No hints to these, no balm to those,
No urging friends, or soothing foes;
No passing on the vagrant Muse

To noble shelves and Scotch Reviews;
No begging each book-making sinner
To talk about one's work at dinner;
No luck like that by which some hoary
Renowns were coddled into glory;
And now, grown "honours to the nation,"
Blew out their "bubble reputation."

Our Twins are sauntering thro' the room---
Ching bored-Chang perfectly at home;
You'd thought, to mark their several faces,
Their characters had shifted places.

Chang, charmed to hear such lore and knowledge,

Seemed blithe as Freshman at a college,

While Ching contrasts his learned gladness

With a long face of patient sadness.

I spare you, reader, a narration
Of all the graver conversation.

Of how Chang heats his kindled soul
With Parry's chat about the Pole;
Now combats Ward about romances-
Now Lubbock on the scale of chances;
Here overthrows the dour Sir James
With a great blunder fresh from Kaimes;

And here in turn is crushed indeed

With a much greater one from Reid.

All this I spare you, and instead

With silent steps the crowd we tread,
And enter, thro' a little blue door,
What Lady Morgan loves-" a boudoir."
Enter, and with our Twins, who find
On a neat ottoman reclined,

Our friend, young Julian, and a certain
Wit of the day-we 'll call him Merton.
One of those wits he was, who place
The talent greatly in the face-
Whose lips when closed are full of matter,
And each sharp eye's itself a satire.
Callous and bold, and ne'er concealing
The aim, each arrow sought some feeling,
And every jest that took the wing
But buzzed around the heart, to sting.
Art thou a shot?—thy joy remember
When rise two woodcocks in December!
Ev'n with such joy the jester swell'd
When now our brothers he beheld,
And cock'd-resolved both birds to hit-

The double barrels of his wit.

But first the Humourist seems to praise,
The while he questions of-their ways;
Till noting with a gladdened eye
How Chang winced sore at each reply,
Him, he more markedly addrest,
Took a cool aim, and fired his jest.

Quoth he, "The nature of your tie

"Must be a great advantage to you; "All laws you clearly may defy,

"And ropes and chains in vain pursue you. "For while the one offence incurs, "The other nought amiss may do; "And who shall harm the one who errs, "Nor harm the unoffending too?

"Nor bounds your tie to law's perversion"Think what a fund 'tis for diversion!

"Suppose Chang went into the church,
"And Ching should enter in the navy,
"On Sunday evenings, in the lurch

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Ching leaves his flock to cry 'peccavi.' "Because Lieutenant Ching-the sinner— "Grows groggy at the captain's dinner; "While, should a war break out-and Ching

"Have any timorous misgiving,

"He's only got to cut the thing

"By saying, Chang can't leave his living!

66 Think, too-since now the illumined nation "Has taken up emancipation,

“And a big oath-his thousandth odd—
“Upon O'Connell's sturdy lips is—
"That this next sessions, he-by God-

"Will quite emancipate the-Gipsies!

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Why should not bright St. Stephen's, too,
Emancipation grant to you?

Giving you both the right of burgess, "To sit in parliament by purchase?

“Well, then, if Chang ambition fire,
“And he some quiet burgh should hire;
"Ching need not care a single filbert,
"What bills he owes to Stultz and Gilbert.
"To' arrest the debtor would, remember,
“Be a gross outrage on the member.

"But putting greater things aside,

'Only conceive that one may wed, "And that the other hates the bride, "With whom he too must go to bed.

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Supposing, while you most caress her,

"He with reproaches should address her;

"Ah, thy sweet mouth!'---' that monstrous feature;'

"Star of my soul!' the nasty creature,"

"Shall I be never of this bore rid?'

“Oh, what delight!'-' my God, how horrid !"

“Such, it is clear, might be of each

"The' opposing thought, or, haply, speech!

"If this should now and then annoy, "At least one comfort you enjoy ;

"Should you grow tired of Mrs. Chang,

""Tis not quite requisite to hang!

"Whene'er you like, unto her snarlings

"You leave her with the little darlings!

"For Ching, whom you place all the' offence with, "Blame him as much as she may please, "Has business, that he can't dispense with, "Just at your wife's antipodes!

"Thus may you feast on all love's honey, "But shun the sting of matrimony !"

More had the Jester said, but flushed
And angry lowered Chang's gloomy brow;
And as he spoke, the dark soul rushed

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Into his glance, and his wrath avow-

Gay Fool, avaunt thy mockery.

Speak'st thou of love-of brides to ME!"

No more his ire his lip disclosed,
Still on his brow the cloud reposed;
Still struggled scorn with bitter shame,
In his curved lip, and stern eye's flame;
Still on the jester fierce he gazed,
And still his hand half-threatening raised.
Abashed and craven looked the wit,
He feared a yet severer hit:
He thought our Siamese Ulysses

In sturdy blows his anger might ease;
Nor liked, amid surrounding quizzes,
To share the fate of old Thersites.