puts the foul under the curfe and fentence of death for the leaft fin of omiffion or commiffion; therefore, by the deeds of this good law, it is evident that none can ever be justified. As I had broken every precept of the moral law in thought, word, or deed, fo I believed that what the Lord has threatened tranfgreffors with would unavoidably be executed upon me; and these two texts stood out against me, and were fadly in my way, until it pleased the Lord to fhew me that they were both fulfilled for me by Chrift's death: Curfed is every one that continueth not in all things written in the book of the law; but I have broken every precept, therefore I am the man here spoken to, confequently under the curfe of God. The other text was, The foul that finneth, it fball die: well, I have finned, therefore I am the man. These are the words of the immutable and unchangeable God, therefore there can be nothing but death eternal for me. These things working in my heart, alarmed and terrified me greatly. began to wish that I had been in my old dead ftate, for then it was better with me than now. I believed that God could not save me, but that I must perish according to his word. These things caused flavish and fervile fear to work.

I

Death and judgment tor

mented me, and the fin and guilt upon my confcience I foon found to be a load and burden too heavy for me to bear. The Lord appeared to me in his law, as he did to Balaam, with his drawn fword in his hand, as an angry judge, and a confuming fire; and VOL. II.

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fo

fo he would at this day, was the dear Redeemer taken out of fight, for he has revealed and made manifest no way in which he can be just, and yet the juftifier of the ungodly, but through his dear Son. At this time it was that the Lord was pleased, by his Spirit, to teach me to pray. I was obliged to throw away my daily prayers of, Our Father, which art in heaven, &c. and, with the poor publican in the temple, to cry, God be merciful to me a finner! and, with the jailor, What must I do to be faved? and, with Peter, Lord, fave; or I perish! My prayers now were fuch as these, which came from a miserable heart, and I never knew what it was to pray before; but now I know that it is one thing to fay prayers, and it is another thing to pray: the one is only the motion of the lips, the other fprings from a feeling fenfe of want in the heart.

My old ways of fin were now effectually hedged up with thorns, fo that I could not find my former paths; deftruction appeared on every side, and noway of escape for fome time; but at laft it pleased the Lord, in this valley of Achor, to open unto me a door of hope. When the Lord had effectually convinced me that I had nothing, and that I could do nothing in anywife to merit his favour, or contribute towards my own falvation, either in whole or in part, and that I was fearfully and totally fallen; that every faculty of my foul was out of order, and that my heart was deceitful above all things, and defperately wicked; that I could not recover my

felf,

felf, by any power of my own, from the reigning dominion of fin, the curfe of the law, the wrath revealed therein, and the tyranny of the devil; then he was pleased to fet before me his dearly beloved Son, as the only refuge from all these things, and as the finner's all-fufficient Saviour.

I remember a time when you infisted upon it that Chrift faved none but fenfible finners, and produced this text, in order to confirm it, which was Spoken by the Lord himself; I came not to call the righteous, but finners to repentance. I never heard fuch news in this world before, neither could I believe it at the time I heard it. Surely, fays I, he must be mistaken; but should he not, God knows I am a finner bad enough, and fad enough, and therefore who can tell (if it be true) but he may save me. When I got home I fet to work, like the noble Bereans of old, to examine the word, to fee whether thefe things were fo or not; when, lo! and behold it was just as you had reprefented it. Now a hope fprung up of better times, and from that time the Bible and I came together, and bleffed be God for fuch a meeting, it being now my study, meditation, and foul's delight. And oh! what comfort did fuch texts as thefe bring to my poor foul! They poured in fo faft, that before one had well delivered its joyful message there was another; like Job's meffengers, one upon the back of another.-They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are fick.Fear not, little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure

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to give you the kingdom.-For by grace are ye faved, through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.-Ho! every one that thirfteth, come ye to the waters, and be that bath no money, come ye, buy and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.-Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.—Such texts as these were running in my mind from morning till night, yea, from week's end to week's end; and, examining the word to fee who and what fort of finners had been faved, to my aftonishment I found Mary Magdalen, Manaffeh, Paul, &c. and this caufed my hope and expectation to increase exceedingly. In process of time the Lord was pleased, now a little, and then a little, to enlighten me into the doctrines of the gofpel as preached by you, and I had not a single doubt but what you faid was true. He fhewed me how that, in his dearly beloved Son, he could fave all them that believe in him, and still be true to his law and threatening, though the worst of finners, and that he was juft the Saviour I wanted, fuited in all points; and he convinced me, that out of him I must perifh and be damned, there being no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must and can be saved, but the name of Jesus Chrift; and that by faith in his blood, and righteousness alone, it is that we are justified freely from all things, and no otherwife. Imputed righteousness was the first doctrine of the gospel that the Lord was pleased to reveal and apply with power to my heart.

He

He fhewed me how that his dear Son was made fin for us (by imputation, having all the fins of the elect placed to his account) who knew no fin; and this was done that, by the imputation of his righteoufnefs (confifting both of his active and paffive obedience) we might be made the righteoufness of God in him. And in him God the Father is well pleased with his people, but then it is only and entirely on account of his righteousness, and for the fake of it, and not for any thing in them; for, was he to be extreme to mark iniquity in the very beft of their works, there could be no ftanding in judgment with him: therefore take away the imputed righteousness of the dear Redeemer, and every one must stand to his own account, and anfwer for all his fins; the consequence of which must be, everlasting destruction and endless woe.

Soon, after this precious Jefus was fet before me in all his beauty and glory, as an able, as an all-fufficient Saviour, and as the only hiding-place from the storm, and covert from the tempeft, and I had no doubt of his being fo; yet this would not do for me, I must know whether I had any part or lot in him or no. I had not a fingle doubt but all that believed in him as their Saviour, and put their trust in him as fuch, would certainly be finally and eternally faved; yet I found myself shut up in unbelief. He cannot belong to me. I could never believe that ever he veiled the glory of his divine nature in a tabernacle of flesh and blood, and fo became Ema

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nuel,