COURTSHIP AND WEDLOCK;

OR,

LOVERS AND HUSBANDS.

INTRODUCTION.

LOVERS and Husbands!-The worshippers and the worshipped!-The slaves and the masters!-The humble and the mighty! What a theme of intense and boundless interest for the whole female world! For who, while triumphing in the patient devotion of the lover, does not feel some misgivings as to how it may be, when it is her turn to watch, to wait, to endure, to "love, honour, and obey!" And who, however happy in ber choice, however fair her portion of domestic bliss, however easy her yoke, however light her burden, does not look back with a wild and deep regret, to those bright days, when the kind and careful, but matter-of-fact, calculating, and, alas! fault-finding husband, was the adoring, the sanguine, the all-admiring lover?

In vain, in vain. It is, alas! quite certain, and it is proved every day by the experience of thousands, that the intimacy of domestic life, which frequently increases the warm and romantic devotion of the female heart, has a most refrigerating and disenchanting effect on theyes! we must say it (doubt it who will)-the less sublime affection of man!

A great writer has said, treating of this very subject, that custom comes with its inevitable curse;" and many men seem rather to pride themselves on the readi ness with which they cease to adore any object, beco

B

familiar to their senses-yea, and to despise what they consider a sort of spaniel attribute of woman-the power of loving on, and often more and more fondly, in spite of weaknesses revealed, faults discovered, unkindnesses, and even cruelties endured!

But, that it is truly noble or great, to be able to love, only as long as novelty lasts, as the senses are unsated, and the eye unfamiliar with the charm, we must most positively deny; that surely is the loftiest power of fancy, which can invest with a thousand subtle associations and ideal charms

"The primrose by the river's brim,"

The every-day companion, the fire-side friend!—that is the noblest imagination which can discover some new charm in the most familiar face!-some new music in the most familiar voice, some new virtue in the most closely studied and best known character!-ALL CONSTANCY IS STRENGTH! All inconstancy hear it, ye scoffers who pride yourselves on what you fancy is a delicate epicureanism of taste, and a poetical love of variety and of change,-ALL INCONSTANCY IS WEAKNESS ! The clinging devotion you are haughtily pleased to recognise in woman, even while you affect to despise it, does not always arise from blindness to your faults, grovelling passion for your persons, or the weak reliance of the parasite plant, that clings to the noble tree it adorns and destroys. No! you are often loved (little as you deem it) because you need so much the comfort, the protection, the watchful tenderness of woman's love! Because, however gifted, lofty, and independent may seem the man she loves, woman knows and feels that the world will forsake, its objects disappoint, man rival and betray; and that he, the mighty and the scornful, has nothing real to depend upon but woman's love-nothing firm to cling to but woman's constancy-nothing of certain shelter but woman's bosom !

Yes! in woman's love (even for the loftiest) there is a tender, a provident, a protecting anxiety, partaking of the nature of maternity; and often the glorious attributes with which she perseveres in investing some false idol, are a proof, not of his greatness or glory, but of the lofti

ness of her own imagination and the purity of her own heart!

Again, her readiness to forgive cannot be a proof of weakness, since the more she forgives, the more she copies the All Powerful, the All Wise, the All Good!

It is a very low, mundane, and corsair pride, the pride in vengeance and in the Satanic incapability of forgiving! There is nothing so sublime as a prompt and entire forgiveness. The great Johnson never seems so small as a moralist, as when he talks of delighting in a "good hater;" and every true Christian heart responds to the poet's exclamation

"To err is human, to forgive divine."

Man need not then glory so much, that, neither as an individual nor as a race, he can ever forgive a frailty, or take a penitent to his bosom! nor need woman be ashamed to own, that however wronged, neglected, or outraged, her heart is ever prone to forgive!

However, this we must own, that the same woman who is extreme to mark what is done amiss by a lover, is often ready and eager to put the most favourable construction on all that emanates from a husband-and in this she is surely wise. One must yield, one must obey, one must follow; and when once the wife has sensibly made up her mind to be that one and where she cannot do so, she has not only erred, but perjured herself-she cannot do better than cultivate a habit of faith and reliance on him whom she has chosen, knowing that both the laws of God and man had appointed him as her guide, her comforter, her protector.

But with the lover there is no such duty. Woman cannot be too cautious, too watchful, too exacting in her choice of a lover, who, from the slave of a few weeks or months-rarely years-is to become the master of her future destiny, and the guide, not only through all time, but perhaps eternity!

What madness then to suffer the heart to be taken captive by beauty, talent, grace, fascination, before the reason is convinced of the soundness of principle, the purity of faith, the integrity of mind of the future husband.

It is not always the all-enduring, devoted, and impassioned lover who makes the kindest, the most attentive and forbearing husband.

We have often seen the coldest inattention, the most mortifying disparagement, the most insulting inconstancy, follow, even in the first months of matrimony, on the most romantic devotion and blindest adoration of courtship. The honeymoon seems to exhaust every drop of honey, and leave nothing but stings in the jar.

Again, the lover who dares to be a MAN, and to "hint a fault, and hesitate dislike," even though the happiness of his whole life seems to him at stake,-one who may forget a bouquet, or neglect a compliment, arrive a few minutes too late, or be disinclined for a waltz or a polka, not admire a fashion, or disagree with a sentiment,-such a lover, despicable and indifferent as he is pronounced to be by astounded mammas and indignant aunts (jealous for their daughters and nieces as for themselves),—and far as he falls short of romantic sisters' and young friends' exacting notions,—may turn out the best of good husbands after all!

If he dared to be a man when he had everything to gain, he will not be a coward when he has, in the world's opinion, nothing to lose.

We say the world-because, in our own estimation, every married pair, even after the indissoluble knot is tied, have still much to lose, if they risk one iota of the trust, the confidence, and the tenderness of those whose mere freedom they have enchained for life.

The tale, then, to which we have given the title of "COURTSHIP AND WEDLOCK," and which treats, of course, of varieties of both species, and of woman as the wooed and the won" in courtship and in wedlock, will, we hope, be found to contain both precept and practice, example and warning.

66

If any should find a few hints for converting a devoted lover into a kind and constant husband, and for retaining in the love of that husband something of the ardent attention of the lover, we have not written, nor have they read, in vain.

Although our French neighbours are wisely afraid of hat they cleverly call excès de prévenances, and although