very few know really how I am circumstanced." What can this be? thinks I, for I knew him to be as rich as any lod Jew. "Whisper," continued he, putting his mouth close to my ear;

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you needn't tell any one, but it is a fact that I have fourteen children to provide for ; they extract from me every shilling I can make, so excuse me, Nettle, I cannot do the bill; but any one will give you the cash ;-see, there is Mc N-ly going into the Rolls-run after him; I have something in the Exchequer adieu!" Well, off we set to Mc N-ly, who was limping along in the usual way, for of course you are aware that he had a long and a short leg, or a short and a long one, whichever you like. Talking of his lameness, Jack Mly had a limp, exactly like that of Mc N- -ly, and he went up to Curran one day in the hall of the Four Courts," Mr. Curran," said he, "have you seen Mc Nly going this way?" Curran answered immediately, referring to the limp, "Why, Jack, I never saw him going any other way.”—But to return to the subject-I went up to Mc Ny with my escort;""Friend Mc N-ly," said I, can you spare me a moment?—I have something to say to you." (Mc N-ly, you know, had a very drawling loud manner of speaking.) "Eh," said he, "what in the name of wonder do you want? sure you know I would do any thing in the world for you-speak out-come to the point at once. Well, I thought I was all right at last, and I looked round to Tom, who appeared to be of the same opinion, for he was scratching his head, and had a regular Tim Bobbin grin upon him. "Why, Mc N―ly," said I, "if you can do me a small ten pound bill, you will confer a great favour upon me; I want to lend five pounds to this poor fellow's master, with whom I think you dine to-day."-"Eh-to be sure I do ;-but what the devil have you been about? Why didn't you come to me sooner?-Damnation, I have just lent £200 to Smyth, and have not another rap of ready money at present; I would lend you the money with all my heart, if I had it. If you had been with me five minutes ago, you would have been all right; but this moment I could not discount a treasury order for sixpence, due in half an hour; at the same time don't think I am poor, for by the powers I have debentures that sun or moon never saw." (Mc N- -ly always wished to be thought very rich.) "But see," continued he," thererun-there is the man who will give you the money, or ten times as much if you want it-your friend Curran ;--cut after him."

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"Well, Tom," said I, turning to the lad in the rear, whose smile had given way to an unusual length of visage,-" come along; all hope is not gone yet." Away we went to Curran. My dear Curran," said I," a word with you." "A thousand words, Jacob; but if one will suffice, say but the word, and you shall have whatever it demands, if in my power to grant it." "I have a ten pound bill here," said I; "I would be glad if you could melt it for me." "A ten pound bill!" echoed Curran, drawing himself up, and stroking his chin," a ten pound bill! let me see the bill!" continued he, taking from his waistcoat pocket his spectacles, and shaking them open against his left hand whilst I was extracting the unfortunate bill from my pocket, I took the opportunity of repeating what I had so often said beforenamely, that it was not so much for myself I wanted the money as to

oblige my friend Billy Daly; concluding by calling to notice the dismal looking messenger in the rear, at whom Curran gave a penetrating look, and then uttered a kind of a hem, followed by a very audible smack of the lips. "Let me see the bill," said he again, slowly, as if only to fill up the pause which had taken place, for the bill had got amongst some papers in my pocket, and it was some time before I placed it in his hands. He took it by one corner, tapped the opposite end with his spectacles in order to open it at full length; then raising the glasses to his eyes, he gave another hem and a smack of the lips, followed by a glance over the top of the paper-first at myself, and then at my friend Tom, who stood there, the very picture of hope and fear. "My dear Jacob," said Curran, at last, this bill, I have not the smallest doubt upon my mind, will be paid upon the very day it becomes due, and by my calculation and according to Cocker, it has precisely ten days to run. I perceive, also, that it has been drawn upon the tenth day of the month ;-and, let me see, it is payable at number ten, Molesworth Street. Now, my dear Jacob, that is a very remarkable coincidence, that the bill should be for ten pounds—that it should have exactly ten days to run-be drawn upon the tenth day of the month, and be made payable at ten, Molesworth Street." "It is odd," said I, laughing; "it never had struck me before." "However," continued Curran, "that does not alter my opinion, that the bill will be taken up on the very day it becomes due." At this expression of satisfaction on the part of Curran, my hopes began to rise, and I heard a kind of chuckle proceeding from my friend Tom, who looked on the matter as settled. "But, my dear Jacob," continued Curran, in a calm serious tone," it is a bill-and let me tell you a story concerning myself and a bill." Tom drew closer to my heels, and cocked

his ears.

