CHAPTER XIV.

"There is no speculation in those eyes,"

"Trade-d-n trade !"

I RESOLVE to devote a few pages of my life to my speculations. I do not mean theatrical ones, for, with all my versatility in financial matters, I can truly say that a serious idea of management never entered into my money-making calculations. I never had any particular desire to speculate in the management of a theatre. I have often given entertainments, concerts, lectures, &c., and engaged assistants. Sometimes the operation resulted in a loss.

But I have engaged in land speculations and in water speculations. I have paid money, and given obligations to pay more, for property upon which I was to realize some day enormous profits. It is needless to add, perhaps, that I never realized anything-principal invested, interest, or property in any of these moneymaking sehemes.

I think actors in general are bad financiers, and, according to my retrospective views in this relation, I must have been one of the worst among the bad. When I have had in my possession any considerable sum of money, I was ready to purchase anything that was of fered to my notice. Some persons, whose business it was to take advantage of the stranger, learning my weakness, have profited more than once by their know

ledge. In this way I have had possession of property for which I had no use whatever, and have been obliged to dispose of it at great sacrifices, often to the original

owner.

My speculations in Rochester, before my marriage, were of this kind. I remember buying a cow and calf, said to be of a high order of cattle. I gave a watch and ten dollars-all the money I had in the world-for the two specimens of horned cattle.

The man of whom I purchased these brutes was the most deaconish looking individual I ever saw.

On a Saturday night the man asked me, "If I didn't want a good cow and calf?"

I enquired his price for them. He said, "Thirty dollars, but they were worth forty if they were worth a cent," according to his estimate and story. I had no more notion of the value of a cow and calf, or the marks of a good milker, than I had of calculating eclipses. But the Yankee drover succeeded in getting my watch and money, leaving the cattle in the road, under my direction-the ownership thereof vested in me.

For a short time I was elated with my cow and calf. I had no place to keep them, and I did not really know what to do. I, however, obtained permission of a neighbor to put them in his yard until Monday, when I was to sell them and double my money, according to the drover's story. He said he could do it, but he had received news that his wife was sick, and he could not stay long enough to sell them, on that account.

I believed his story, wife and all. That night my visions were stored with droves of cattle, pastures, money, farms, and all the items of agricultural life. On

Monday I tried to sell my cow, who had played various antics in my neighbor's enclosure-jumping walls, and refusing to perform any of the duties expected of a

COW.

Every time the calf approached the cow she kicked and ran away, threatening fences, pumps, and trees with summary vengeance.

I asked the farmer what he thought was the reason the cow would not let the calf come near her?

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Why," says he, "George, you have got awfully taken in in that ere cow of your'n."

"How so?" says I; "she looks like a good one. The man of whom I bought her said she felt a little bad about her calf because it was her first one."

"Why, that cow is farrow. That aint her calf no more than it's mine; she hain't had a calf for twenty years. He's borrowed that calf somewhere to sell the cow."

I never told any one how much I realized on the sale of that cow and calf, and I never intend to tell. I have made speculations since that time, but it seems generally my destiny in trade to get the "farrow cow."

For my professional services I have always been well paid. At one time, while in New Orleans, with a good balance in my banker's hands, and a considerable sum in my pocket, some gentlemen called my attention to the sale of a valuable estate in Mobile. According to the plans of the estate, here were houses and lands which the present proprietor would on no account part with but for his necessities. I had seen the property, and almost every person said there was no risk in this. After some time spent in negotiation, I became the

purchaser, and had several thousand dollars invested in the State of Alabama. I began to calculate on the chances, one day or other, of owning a piece of eal estate in every State of the Union in which my professional duties would require a sojourn for a greater or less time, and in some one of which, after having accumulated a competency, I was to spend the remainder of my life in retirement and elegant ease-looking upon the panoramic actions of my contemporaries with dignity and critical interest.

After some time indulging in these dreams of the future, and often estimating how much richer I had grown already by the rise in my newly acquired property, another check to "proud ambition" came in the shape of a lawyer's letter from Mobile, giving me the pleasing intelligence that a claim had been presented which, if sustained, would deprive me of my property in that city. My title was defective; some Spanish claim must be satisfied, and my attention to the subject earnestly requested by my legal correspondent.

Mr. Brown, a shrewd man, and a friend of mine, advised me to let the purchase alone for the present. He said it was valuable property, but he thought there must be something wrong about it, else the man would not be so anxious for me to buy.

I repeated Mr. Brown's opinion to others, and one who was interested in the sale told me in confidence, the reason of Brown's advice-being nothing more nor less than that he wished to purchase the estate himself, and was only waiting to collect the amount required. I believed this man, and rejected the honest advice of my friend Brown.

This, in the end, was a heavier loss than the Rochester cow bargain.

Another land speculation in Mississippi, will serve to warn my brother actors against buying any kind of property until they are perfectly sure of a safe investment.

It

I have no recollection of the number of the township, for when I was interested, the town had no name. has since been christened, I have no doubt.

In some townships, however, I purchased by deputies, and in partnership with the deputy, a number of lots of land. I furnished the ready money, and my partner gave his notes for the amount of half the price of the purchase money.

I had no sooner obtained what I supposed to be the fee of this land, when I was offered a large advance upon the sum given; and I was rather inclined to sell, if it was only for the purpose of once realizing something "on a trade."

My partner objected, and I left the affair in his hands to manage for our mutual benefit. When I inform the friendly reader, that to this time I have not learned the name of the settlement in which my building lots were located, he will not expect of me any account of the improvements going on in that quarter, or how much I realised out of my land speculation in Mississippi; but will most likely class it with my first Rochester specu lation in live beef and veal.