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ARGUMENT.

Melancholy plays the Schoolmaster to Mirth-The curious and perplexing dilemma of the Twins-Their escape-The world not free from the misfortunes of Chang and Ching-The conversation between Julian and Chang-Love-The immortality of the soul, &c.-Chang often seeks a renewal of that conversation-The ancient philosophers—The Boudhist religion---The state of Chang's mind on religious matters.

CHAPTER II.

ONE evening, Julian homeward walking,
Beheld afar a gathering crowd;
And on his ear, the storm of talking

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Broke quite " inelegantly loud."*

When one is suffering from blue devils,
Noise-mobs-are most tremendous evils!

How very much one's Melancholy
Turns up her nose at vulgar Folly!

How very bitterly she quarrels

With Mirth's sad sentiments and morals!
Calls Joy hard names, and swears 'tis very
Silly, and wicked to be merry.

* Lady

was good enough to fashion the above phrase for me. Her Ladyship cannot endure a mob to be the least vulgar; in her works she appears quite affronted at their not wearing silk stockings, and shouting hurrah!—in a whisper.

So Julian, when the crowd hc spied,
Would fain have sourly turn'd aside,
Muttering against folks' strange fatuity,
In wasting time and cracking jokes
With such provoking assiduity

On the concerns of other folks.
Instead of walking lone, and pouting,
Whether to drown, or dangle doubting;
Fate, and her thousand vagaries cursing,
And Spleen affectionately nursing;
Shock'd like himself at aught of gladness,
And bearing life with proper sadness.

Laneham had turn'd aside, I say,
When suddenly the crowd gave way,
And wrangling in the midst he sees,—
By Jove!-our luckless Siamese.
Some are, who seem beyond all succour,
Destined for ever to a pucker;

In vain to-day they may escape,
To-morrow brings an uglier scrape;

Through life they plunge, strive, pant, and squabble,
And Death still finds them in a hobble.

Somewhat of this sad species I am

Afraid you'll think our Twins of Siam.

Laneham walk'd up and ask'd the matter?
A hundred tongues reply in clatter!

But long ere silence was obtained,
This much at least he ascertained :-
A serjeant tall wished to convey

Off Chang, well able to prevail, if
Ching were not dragged the other way
In the d-d clutches of a bailiff!
The fact was, Ching, who'd ever had
Expensive habits from a lad;

And, since his entré into fashion,

Had loved like other beaux to dash on;

Now reaped Profusion's sad results,

In an arrest from Mr. Stultz!

The bailiff seized him at the time

When Chang, in whose unconscious cold ear, Brave Serjeant Drill had the sublime And gay profession of a soldier Been dinning; found himself imbruted With ale, and by the lord recruited! We wanted then some gallants tall, A Corps of Heroes for Bengal ; And Drill believed himself no dunce, In bagging two such birds at once. Well sure, that to enlist one brother, Was quite enough to win the other. Never, I ween, did War and Law Their several ways more drolly draw. Grappled on Chang the man of Slaughters! The sturdy bailiff grappled on Ching!

The one pull'd this way to his quarters,
The other that way to the Spunging!
While our astonish'd swarthy sad men,
Unconscious of the scrape they'd got in,
Thought what a dangerous band of madmen
Fate suddenly had cast their lot in!
Much were they charm'd, you may suppose,
When they beheld their guardian Laneham,
Once more at hand against their foes,
So opportunely to sustain 'em.

If e'er you want a friend to free,
Whom in a street-row you may see,
Two things are only necessary,
The first to be well dressed and very:
The second, to combine decorum
With a most copious vis verborum.*
Luckily Laneham both possessed,
And first the Serjeant he addressed :
"Take off your new recruit, nor spare him ;
"But hark
you, sir, if you molest
"This other gentleman, or bear him

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Against his will-at your behest"Aye-but a single step from hence, Sir,

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Why, tremble at the consequence, Sir.

*Anglice, "gift of words," that of which, in order to endow the Irish, Nature has, with great iniquity, cheated their neighbours the English.

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