work, and has given me a little understanding in his word, where that work has been described, to make it more manifest, so that I could say, "In thy light we see light." At other times, what has been passing within has been so sweetly described and brought forth from the pulpit, that although I had not sufficient judgment nor understanding in the word to make it out myself, yet it has been all so clearly set before me, and the power of it so exactly experienced in my soul, that it has greatly comforted and established me, and I have gone on my way rejoicing in hope. And, though my memory could scarcely carry away ten words of what had been said, yet this did not, after a time, so much trouble me as before, knowing that I felt the substance of these things, and that the kingdom of God standeth not in word, but in power. And here I cannot help noticing, that formerly, when in a dead profession, I could talk readily upon any subject in religion, and at any season; but now that seems to be taken from me, so that sometimes I am so childish that I can hardly express my own meaning, or describe my own feelings. Yet, to the praise of free grace, I can say I have been enlightened to see that in Christ Jesus is perfect and complete salvation, and that the blessed Redeemer, with all his saving benefits, is the free gift of God. I have been quickened to feel my own need, and find that in him there is every thing that my necessities, or the glory of God, can require. To this rock the Holy Spirit

has led me; on this only my hopes of salvation are fixed, and hereto by faith I have been enabled to run for refuge to lay hold on the hope set before me. And though my faith is weak, and my unbelief great, yet for my encouragement it is declared, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, and he that cometh to him shall in no wise be cast out; this is the foundation that God has laid in Zion, against which the gates of hell shall never prevail, and that those who build thereon shall never be ashamed or confounded world without end. Therefore, though faint, I am still kept pursuing, and am persuaded God will never suffer me to rest until I receive the end of my faith, even the salvation of my soul. And, as the daily warfare continues, and strength is administered accordingly, I do at times find that by these means my soul has grown in stability, even when the sensible enjoyment of comfort is withheld; so that, as the apostle declares, though these things, for the present, are not joyous, but grievous, yet they work out the peaceable fruits of righteousness in them that are exercised thereby, Heb.

xii. 11.

Before I conclude, I wish to mention a few more particulars, which are as follow. I have sometimes been very dead and barren in soul, both in private and in public ordinances. The influences of the blessed Spirit seemed to have been withdrawn; the light of God's countenance hid; no faith in exercise, nor evidence of my interest

in the better covenant; I have gone on mourning and heavily crying, "My leanness, my leanness, wo unto me." Then unbelief, carnal reasonings, and hard thoughts of God, have succeeded, until it appeared as if all hope must give up the ghost, and confidence be rooted out; my footsteps had well nigh slipped, and the enemy would carry all before him. And so I know he would if it was left to my management; but, when the north wind has awoke, and the south wind blown upon the garden, the spices thereof have again flown forth. Then hope has revived, faith has received new strength, and my heart has been drawn forth into thankfulness and praise. Then I have found sweet access to God in the faith of the great Mediator, and have even been enabled to claim him as my covenant God and Father, being manifested to be his child by faith in Christ Jesus; and if a son, then an heir of God, and joint heir with Christ. And, however short or seldom these seasons, yet, when I have enjoyed them, I could truly say I would not have exchanged them for all the world, if it could have been offered to me. Often has my waiting soul been supplied, my hungry soul fed, my dead soul quickened, my weary soul refreshed, my tried soul established, my weak soul strengthened, by the preaching of the word of grace; and one particular occasion, a few months back, I must more especially relate. I had been for several weeks in great bondage of spirit and darkness of mind, so that I was much cast down

and tossed with doubts, and troubled with fears, lest I should never again be brought up from the horrible pit and miry clay. It was on a Tuesday evening, when, setting off to the city chapel, I could not help saying, though almost in a desponding way, 'I hope I shall get something this evening, for the Lord knows I stand in need of it.' After being seated a few minutes in the chapel, before the public worship began, suddenly the scales, as it were, fell from my eyes; I saw that I had been looking for fruits in myself instead of him in whom alone our fruit is found; that a legal spirit had entwined itself around me, and that I had been nursing this cursed frame until the dear Redeemer was thrust into the back ground, and scarcely noticed; as sensibly as a porter can feel his burden thrown from his shoulders, so sensibly did I feel my soul lightened, and spring upwards in faith and affection to Jesus sitting at the right hand of God. Then the service of the evening commenced, and I was enabled to worship in spirit and in truth. Your text was, Psalm xlv. 13, "The King's daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is of wrought gold." And O! what did my soul experience that evening! I never can describe it fully. It seemed as if every word was intended for me, and for me only. It came in the demonstration of the Spirit, and with power. The inward glory was described from the word; I felt it within. The best robe, the clothing of wrought gold, the righteousness of the Redeemer, was

brought forth, and by faith I laid hold of it, and put him on as my surety. The king's daughter, the bride, the Lamb's wife, was the object of this grace; and, as a member of that mystical body, I had joy and peace in believing. Not that I could actually say I found my sins then purged away, and pardon sealed home upon my conscience; but, my soul having been long barred from access to God, a door of hope was now opened, into which I joyfully entered. I believed in hope, I rejoiced in hope; and truly did you then observe, that those who had experienced these things would not be left in the dark as to what you had been saying, but would be able to follow and keep pace with you in the same; and so I found it indeed. Nay, so wonderfully did the blessed Spirit then strengthen me, that I was enabled in many things to run before, and you followed with a powerful unction, and sweetly confirmed them. I wished the service to continue, lest in leaving the place I should lose what I had received; but the Lord the Spirit gave me a sweet savour and fresh revivals of the same kind, though not to the same degree, for many days after; yea, even to this day I often find both pleasure and profit in looking back, with David, to the hill Mizar; though these occasions, it is true, chiefly occur when it is a kind of fasting time and mourning with my soul, and when, for want of the green pastures being opened to me, or of faith and hope being exercised in looking out for a fresh supply, I am obliged to gather all