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about like a loft sheep. At times, as I wrote to you before, I have had great liberty when I have been among the children of God, and have been at a certainty in what I have faid; at other times I have been quite shut up, and if I have attempted to speak, I have met with a cutting reproof, fo that I cannot tell what to make of these things. I read the 9th of the Acts, as it happened, one day, and I felt that part of it with fome weight which speaks of Ananias's going to Paul; and I thought, if you had any fuch knowledge refpecting me and I refused, woe be to me if I difobeyed, for I am afraid of the Lord's rod; he can lay on a moft dreadful heavy hand, though he doth not mean to deftroy; this I know by experience. And, on the other hand, to run unfent I fee as dreadful; for he would fay, Who hath required this at your hands. to tread my courts as a teacher? and this would bring the rod alfo. So that you fee, my dear friend, that my difficulties are complicated; but, in the midst of all, may his will, and his only, be done,

While I am writing, it ftrikes my mind that there are fix people, in fix different towns about us, that will have it that I have been made ufeful to them; and I do believe fome of thefe will be my greatest troublers concerning this matter, efpecially as Mr. B-doth not feem to be much disposed to keep your letter a fecret, which I defired him to do, Some of them feem greatly pleased with your letter, and are on my back already. I tell them that I do

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not find those things in me which muft accompany a teacher; nevertheless, I hope (I tell them) to lie in the balance of God's will refpecting the matter. I referred them to Paul's experience, where he saw his call clear both as a Christian and a minifter; and if ever this was the cafe with me, they might expect to hear further of me. Pray, my dear friend, that, if it is the Lord's will, in his own due time it may be made manifeft; also, if it is not his will, it may be the fame: for I can be very well content if I am permitted to fit in the lowest seat amongst his beloved ones.

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I have one thing or two more to mention to you, if you will be pleased to bear with me, though I think, by this time, I have pretty well tired your patience. You may, perhaps, upon it, if it is from the Lord. It is as follows.The day that our dearly beloved friend O—— left us, as I was getting fome beans for my family in my garden, a frame came over my foul that, to my knowledge, I never experienced before, and how to describe it I scarce can tell my foul feemed to be fhut up from the world, and from every thing of time and sense; that is, nothing of the world had any weight with me, and I could pay attention to nothing but it. I feemed as if in travail to bring forth; it was attended with pain, yet mixed with pleafing fenfations; a spirit of prayer attended it, my whole foul was prayer, and I could scarce tell what about. The tenor of my prayer, as I went

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about, was in fuch words as thefe :-Lord, deliver me-Lord, keep me from error-Lord, have mercy on me-Lord, direct me into all truth-Lord, let thy will be done-Lord, suffer me not to be carried away with enthufiafm; with many fuch expreffions as these. This is a faint idea of it, for it was better felt than I can exprefs it. However, I went up stairs, and fell down on my knees before the Lord, to beg him, if he pleafed, to make me understand what was his meaning; thereby two fcriptures came to my mind while I was at prayer: the first was this" Rejoice, O daughter of Zion!" and the other was, "Be in pain to bring forth, O daughter " of Zion!" That word, "be in pain,” and “la"bour to bring forth," feemed to be a little like my experience; but what was, or is to be, brought forth, I know not. I prayed to the Lord that I might not bring forth wind. This continued, at times, a day or two; but what it means I cannot tell. If there are any traces of it in the course of your experience and God's gracious dealings with you, I hope you will be enabled to throw fome light upon it. I fhall not trouble you with much more at the prefent, only beg that you will for once, as early as you can, be pleafed to pay attention to this confused jumble of a letter, and I fhall take it as a moft fingular kindness indeed. I am forry to hear of your prefent trouble, &c. &c. May the Lord, of his infinite mercy, deliver you, and all thofe that are Jefus Chrift's, that may be entangled

in the net. If ever you find opportunity to come among us, I hope you will not wait for an invitation in particular, for we fhall at any time be glad to fee you; only write us a letter before you come. My love to you and yours; likewife to Mr. O

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his, and I hope fhortly to hear of his safe arrival in town. My wife joins with me in the fame. May the best of bleffings attend you. Amen.

From your loving and affectionate brother

(I hope) in the Lord,

A. R.

LETTER

LETTER XIV.

To Mr. A- R

BELOVED OF GOD,

Grace, mercy, and peace, be with thee, through
Chrift Jefus our Lord,

If thou thinkest to bring infidelity over to the divine standard, or if thou art in expectation of the old man becoming loyal to Chrift, thou art labouring in vain; that Ethiopian will never be white, nor wilt thou change one spot of that leopard. He is in alliance with none but Satan, who is never divided against himself. If he was, how could his kingdom ftand? The Lord enlightens us; but Satan tries to blind our eyes, to keep the glorious light of the gospel out. Satan aims to rock us to fleep; the Lord empties us from veffel to veffel, that we may not fettle `upon our lees, or get carnally fecure. If thou waft a hypocrite, Satan would be divided against himself, if he was to tell thee of it: this would be acting against his own interest, whose business is to keep his goods in peace, and not to difquiet his own house. In fhort, to nurse pride and buffet the humble; to nourish a falfe hope and op

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