at the same time that living and dying so I must perish, yet lightness of spirit, and hardness of heart, that could not relent, beset me, and yet I used to mourn and grieve at my hard fate, for I could see no ground for hope; for when I went on my knees to try to pray, I could scarce get a word from my mouth, much less from my heart; and then I used to neglect it, for I thought I should never be heard: then gloomy dejections overwhelmed me, for I found no faith to believe that I ever should be heard; but when I did neglect prayer, conscience would so condemn me, that at times I was almost distracted. There are two things which have distrest me not a little; the one is, when I was under such horror of soul I could not endure to read any book that was alarming; for when I did, Sir, I found such dreadful malice against it, that I could have thrown it into the fire, or have torn it in a thousand pieces. And can you believe it, that after these horrors wore off, I have had less ground for hope than I had in the midst of the storm; for when I read in that lifeless state, I have been so confused that I have been forced to read one thing over two or three times before I could tell the meaning of it; and had such a natural dislike to it, that grieved me more than all my distress. I have been, Sir, just like a child that hated his book, and wanted whipping to it; and as I could find no person that had been exercised with these things, I concluded it was singular, and was ready to give up

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all hopes of ever coming forth, till within a few months back, when I begged of God to deliver me from this dreadful lifeless state; and, blessed be his glorious name, he has done it; for I found my doubts and fears removed a little under Mr. J. the sabbath-day before you preached at L. last; but, O Sir! when you preached your last sermon on Thursday evening, a day much to be remembared by me; oh, my dear Sir! I could see eye to eye with you, for I could see that it was God that had cast me down, and not man, for I felt a lively hope, and a strong persuasion that the Lord would bring me through, for my doubts and fears were all removed, and a great calm came into my soul, and my conscience left off to accuse me, and I have felt God's blessed Spirit speaking to me ever since. This day I heard that dear man of God, Mr. J. and the best discourse to me that ever I heard from his mouth, for the Lord shined sweetly into my heart: I could not help saying, My Lord, and my Saviour. Oh, Sir! I could write ten times more, was my paper larger. And now, Sir, I beg an answer as soon as it suits you, for I shall wait with impatience. So farewell, dear Sir; and may God bless you, is the prayer of,

S. Y.

P. S. I make no doubt but you will laugh at my long scrawl.

LETTER XXII.

To S. Y.

DEAR SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS,

THY

HY simple epistle came safe to me, and I thank my God for his kindness to thee. Wonderful, various, and intricate, are the ways and works of God with poor sinners; and we are too blind and ignorant to make them out, until the Comforter comes to testify of Christ to us, to lead us into all truth, and to glorify Jesus in the discoveries of his dying love, and in his great salvation made known to our souls; then the blessed Spirit, who searches the deep things of God, searches out the deep things of our hearts, and shews us the way we have come, and what he hath been doing within; the hand of God upon us, and the blessed end that God had in view, namely, to make us feel the need of a precious Christ; and that he might lead us to him, and reveal him in us, even when there is no eye to pity, no hand to help.

Light and life have entered into thy heart, my daughter; the Sun is risen upon thee, and the promised healing in his beams hath been communicated to thee: the Lord is thine everlasting light, and thy God thy glory. O! what debtors are such poor, blind, rebellious souls as we to the

God of all grace, mercy, and peace! who saves the chiefest of all sinners, owns and gives testimony to the word of his grace by the mouth of the most despicable of all instruments, and pours out his Spirit even upon servants and upon handmaids; but his own sheep must know their own shepherd, they must hear his voice and live. All that ever came to thy heart before him, were thieves and robbers; friends to Satan, rivals to the Son of God, debauchers of the Lord's bride, and secret enemies to the bridegroom: they espouse souls to themselves, and zealously affect them, that they may exclude their affections from Christ; they had drest thee up in a sheep's skin, in order to betray thee into the hand of Satan, that thou mightest be damned as an hypocrite in Zion. Mr. Jenkins has acted the honest and faithful part, as a real friend of the Bridegroom should do: he has plucked off thy well-set hair, thy curious girdle, thy stomacher, thy beautiful ornaments, the ornaments of thy legs, the wimples, crisping-pins, and nose jewels, and has sent thee in thy true colours to the heir of all things, to the Most High God, possessor of heaven and earth, that he may display the riches of his grace in thee, and draw all the affections of thy heart and soul to himself; and he that seeks the honour of him that sent him, and not his own, is a true and faithful servant of the King of kings and Lord of lords. I bless my God that he hath raised me up so faithful a fellow-servant, and that

he should condescend to own and honour him in the glorious work; and may the Lord make thee an ornament to his cause, a living stone in his building, an honour to Zion, and a crown of joy and rejoicing to the pastor that God hath set over thee, is the prayer and desire of,

MANY and sincere thanks to my most beloved friend for his epistle, which I received this morning; fraught with power, light, wisdom, knowledge, love, experience, truth, and condescension to them of low degree. How powerful and savoury I found it! Indeed it is such as this my soul loveth. How much does such as this differ from the noisy, flimsy, and flourishing harangues of the day! O, my father, you know there are but few in the secret; and I am sure of it. The mystery is hid from them: but it is revealed unto babes;