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Re-enter Prince Henry and Poins.
P. Hen. The thieves have bound the true men: Now could thou and I rob the thieves, and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good ‘est for ever.
Pvious. Staud close, I hear them coming.
Fal. Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring; there's no more valour in that Poins, than in a wild duck. P. Hen. Your money. [Rushing out upon them. Points. Villains. [As they are sharing, the PRINCE and PosNs set upon them. Falstaff, after a bloor or two, and the rest, run au'ay. tear-ing their booty behind them.] P. Hen. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse : The thieves are scatter'd, and possess'd with fear So strongly, that they dare not meet each other: Farh takes his fellow for an officer. Awav, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death, And hards " the lean earth as he walks along : Wert not for laughing, I should pity him. Poins. How the rogue roar'd : [Ereunt.
But, for mine own part, my lord, I rould be trett contented to be there, in resf: of the lore I bear your house.—He could
contented,—why is he not then in respect of the love he bears our house :-he shows in this he loves his own barn better than he loves our house. Let me see some more. The purpose *ew undertake is dangerous ;-Why, that's cer. tain: 'tis dangerous to take a cold, to sleep, to drink: but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this lettle, dauger, we pluck this flower, safety. The Porpose you undertake, is dangerous ; the Jriods you have named, uncertain ; the time itself unsorted ; and your whole plot too light, for the counterpoise of so great an opposition. —say you o, say you so...? I say unto you again, you are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lack-brain is this By the Lord, our Plot is a good plot as ever was laid: our friends one and constant: a good plot, good friends, and fall of expectation : an excellent plot, very good fronds. What a frosty-spirited rogue is this? *by, my lord of York commends the plot, and the general course of the action. "Zounds, an 1 *ere now by this rascal, I could brain him *ith his lady's fan. Is there not my father, ray uncle, and myself? lord Edward Mortimer, my lord of York, and Owen Glendower 7 is torre not, besides, the Douglas ! Have i not all their letters, to meet me in arms by the ninth * the next unonth t and are they not, some of them, set, forward already to what "a pagan rocal is this 1 an infidel f Hal you shail see **, in very sincerity of fear and cold heart, **", he to the king; and lay open all our pro. ***ings.. O I could divide myself, and go to buffrts, for moving such a dish of skimmed *** *ith so honourable an action 1 Hang him : * him toll the king: we are prepared: "i" will ** two oard to-night.
A banish’d woman from my Harry's bed f
Enter SER v ANT.
Serv. He is, my lord, an hour ago. Hot. Hath Butler brought these horses from the sherift r Serv. One horse, my lord, he brought even now. Hot. What horse ? a roan, a crop-ear, is it not t Serv. It is, my lord. Hot. That roan shall be my throne. Well, I will back him straight: 0 esperance t— Bid Butler lead him forth into the park. [Erit SER v ANT. Lady. But hear you, my lord. Hot. What say'st, my lady ? Lady. What is it carries you away 1 Hut. My horse, My love, my horse. Lady. Out, you mad-headed ape I A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen, As you are toss'd with. In saith, I'll know your business, Harry, that I will. I fear my brother Mortimer doth stir About his title : and hath sent for you, To line : his enterprize; But if you go— Hot. So far afoot, I shall be weary, love. Lady. Come, come, you paraquito, answer ine Directly to this question that I ask. In faith, 1'll break thy little finger, Harry, An if thou wilt not tell me all things true. Hot. Away, Away, you trifler —Love?—I love thee not, I care not for thee, Kate : this is no world, To play with Inaummets, and to tilt with lips :
Boling. Good annt, stand tip.
Dutch. O happy vautage of a kneeling knee l Yet am 1 sick for fear : speak it again ; twice saying pardon, dotb not pardon twain, . But makes one pardon strong. Boling. With all my heart I pardon him. 19ach. A god on earth thout art. Boling. But for our trusty brother-in-law, and the abbot, with all the rest of that consorted crew, Destruction straight shall dog them at the heels.-Good uncle, help to order several powers" To Oxford, or where'er these traitors are: They shall not live within this world, I swear, But I will have thrm, if I once know where. Uncle, farewell,—and cousin too, adieu:
Your mother weii hath pray'd, and prove you true.
