ADVENTURES OF A WELSH MEDICAL STUDENT.

FOUNDED ON FACT.

NO. I.

REFLECTIONS upon the past occurrences of an eventful life are so intermingled with pain, as well as pleasure, that it requires, in a debilitated frame, no little exertion of mental strength to produce a copious flow of those ideas which have reference to the career of youth. But, when once aroused from inaction, the mind embraces, with an extraordinary vividness of feeling, all the circumstances which formerly influenced it, and produces in the imagination a panoramic view of the scenes and situations which form the features of its past history, and casts a darkened shade or lustrous glow over the follies and vicissitudes of which it was the victim, and characterises all the minor traits of incident with a romantic expression, which, for a time, cherishes even the frigid heart of the man blighted by disappointment and enervated in health. But how much more vigorous are these reminiscences, when ambition ceases to influence, and the cancerous passions of evil are plucked from the bosom, and are succeeded by age and experience, and the luxurious operations of a peaceful and contented resignation. Thus the mind, in a pure and exalted state, cannot refrain from contrasting its past turmoil with its present placidity, and tracing the principles which produced its results. It probably leans, with the whole weight of conscious guilt, upon some one conspicuous era of early life, and retreats with repugnance and disgust from the one action which has subsequently become the bane of recollection, and the cause of years of repentance and remorse. Haunted by this demon, which assumes a variety of forms, according to the sphere in which we move, and presents itself whenever our prospects are most bright, with hope leading us exultingly forward, the spectral figure overshadows our path, and reminds us of mourning, despair, and death; and how many have sunk, in the prime of their age, when the blossoms of life had just ripened into fruit, and were receiving from the genial ray of social life the refined and mellow tint of manhood, arrayed in intellectual and physical comeliness. However philosophical a man's mind may be, or cheerful in its contemplation of the present, or of the future, it cannot but look back through the distant veil of the past, without being struck with the disproportionate realization of his wishes to the glorious imaginations of youth, and gazing upon the ruins of his former ambitions, and lofty speculations, as the mariner escaped from the wreck, views upon the beach the broken fragments of the noble and stately vessel, whose fortunes and his own are eternally ruined.

But whatever circumstances may have occurred to embitter recollection, and to embroil the prudent reasoning of age with the theoretic visions of youth, there is, probably, no one but has experienced in the outset of life, some small portion of ecstatic bliss, such as cannot be forgotten even amid the gayest and most dissipated moments, and upon which he doats with all the cherished fervour he experienced in those rapturous moments, when the indelible impression was first made.

All men (worthy of the name) start in the pilgrimage of life with animation, and "the sword, gown, gain, glory," become the objects of our hopes and endeavours. But some minor accidents frequently take place to thwart our purposes, and leading the mind to other objects of expectation, ruin the intention, or strangely render our exertions of little avail.

I was the only son of poor but respectable people in the mountains of Arvon, and the desire of my parents was to give me an education that might fit me for a learned profession, and enable me, by the exercise of those talents which their fondness believed me to possess, to move in a more extended and a higher sphere than their own situation in life would otherwise have entitled me to; when, after passing through the usual gradations of a public school, I was articled to an apothecary, of some practice, in a large town, on the borders of my native Principality; and during the period of my abode there, although I had very little opportunity of cultivating the society of men of the world, I had the gratification of making the acquaintance of those who, in after life, have been of great service to my professional views, and who have directed my studies, influenced my judgment, and guided me from the abyss of pleasure, whenever they supposed me to be advancing too close upon its awful brink. There was another cause which hallowed, to my mind, this scene of my youthful outset; in comparison with which all my subsequent enjoyments have been but insipid, and my attachments but as the faint rays of moonlight; beautiful but sad; soft but neither so vivid nor permanent as was the first blush of love upon my youthful heart, which broke like the radiant, glowing light of morn, warming and preserving my inmost soul, and remaining, even to this moment, without a shadow. Reader, indulge me but for one moment, while I open to you my heart, and display before you the most blissful and precious reminiscences it contains.

One beautiful autumnal evening in 17-, I was descending one of my native hills, and had wandered a little out of the beaten track to vary the prospect of the lovely vale beneath me, when suddenly I heard the melodious air of Llwyn On, sung in so sweet and plaintive a tone, as if the warbler, whoever it might be, was communing with the spirit of song, on the high solitude of the mountain's brow. Feeling conscious of being unheard by any

mortal, save, perhaps, the solitary shepherd, the soul of music was breathed more tenderly into the strain.

My curiosity was, of course, awakened, and moving gently forward to a small covert of trees, I discovered the fair songstress reclining on a mossy couch, which, perhaps, her own hand had raised. My first impulse was to obtrude myself upon her presence; but I felt convinced, from the character of countenance which I there saw, that the lovely girl would have flown from me like the mountain goat, and that, in all probability, the step would have been fatal to a more friendly intercourse, and, I, therefore, contented myself with watching her safely home to the shelter of a small but extremely neat cottage, which stood about a mile from the spot; and it may be supposed that the romantic discovery created no slight impression upon the heart of a youth but just eighteen years of age. I met Marianne, (for such was her name,) afterwards, at the house of a friend, and my attentions, by degrees, won the affections of my mountain nymph; but to what purpose were our loves, since we were both of us not merely poor but almost pennyless; and, moreover, it was necessary for the completion of my professional studies, that I should seek in the metropolis both learning and fame, ere I could hope to be affianced to the object of my choice.

