Scripture testimonies, I could not find the use of them, the analogy of faith stayed my mind as to the truth, till I was in case to recover the particular testimonies out of the enemy's hand. When the Lord manifested himself from the word to me, he gave me a sweet view of himself and his design, principally aimed at in the whole revelation he made of himself, and of the sweet and harmonious consent and concurrence of the principal doctrines of the gospel, in promoting that design; and he let me see how the end and the means were so closely linked together, that one of these truths could not be overturned, but almost all the rest must follow its fate. Hereon, whenever any of these truths was controverted, its connection with the other truths, uniformly and plainly attested by the current of the Scriptures, presented itself, and my mind was satisfied it could not fall, unless they all fell. This I take to be the analogy of faith; and herein I often took sanctuary.

7. My mind was often stayed by the concurrent suffrage of the pious in all churches, and nations, and ages, witnessed in their particular writings and confessions of faith. I loved to walk in the footsteps of the flock; that is, of those of whose piety we had the best security.

8. The direct opposition, especially of the Pelagian notions, to my own experience, and that of all the fearers of God I conversed with, as well as the Scriptures, was a very great relief.

9. One thing that made me always read Arminians and Socinians with a just jealousy, was a clear view of their scandalous disingenuity in misrepresenting the opinions they opposed.

10. When I seriously viewed the difficulties they urged against the truth, I often found them caught in the thicket, and as deeply fastened and entangled in the same, or other full as great or greater inconveniences.

M

11. The fore--mentioned view of the design of the gospel, as represented from the 1st of the Corinthians, was of great use.

12. God very often, when I was perplexed about particular Scriptures, gave me a view of their meaning in his own light, opened them to me; and after him temptations spoke not again.

Many other things and considerations of a like nature have been relieving; which, because they are too many and too long to be here narrated, I pass. These mentioned may serve for a taste.

I now come to give some account of my relief from another temptation, wherewith I have been continually exercised from my youth, and yet sometimes am; and it respects death. I have above narrated what a continual bondage I was in through fears of death, and how early these fears began: I shall now give some account of my relief.

1. I found the Lord's mercy, manifested in Christ, free me from the spirit of bondage, and acquaint me in some measure with that liberty that is the attendant of the spirit of adoption; and hereby all my fears were much weakened.

2. The Lord, by that discovery he made of himself in Christ, removed in a great measure the grounds wherein I had heretofore feared death most-the want of evidence about the reality of things not seen, and sin the sting of death; and hereon my mind was much eased, because I was now in some measure secured against both these fears.

3. The strong power of sin that I found still remaining, and the disturbance thence arising, made life not desirable; and a prospect of riddance by death, and a more satisfying discovery of the Lord, made death appear more desirable.

4. Whereas a natural aversion to death still continued,

and I found still some fear upon a close prospect of it arising in my mind, I was much relieved by the promise of the Lord's helping against temptation, and engaging for his people that they should not be tempted above what they are able to bear, but that when the trial comes, he will provide a way of escape. (1 Cor. x. 13.)

5. My faith as to this promise was often strengthened by former experience; particularly, I remember one day travelling from Edinburgh to Leith, and meditating upon death, I was oppressed with fear, when the Lord mercifully suggested this scriptural thought, though not in Scripture words, Have you not shrinked formerly under the remote prospect of other trials? and have you not yet been carried honourably and safely through them? What reason have you to distrust God as to future trials, who has given grace formerly to help in time of need? This quieted my mind at the time.

6. With respect to this, it has always been very satisfying to consider, that it is no way meet that God should give us grace before trials come, but that he should keep us humble and dependent by reserving that in his own hand, and teach us to submit to his judgment, as to the measure and time of performing his own promises, and giving the necessary supplies of grace.

7. Hereon my soul is quieted under all my fears of this trial, in some measure of the faith of this, that the Lord is a God of judgment, and that they are all blessed who wait on him in the faith of his promises, not doubting either of his faithfulness as to the accomplishment, or judgment as to the right timing and measuring them in proportion to our trials and necessities.

8. The Lord has often given me, when clouded by this fear, a sweet discovery of the beauty of this disposal, that we have promises to live upon till the trials come, and that when they come, we shall then get accomplish.

ments to live on. "In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen." (Gen. xxiv. 14.)

Finally, The experiences of the Lord's faithfulness recorded in history, and learned by report, or by my own observation, did often help to strengthen my faith of this; and here I rest to this day. I dare not say, I am ready to die; I dare not say, I have faith or grace sufficient to carry me through death; I dare not say, that I have no fears of death: but this I say, there is grace enough for helping me laid up in the promise-there is a throne of grace to which in our straits we may have recourse. He is a God of judgment who has the disposal, and who will not withhold it when it is really the time of need.

PART IV.

CONTAINING SOME ACCOUNT OF HIS ORDINATION UNTO THE HOLY MINISTRY, AND HIS CONDUCT THEREIN.

CHAPTER I.

Of his being licensed to preach the Gospel.

WHEN I was under the violent strugglings related in the account of the second part of my life, I had laid by all thoughts of the work of the ministry. It was like hell once to entertain a thought of preaching to others what I did not believe myself; but now things began to alter, and the Lord led me on to that which I declined before: and I find the steps of his providence about me in this matter do deserve to be remembered by me.-1. My mother did devote me from my childhood to this work, and often expressed her desire to lend me to the Lord all the days of my life, to serve him in the gospel of his Son. This has often had its own weight on my spirit. 2. The course of my studies had looked that way; my education pointed towards that work; which providential determination of my studies, though I had no great regard to it at some times, yet on other occasions it had some weight on my spirit, that I durst not rashly turn my thoughts another way. 3. The Lord forcibly, by his providence, did break my design of following the study of philosophy by the foregoing exercise, of which I have