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The Lord himself bless you, and guide both tongue and pen, is the prayer of,
Your very affectionate friend,
It is an easy matter with me, my dear friend, to send you an account of legal pride, self-righteousnesi, infidelity, rebellion, and the evil workings of concupiscence, for my poor heart (according to the flesll) is stuffed with nothing else, therefore it is out of the abundance of the heart that my mouth speaketh; however it is he that hateth his lise in this world, that shall keep it to lise eternal; for God's ways are not our ways, nor his thoughts our thoughts: he that exalteth himself shall be abased, and he that humbleth himself mall be exalted\ that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God; while thofe who look at him whom they have pierced shall be in bitterness for. him, and thofe that receive a new heart and a new spirit shall loathe themselves in their own sight for their iniquity. If you want any description of evil, or of the workings of it, 1 am never at a loss for that, for when I would do good, evil is always present with me; but if you want any thing that is good you puzzle me, for how to perform that which is good 1 sind not. If my heart is warm with the Lord's love, and I am heaping a thoufand blessings on his name for his goodness to me, I can seel, perceive, yea, hear with something of an ear which is within me, a thoufand curses go through my mind in a minutewhere they come from God knows, but there they be, and there they come and go; but they leave no fling of guilt, no sear of death, nor any dread of damnation, behind them; nor does God frown, rebuke, reprove, or hide his face from me, on the account of them; while this insernal flame goes hissing, like a red-hot shot, through the ear and mind of the vessel of mercy, I shudder, suck up my breath, watch their departure, and keep my mouth as it were with a bridle, till they are gone, and then go on again with the delightful trade of blessing him that blesses me. Formerly I used to view these fiery darts to be my own sin, and tremble at their dreadful effects; but the killing force of them is now gone, Christ is the shield of faith, and his blood quenches all the fiery darts of this wicked one i for they leave no guilt behind them, nor do
they they cause any distance or separation between me and my God; because the Mediator and his fountain opened is the mercy-seat between my God and my foul: the breach is closed, and Satan cannot open it again, therefore I am not asraid of the terrors by night, nor of the arrows that flee by day; because the guilt of my sins, and the wrath of my God, do not meet and work in my conscience together as before. Persect love did once cast out all fear, and .torment too; and, though I do not always enjoy that love in the heat and flame of it, yet, it having cast out sear and wrath, it keeps them out; love keeps its ground, and the devil cannot make me believe that God hates me, nor can he rank me among the classes of his enemies; for he that knoweth all things, knows that I love him dearly. But that which puzzles me most of all is, when I have been remiss in duty, cold, indifferent, carnal, liseless, unbelieving, rebellious as a devil; full of murmuring, cavelling, disputing the point; determined to have my own way, come lise or come death; cursing my hard fate, the day of my birth, and the. man that brought tidings of it; wishing myself a beast, not a beast instead of a sinner, but a beast instead of a faint. When, aster this, I have been debased, and forced to bow, and expected, that if there was any holiness in God, any truth, any justice, or any resentment left in him, that he would shew it, and ease himself of such an adverfary, and be avenged of such a rebel as I; but here I could
get get no answer. All I could gather from his conduct appeared to me to be this: I will talk to you by and by. And when I have kept watching for the rod, knowing that my fool's back called for strokes, there has come a smile, a temporal present, great energy in prayer, much pardon, access, nearness, familiarity, the deepest humility, and an account of good done in the pulpit; this, above all things under heaven, makes the Rev. Mr. Huntington nothing, and Jesus all in all, this has bled my foul to death a thoufand times over. Don't send the subscribers yet, a month's time will do. I trust it will be one of the most profitable works that I have ever sent out, but the blessing depends upon Him. God bless thee.
MY EVER DEAR FRIEND,
I Have received and read your last favour, and the Lord knows that it came in season. You know not how sweet it proved to me, and how thankful my soul was for it; and though, I believe, you designed no more than to give me some account of the Lord's kind dealings under the present dispenfation with your own soul, yet there was something for me too. I faid, aster I had read it, that I knew the voice that was in it; and indeed there is a voice, as well in your letters as your ministry, that I cannot hear any where else; and I am sure, at times, that I have heard it, and that I know it when I hear it again; and I have secretly faid, "Is it not the w voice of my beloved coming?" But you seem to intimate that there is a deal of the " noisy clamour "of unbelief" in mine; then it is no wonder that I understand it so well, for my heart is stuffed with nothing else; and I seel the influence of that desperate spirit, which you mention, so strong on my poor soul, that at times it makes me devilish! like