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she used to waylay me in the street as I came home at night from my work, till at last I looked to see if (he was coming, and would have gone a mile out of the way rather than meet her. These words were brought to my mind—the law ivorkefh wrath. Ah, Lord! I would cry, there is no love; we cannot unite: but the devil (who is never backward to distress the poor creature that desires to be brought on in God's way) sets in, and would fain have represented these people to me as taught of God. Well, thought I, if they are right, I must be wrong. But, bless the Lord, I was enabled to tell him all about it; and he soon set you to preach on it, and gave me to see 1 was right and they were wrong. However, the Lord was pleased to speak very comfortably to my soul before he put me into the furnace, and there the Lord shewed me what the law was. One day, at my work, he was pleased to lead my mind out in meditation about it, from what you preached the Sunday before. The Lord broke in upon my soul, and threw such light upon it, that I discovered where they all were that contended for the law as a rule for the believer to walk by: I could see they were all in bondage under it. And the Lord faid to me, " Such like pastors, such like "people." I thanked him from my soul for opening the eyes of my understanding to see it so clearly: my soul was so full I was obliged to leave my work. .1 went into the back yard, into my master's coalhouse, and poured out my foul to the Lord in
praises praises and thanksgiving for his gracious goodness i .and, while I was praising him, these words came avith power, Thou /halt be call Hepbzi-bab, for the Lord deligbtetb in tbee. I thought I should have droptdown; I cried out, " Lord, what me! the *c unworthiest of all wretches!" But the Lord, the .Spirit, turned my mind in a moment to the Lord Jesus who had atoned for all my sins. Here I was interrupted by somebody coming that way, so I left that place and betook me to another, shut myself lip, and prayed the Lord to keep me, telling him of my weakness and helplessness; when these words fame with ppwer—May my right hand forget its cunning, and my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if ever I forget tbee. Well, faid I, then here is my vow to the Lord, " May my right hand forget its f cunning, and my tongue cleave to the roof of f my mouth, if ever I forget to praise thy holy f* name," Which I asterwards asked the Lord a thoufand pardons for, but it could not be recalled; for I knew it was him alone that must work in me to will and to do: but I often think of my vow.
Now my wise had, at this time, got another shop, and fold greens, and she seemed to go on profperously; but I would have no hand in this, having had full enough of the other: so me had all the management of it herself, and was as barren in foul as she well could be.
Soon aster this the Lord laid me on a fick-bed; I soft the use of all my limbs, and, what was worse, I lost the best of friends, the Lord Jesus: I then murmured and fretted till my old rebellion began to Ihew itself; for I can assuredly fay this scripture was sulfilled in me at that time—With the perverse man J will shew myself perverse. I was in great bodily pain, and had medicines from several doctors, but all to no purpofe, for I remained in this condition about a month or five weeks; and then the Lord cased me of my pain, and I seemed to be somewhat better, with which my old man was very much pleased; but, blessed be the Lord, he would not let me come out that way, for I can see it now; but in he throws me again, makes it hotter than it was before, humbled my hard heart under it, and made me willing to submit. Then my dear Redeemer came again, indulged me with sweet manifestations of his everlasting love to me, making me willing to leave this sinful world; and, having thus humbled my flinty heart by his power, he healed my body, and set me on my legs again. Oh! what pains the Lord takes with such sinful wretches as we are. The Lord after this sent us out from that shop of dependance, and then my wise was not to escape, for he threw her into the fame way, and kept her there till I had hardly a thing left in the house. The Lord's hand seemed to go against me in all I took in hand; I prayed and cried to the Lord, and often had communion with him, and many precious promises too I received. I would watch his hand, expecting deliverance; but no ani swer: swcr: yet I would catch at every thing that came in the way. Well, thought I, this is the Lord—this is his way: but no, not yet. And I worked hard at my business, but all would not do. The Lord kept me here, and my wise ill, expecting every time I came home not to sind her alive, till I had hardly the .necessaries of lise. I thought this was hard trusting to God; but, bless him for ever, he hath since that shewed me what it is to trust in him, for all that I stand in need of. My blessed Father was obliged to scourge me a great deal before he brought down my stubborn will to his for temporal necessaries: nay, he would not so much as let me keep my benefit-club on (that I belonged to before he called me by his grace); I gave it up at last with much reluctance: but the Lord was determined I (hould have no dependance but on him. And a blessed lise this living upon the Lord is! It keeps our sear in exercise, so that I sear to offend him that supplies all my wants. Bless him, I can tell when he hears me too; and I know when I offend, to my sorrow. I am not without my doubts, sears, and trials, in the way; for I carry about me a body of sin, which is the heaviest burden I have to carry: and, in reality, it is a heavy burden to all God's children that are brought to hate sin. I sind it hard fighting against the world, sin, and Satan, when the Lord Jesus hides his face. I pass through much persecution from the world, for I labour among many enemies for my bread. I have many watch
kig for my halting; many snares, traps, and gin», the devil lays for me; but out of them all the Lord hath delivered me, and I trust he will yet deliver. He hath made me quite fick of the world; I long to be with him; there is nothing here that can fatissy my foul, if the Lord Jesus is absent. You, as a pastor sent of God, are made a great blessing to my soul; for often, when I cannot pray for myself, I can for you, and shall come away somewhat fatisfied that the Lord hath heard me. And may the Lord bless you, and keep you, and lift up the light of his countenance upon you for his own name's fake, through Jesus Christ, and for his dear children's fake, is the prayer of a poor sinful worm laved.
and faithful lbn in the faith,