"Some years ago," continued Curran, a friend of mine-I will not mention his name-asked me as a favour, to put my name across a bill, which process is termed accepting the bill. He said it was to afford him a temporary accommodation, and assured me that he would have the means of taking it up when it became due. I did what he required without hesitation-full of confidence-never for a moment suspecting the consequences. Well, sir, I went on circuit a short time after; I set off on the coach-inside or outside-I am not sure which; but no matter. I was in a state of happy unconsciousness respecting the bill. I arrived at Cork. I was sitting quietly one morning in the coffee room of the hotel at my breakfast, when-to my inconceivable horror-a fellow walked in, tapped me upon the shoulder, and begged politely to inform me that this same bill, upon which I had put my name some months previously, had been, in the commercial sense of the word, protested. My dear Jacob, no sooner had I been in possession of this astounding intelligence than I protested before Heaven, that, directly or indirectly, I never would have anything to do with a bill again. My dear Jacob," continued he, warming as he went on, "I feel for this poor messenger of woe!" here he looked at Tom, who held down his head and scratched it violently; "I am aware of the sad tale he will have to carry to his master, should you fail in your attempt to procure the paltry value of this paltry piece of paper; believe me, when I hear

of such cases, my head falls upon my shoulder, and my heart sinks in within me; but Jacob, believe me, I would suffer anything rather than it should ever be said again, that I had anything-even in the most remote degree-to do with a bill;-good b'ye, my dear Jacob." Saying this, Curran thrust the bill into my hand, which he shook, and then walked quickly away. Here was the finishing stroke. I could not help laughing to myself at Curran's manner while telling the story. Some time after he told me, while he laughed heartily, that it was purely the invention of the moment, but that he had the greatest horror of bills. Tom stood gazing upon the pavement of the hall, working away at his head with unremitting exertion. "Well, Tom," said I, "you see it is not such an easy matter as you supposed, to get cash even for a good ten pound bill.” "Be dad, then, that's true, yer honour; money doesn't appear to be as plenty as blackberries when they're in season; howsomedeaver, I'll tell the master that yer honour did everything in yer power; and if we can't get what we want, we must only do without it." Saying this, he was moving away. "Hold, Tom," said I, "take the bill to your master; he may be able to get a loan on it that will suffice for the day; but tell him from me, and you know, Tom, I speak from experience, to try any place for the money, but in the hall. of the Dublin Four Courts." Well, to end my story, it is but right to state, that Billy Daly managed somehow or other to get the cash; and, sure enough, at dinner the same evening, we had a good laugh about the same ten pound bill.

During the recital of this story you may be sure that there was plenty of laughter, both from the appearance of the narrator, as well as from his true, but droll, imitations of the persons to whom he made his unsuccessful applications.

Jacob's poor pension obliged him to live upon a very economical scale at home; this fact, however, he always endeavoured to hide as much as possible, and would make us believe that he had a good bottle of wine whenever we would be pleased to call on him. He invited me to visit him,-I took him at his word; an Irish friend, Dick Smyth, and myself, popped in unexpectedly upon him, and certainly we had a hearty laugh at his being caught

"Deprendi miserum est."

Poor Jacob happened upon this day to be put to his shifts, not having any invitation out; being very deaf, he had not heard our rap at the hall door, nor was he aware of our approach until we had knocked loudly at the door of his little bed-room," which served him for parlour, kitchen, and all." We entered. Just before opening the door, we heard a sudden shuffling and a confused noise, occasioned by the fall of some of the fire-irons and other things, as if Jacob had been surprised, and had suddenly started from some occupation which he would have wished to conceal; upon entering the room, our olfactory nerves were saluted with a most savoury smell of fried meat: Jacob was habited in a very worn-out dressing-gown patched with different coloured stuffs, and had on his slippers; it was nearly four o'clock, but he seldom stirred out, unless when invited to the board of a friend: he saluted us in a confused manner, excusing himself to us about his

