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all my sins in his own body on the tree. This continued promise upon promise, night and day, sleeping and waking, my soul was with him; yea, I claimed every promise in the Bible, I feared nothing, nor cared for nothing but the Lord Jesus Christ; he was my song night and day. The Lord did so abundantly bless my soul at times, that I have told him, though in ignorance, Lord, this is more than ever I asked for, and more than ever I expected; this is sufficient, I shall doubt no more, for this is beyond all that ever man could expect or desire. But still the lord continued it; for I was, I believe, near a twelvemonth in this state; and, bless the Lord for ever, he has not left me without a feeling sense of it to this day; for whenever the Lord the Spirit is pleased to lead my views to the atonement, and I can view Jesus suffering for me, my heart is broke; and I cannot help it, whether it be under the word preached, or reading the Bible, or on my knees, or at my work, I am often wondered at. But to see what he has saved me from, the vilest of all wretches living: oh! that I could live more to the honour and glory of his blessed name ! A little before the Lord was pleased to bring me into trial of that faith he had given me, I had a vision, which I never shall forget while in the flesh, and I will endeavour, as the Lord shall enable me, to describe it. I went on my knees one morning, according to custom, before I went about my daily employ, and found great nearness to the Lord in prayer; but all on a sudden I was caught away in my mind, forgetting I was on my knees, and viewed myself in a bright shining cloud that the sun was ready to shine. through; I lay on my side in the cloud with my eyes fixed on some writing which lay at the bottom of it. At this time I was pleading with the Lord his promises; telling him of his promised blessings, his faithfulness, goodness, mercy, and love; my eyes were fixed on the writing as if they had been these words applied, “Believest thou this?” I would break out and say, Yes, Lord, I do believe that thou wilt be faithful to all that thou hast promised. I would plead again. The word was the same in my mind, “Believest thou this?” I still told him I did believe it. This was applied several times. I was then led to see my vileness, and this passage of scripture was brought to my mind; “I am a man of unclean lips; my: eyes have seen the king, the Lord of Hosts.” But when I came to myself I was in a comical posture, for my head was turned round on my shoulder, and I was very wet, I suppose with tears; but this did not work a slavish fear in my heart, for as yet my soul was alive to the Lord Jesus. But I considered what it all could mean; and, soon after this, the Lord by little and little began to withdraw his comfortable presence; I could not have communion with him as usual; I sought him with all my soul, but could not find his comfortable presence: I then began to find such blasphemous thoughts, and the corruptions

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of my heart began to ferment, no God apparently at hand, and unbelief stepping in, I began to call all in question, whether the work was of God or not? for this was what I never more expected to find. I then sat under Mr. W. whose chapel is near to Lincoln's Inn Fields; and, when I could not find the Lord, I sought to some of the established Christians, as I thought, who belonged to that church. Some told me, if they had experienced the love they had heard me speak of, they should never be in the state I was in: others said, I had forsaken their company, and I certainly must keep bad company. I then went to Mr. W. the minister, and he really laughed at me, and said I must look to Jesus. I told him I could not find him; and, said I, if I could but look to him I would not have come to you. In this state I laboured for I believe near six months, and nobody knows what I suffered but God and myself, except those that have felt the same. At times I have found my rebellion so stirred up, that I have secretly wished, as I have gone along the street, that somebody would come and stab me, and kill me out of my misery. I have jumped out of bed in the night when these blasphemous thoughts were hurled through me, gone on my knees, and prayed God, if I was not in the bond of the covenant, never to suffer me to get off my knees again, but send me to hell, where I deserved to go; but no answer. Sometimes I would get into a private place, go on my knees, with humbleness of heart, and cry thus, * Lord, decide this matter once more between Satan and me.’ I have broke out sometimes, ‘I do know the Lord, I am sure I do.’ I have argued with the devil an hour or two on a stretch. I have given all up to him of my experience, till I have come to my deliverance, where the Lord spoke peace to my soul; but I never could give up that, for, blessed be the Lord, he kept me, or Satan would have had his ends. Well, I was brought at last to this conclusion, now I will never, speak to any person more about my experience, for I believe there is nobody in the world knows any thing about it. ‘No,' says the devil, “you was never yet delivered, nor can you find any one person that was delivered from the bondage of the law ever brought into such a state as you are in.' Upon which I thus concluded: Well, if I belong to God, he will keep me from these evils; but if not, the devil will have his ends, for I am certain I cannot keep myself. In this forlorn state I went on; sometimes my heart as hard as a flint, and full of the fury of the devil; at intervals, some humblings, that I could in some measure pour it out to the Lord for a moment; then I was shut up again, and as hard as a stone Well, thought I, I shall go mourning all my days. But one Sunday morning as I was going to chapel, for I could not keep away, though I was under great temptations to do it, I was meditating, on my state; Thought I, is there nobody can sympathize with me, is there none that can point out my case? When these words were applied with power to my soul; “I will give you pastors after my own heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding,” I was persuaded in my own mind that it came from the Lord, and cried out, Lord, where are they? I can find none that know any thing of my experience.’ These words were fixed on my mind, and I used often to say, ‘Lord, where are they? However, soon after I saw a man and his wife, whom I had been acquainted with, coming from your chapel in Titchfield-street; I would have shunned them, but they called me; I thought , they should get nothing out of me. They asked me how I got on? I answered, Middling! But I believe they saw by my countenance where I was, and asked me why I did not go to hear Mr. Huntington? I replied, I did not know who to hear, nor where to go. They told me where you preached; I answered them lightly, but it was greatly impressed on my mind all the week; and when Sunday morning came I set off and found the chapel. I remember getting into one of the free seats, up in one corner, like a thief, that nobody might know me. I do not recollect the text you then preached from; but I heard attentively, which I had not done for some time before. I got away as soon as you had done, that I might not be seen by any one that knew me; for I had heard very evil things said of you, which I soon G

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