therefore, dear sir,
Let me not shame respect; but give me leave
To take that course by your consent and voice,
Which you do here forbid me, royal Priam!
Cas. O Priam, yield not to him!
And. Do not, dear father!
Hect. Andromache, I am offended with you:
Upon the love you bear me, get you in!
[Exit Andromache.
Tro. This foolish, dreaming, superstitions girl

Makes all these bodements.

Cas. O farewell, dear Hector!

Look, how thou diest! look, how thy eye turns pale!
Look, how thy wounds do bleed at many vents!
Hark, how Troy roars! how Hecuba cries out!
How poor Andromache shrills her dolours forth!
Behold, destruction, frenzy, and amazement,
Like witless anticks, one another meet,
And all cry: Hector! Hector's dead! O, Hector!
Tro. Away!-Away!·

Cas. Farewell! yes, soft:
leave:

- Hector, I take my Thou dost thyself and all our Troy deceive

Hect. Troilus, I would not have you fight to-day.

[Exit.

Tro. Let me read.

Pan. A whoreson phthisic,a whoreson rascally phthi sic so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of this girl; and what one thing, what another, that I shall leave you one o'these days: and I have a rheum in mine eyes too; and such an ache in my boues, that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell what to think on't. — What says she there? Tro. Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart; [Tearing the letter.

SCENE IV.

[Exeunt Severally

Enter NESTOR.

Nest. Go, bear Patroclus' body to Achilles;
And bid the snail-paè'd Ajax arm for shame. -
There is a thousand Hectors in the field:
Now here he fights on Galathe his horse,
And there lacks work; anon, he's there afoot,
And there they fly, or die, like scaled sculls
Before the belching whale; then is he yonder,
And there the strawy Greeks, ripe for his edge,
Fall down before him, like the mower's swath:
Here, there, and every where, he leaves, and takes;
Dexterity so obeying appetite,

· Between Troy and the Grecian Camp. Alarums: Excursions. Enter THERSITES. Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's sleeve of Troy there, in his helm: would fain see them meet; that that same Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, Ulys. O, courage, courage, princes! great Achilles back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleeve- Is arming, weeping, cursing, vowing vengeance: less errand. O'the other side, the policy of those Patroclus' wounds have rous'd his drowsy blood, crafty swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eat-Together with his mangled Myrmidons,

That what he will, he does; and does so much,
That proof is call'd impossibility.
Enter ULYSSES.

en dry cheese, Nestor; and that same dog-fox, That noseless, handless, hack'd and chipp'd, come Ulysses, is not proved worth a blackberry. They to him,

set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against Crying on Hector. Ajax hath lost a friend, that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles: and now is the And foams at mouth, and he is arm'd, and at it, cur Ajax prouder, than the cur Achilles, and will not Roaring for Troilus; who hath done to-day arm to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to pro- Mad and fantastic execution; claim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opi-Engaging and redeeming of himself, nion. Soft! here come sleeve, and t'other.

Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following.

Tro. Fly not! for, shouldst thou take the river
Styx,

I would swim after.

Dio. Thou dost miscall retire:

I do not fly; but advantageous care

Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:
Have at thee!

Ther. Hold thy whore, Grecian! now for thy whore, Trojan! -now the sleeve, now the sleeve! [Exeunt Troilus and Diomedes, fighting. Enter HECTOR.

Hect. What art thou, Greek? art thou for Hector's match?

Art thou of blood, and honour?

Ther. No, no: I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave; a very filthy rogue.

Hect. I do believe thee; - live! [Exit. Ther. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a plague break thy neck, for frightening me! What's become of the wenching rogues? I think, they have swallowed one another: I would laugh at that miracle. Yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I'll seek them. [Exit.

With such a careless force, and forceless care,
As if that luck, in very spite of cunning,
Bade him win all.

Enter AJAX.

Achil. Now do I see thee. Ha! Have at thee,
Hector!

Hect. Pause, if thou wilt.

Achil. I do disdain thy courtesy, proud Trojan.
Be happy, that my arms are out of use:
My rest and negligence befriend thee now,
But thou anon shalt hear of me again;
Till when, go seek thy fortune.

Hect. Fare thee well!

[Exit.

I would have been much more a fresher man,
Had I expected thee. How now, my brother?

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