These thoughts (the whisperings of the mind to the ardour of my passion,) had found no resting-place in my bosom, had not the good sense and devotion of my lovely Marianne prompted me to study more closely; and we therefore fondly anticipated that our union would not be protracted beyond a few seasons, passing tedious and long to us, although to the world but as the gliding moment. Now it was, that I could fully appreciate the fresh and glowing charms of my native hills, and could enjoy, with the untutored and wild imagination of my Marianne, during our picturesque wanderings, the sublimity and pathos of nature, the grandeur of Cambria's broken ridges of mountain, and the hallowed seclusion of her vales, studded with the sweet-scented early violets, which seemed to have borrowed their cerulean lustre from the bright and glorious heavens above. I had never before known the blessing of a sympathising companion in my joys or woes; the world appeared expanded afr. sh to my view, as the sun rises upon the ocean, full and luminous. My intelligent and sweet companion was to me a Mentor, a very guardian angel; she took every opportunity of conjuring me, with modest and serious concern, to beware of the many dangers which her affection anticipated for me in the multitudinous world that was so soon to be the scene of my exertion for professional honours; and I treasured them up in my mind, resolving (but alas forgetting the frailty of my bark,) to weather the tempest I had to contend with. Months were passed by us in the sweetest interchange of sympathy, and

the period too speedily arrived for my debut upon the vast arena of all that is powerful in intellect or successful in industry. I left my native country, and the darling treasure which it contained for me, and with a bursting heart took leave of my beloved, who wept and prayed for me, until I had well nigh taken the resolve to stay with her for ever, to have become hers at once, and to have braved, with her, humiliation, deprivation, poverty, and every evil, till death had severed us; but by a strong effort I tore myself from her embraces, and departed on my journey for the scene of many a future adventure.

With what varying and contrasted feelings do men enter the metropolis of England: the nobleman, the man of opulence, the savant, the student, the artisan, each having some important object to obtain, and upon which they devote all the distinct energies of their minds. How much matter of general interest to mankind does the comparatively small area of this city contain! The bulk of the population has some interest centered in it; Europe, nay the whole world, is animated or paralysed by the effect emanating from the commercial enterprises of its inhabitants. Thrones totter as its wealthy princes dictate, and the fiat of a minister of its government is echoed through every civilised state, and forms a portion of its future destiny. Perhaps at the moment I may write, the future hero, or the embryo statesman, young in years and uninformed in mind, enters its streets, and contemplates its grandeur: astonishment and admiration are the first effects upon his mind, but as the recollection of his own humble circumstances and insignificance, amid the splendor and display which dazzles his sight, and tantalizes his imagination, reverts to him, he reflects that he is alone in the abode of the mighty, and that having left the peaceful dwelling-place of his childhood, his heart. sinks to think how little of sympathy he can find in the busy haunts of those that are around him. Such too were my own feelings, when, immured in a small chamber in one of the narrow streets of the Borough, I thought of the new life, new scenes, and new associates, that on the morrow would dawn upon me. could take the place in my affections of those whom I had left, or cheer me in the hour of sickness; or be the partaker of my gladsome hours? But again I knew that, in the solitude and dreariness of my humble apartment, there would be one who would watch over and protect me; and, following the impulse of my heart, I supplicated the Almighty to regard my comparatively forlorn situation, and to afford me that help and succour which my parents had early taught me to rely upon as the only safeguard against the temptations and follies of the world.

Who

The following day was as cheerful and beautiful as the cloud of smoke hanging densely on all sides would permit it to appear, and issuing from the small house of my landlord, a poor but

honest tradesman from my own country, to whom I had been recommended, I proceeded to pay the usual entrance fees for admission as a medical student in the schools of the then united Hospitals of St. Guy's and St. Thomas's; after which, in company with a demonstrator of anatomy, I proceeded to that charnelhouse of knowledge, yclept the dissecting room. A low narrow passage conducted me to the abode of those remains from which the profession glean so much of knowledge and experience, and although an involuntary shudder came over me, and I instinctively stood still as the first view of the scene was before me, I almost immediately recovered myself, and endeavoured to note in my mind the effect of its first impression, and to reflect upon the important advantage which this customary study of anatomy has been, and still is, to the pursuit of science. Two or three young men in woollen jackets and red leathern aprons, were before me, dissecting the muscles and tracing the arteries of what had been a most lovely infant, and the powerful muscular frame of a young and vigorous man was undergoing similar operations from a small snub-nosed sturdy pursuer of the human lineaments. Others were busily engaged on all sides, regardless of the moral conveyed, or, as some perhaps might say, pursuing the substance unmindful of its shadow; a knot of energetic, and apparently intellectual, though dissipated, young men, were descanting loudly on the issue of a late prize fight; others were eloquent on the merits and beauty of an actress who had made her debut on the preceding evening. My new friend the demonstrator, soon made me at home within the circle, and I was invited to form one of a coterie who were to dine at a neighbouring haunt on that day.

The

Our party, which at dinner amounted only to four persons, was afterwards increased by an acquaintance or two, who, being well aware of the habits of their friends, had looked in to take the chance of finding them at this their usual rendezvous. evening passed merrily, and although I retired to my chamber at a later hour than was my habit in the country, still I felt it to be of little consequence, at this early step of my career, to devote myself assiduously to the reading portion of my duties. But here let me advise all young men who value the integrity and virtue of their character, to shun this too common step, that changes a dissipated acquaintance into an intimate associate or friend. This it was that led me, by degrees, into excesses of all kinds, the effects of which upon the fortunes and health of myself and others, I purpose relating in due course. In the mean time, I continued to convey to my fair betrothed my unaltered attachment, and frequently to receive similar assurances in her correspondence, with the usual inquiries respecting my pursuits and studies. The first of these, as the reader will surmise, were, after a