dishabille, &c. Why, Jacob," said I, snuffing up the savoury smell which filled the room, "I fear we have interrupted you-you have been cooking your dinner." I winked at Dick Smyth-we saw there was something in the wind, and were determined to have (as Dick termed it,) a gag. "O no, no," said Jacob, endeavouring to put on as cool a look as possible; "I suppose some of the poor creatures below (meaning the servants) have been dressing a bit of meat; the house is small and the partitions thin," continued he, "and the smell of the kitchen comes up through it." "Why, then, by the powers!" said Dick Smyth, your kitchen is not far off, and the partitions must be mighty thin, for I'll take my oath the roastwhatever it is," continued Dick, snuffing with all his might" is not more than a yard away from my nose." "Oh, come, Jacob," said I, "out with it; I know you have been dressing a leg of mutton, or a piece of beef,-don't mind us, man, we shall not stay to dinner :" however, Jacob urged and protested it was no such thing. We were not to be put off. I opened the presses-nothing there: Dick Smyth had a stick in his hand, and he set to poking about under the drawers and chairs; at last he came to the bed,-all this time, Jacob kept assuring us, with a kind of hysterical laugh, that we would find nothing. Dick poked the end of the stick under the bed;" What the d-l is this?" said he, turning the crooked end and hooking out about half a pound of half-cooked beefsteak covered with feathers and dust, for the room (at least under the bed) had not been swept for a month or two. 66 By the powers," roared Dick, "it's a young gosling, and he has been roasting it with the feathers on." We regularly choked ourselves with laughter, and poor Jacob, after struggling for a moment or two with intense agony, at last burst out into chorus. "By this and by that," said Dick, when he could recover breath to speak," you are a regular cannibal,-the least you might have done, was to kill and pluck the unfortunate animal before you went to roast it." Well, when we had taken the worth of the joke out of poor Jacob, and when he began to calm a little himself, he entreated of us not to let the story go abroad, at least during his life; we promised to keep it secret,-made him dress himself, instead of finishing the dressing of the gosling,-I took him off to my home with Dick Smyth, -and after dinner, when the ladies had retired, we had another laugh about the bed-room dinner, and the account from Jacob himself of his feelings at being caught in the fact; he told us, that on hearing our knock at the door, he had but time to throw the piece of beefsteak (which he was frying on the tongs) under the bed.

Jacob Nettle lived and died an old bachelor; but a short time before his death, he was very nearly caught in the trap that he had so long avoided. A romantic old lady (as Jacob would call her) fell in his way at a boarding-house in town: he imagined that she had lots of money, and that she was very handsome; she imagined, I suppose, the same of Jacob: he made some advances, let fall (by his own account, in his cups,) some endearing expressions-in fact, got himself into a considerable hobble for some time, for certain discoveries as to her property intimated to him that it would be better to retreat ;-he did so, but she, being a constant lady, and still thinking Jacob was

rich, instructed her legal adviser: the man of law, however, after inquiry and deliberation, began to think that the promise which she alleged had been made, was one "more honoured in the breach than the observance;" he advised his client and Jacob to that effect. When Jacob found himself safe, he was not a little proud of this affair,-it had been his first love encounter, and I think it was quite time for it to be his last.

I could fill a volume with stories about old Jacob Nettle; but what I have told, I think, will suffice to give an idea of his character. He was honoured to the close of his life with the friendship of many distinguished individuals, amongst whom were the Bishop of B, Lady Ms, the Earl of F, &c. &c. As for myself, I can only say I had many a jovial moment in the company of Jacob Nettle, the pensioned off Irish barrister.

REVIVALS.-No. V.

PETER MINIMUS.

ARGUMENTS OF SCEPTICS AGAINST THE AUTHENTICITY OF the
CHRISTIAN RELIGION FURTHER CONSIDEred.

IN our " Revivals, No. IV.," we contended that the prevalence of practical infidelity does not furnish any argument against the authenticity of the Christian religion. But, though we, in some notes, controverted several favourite positions of atheists and deists, and though, in the text, we showed, from Paley and otherwise, that Christianity has already done much to improve mankind both in their collective and individual capacity, yet it may make our argument more complete to more directly consider Christianity in reference to what is called utilitarian philosophy.

Now, the Christian religion is either true or false: it cannot be partly what it professes to be, a divine revelation, and the invention of impostors or madmen; but it may be only partly useful, or not useful at all, without its authenticity being disproved. A seed, after it is sown, is useless for a time, but yet is valuable on account of the future profit expected from it. Or suppose that Christianity is, at the present time, useful to society to a certain extent only, that it " prevents some evils, that it renders some less cruel, more mild and tractable, that it lessens the disposition to crime in some people, and makes them more humane, modest, and decent;"* would it not be absurd to say that Christ came into the world as the Son, and Messenger, of the God of Truth, and yet that he was partly an impostor, or that Christianity, if partly useful, is authentic, but yet spurious, because not, at present, more useful? Here we would ask utilitarian sceptics why they are not equally sceptical upon many points they generally receive with the meekness and docility of little children?t It is a favourite tenet of their creed that their system is a religion of education, attraction, and prevention; which is, consequently, a more perfect, and a more practising, religion than the Christian." Why

* Vide "Manners of the Christians," by the Abbé Fleury, Part 4, Section 61. + Mark, x. 15.