Duch. Come, my old son :-I pray God make
thee new. [Ereunt.
A. Rich. I have been studying how I may
* Forces. + His own body.
cup of sack, boy.—Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew netherstocks, * and mend them, and foot them too. A plague of all cowards 1–Give me a cup of sack, rogue.—Is there no virtue extant f [He drinks. P. Hen. Didst thou never see ilitan kiss a dish of butter 1 pitiful hearted Titan, that melted at the sweet tale of the son 1 if thou didst, then behold that compound. Pal. You rogue, here’s lime in this sack too : There is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous Inan : Yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it ; a villainous coward.— Go thy ways, old Jack ; die when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten her. ring. There live not three good men unhanged in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old : God help the while a bad world, I say : I won!d I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or any thing ; A plague of all cowards, I say still. P. Hen. How now, wool-sack? what mutter you ? Pat. A king's son ' If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdon with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more. You prince of Wales 1 P. Hen. Why, what's the matter Fat. Are you not a coward 2 answer me to that ; and Poins there 7 Poins. "Zounds, ye sat paunch, an ye call me coward, I’ll stab the e. Fal. I call thee coward ' I'll see thee damned ere I call thee coward: but I would give a thousand pound, I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders, you rare not who sees your back : Call you that backing of your friends : A plague upon such backing ! give ine them that will face me.—Give rue a cup of sack :-I am a rogue, if I drunk to-law. P. Hen. O villain thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunk'st last. Fal. All's one for that. arts, still say I. 12. hers. What’s the matter t Fal. What's the matter 1 there be four of us here have ta'en a thousand pound this mornlag. P. Hen. Where is it, Jack 7 where is it ! Pat. Where is it? taken from us it is : a hundred upon poor four of us. P. Hen. What, a hundred, man 7 Fal. I am a rogue, if I were not at halfsword with a dozen of them two hours together. 1 base 'scap'd by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four, through the bose ; my buckler cut through and through ; any sword hacked like a hand-saw, ecce signum. I never dealt better since I was a man ; all **uld not do. A plague of all cowards !—Let thern speak: if they speak more or less than truth, they are villains, and the sons of darktoess. P. Hen. Speak, Sirs; how was it t Gods. We four set upon some dozen, Fat. Sixteen, at least, my lord. Goofs. And bound their. feta. No, no, they were not bound. Fat. You rogue, they were bound, every man of them ; or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew. Gods. As we were sharing, some six or seven fre-b ruen set upon us, Fal. And unbound the rest, and then come in the other. a. He n. What, fought ye with them all 1 Fari. All 3 l know not what ye call, all ; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of rail-la : if shere were not two or three and
you whoreson round man :
A plague of all cow[He drinks.
fifty upon poor old Jack, then I am no two-legged creature.
Poins. Pray God, you have not murdered some of them. Fal. Nay, that's past praying for : for I have peppered two of them: two, I am sure, I have paid ; two rogues in buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal,—if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward ;-here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me.—— P. Hen. What, four ! thou said'st but two, even now. Fal. Four, Hal ; I told thee four. Poins. Ay, ay, he said four. Fal. These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me. I made me no more ado, but took all their seven points in Iny target, thus. P. Hen. Seven f why, there were but four even now. Fal. In buckram. Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits. ot. Seven by these hilts, or I am a villain else. P. Hen. Pr'ythee, let him alone; we shall have more anon. Fal. Dost thou hear me, Half P. Hen. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack. Fal. Do so, for it is worth the listening to, These nine in buckram, that I told thee of, P. Hen. So, two more already. Fal. Their points being broken,-Poins. Down fell their hose. Fal. Began to give me ground : But I fol. lowed me close, came in foot and hand; and, with a thought, seven of the eleven I paid. P. Hen. O monstrous ! eleven buckrain men grown out of two Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves, in Kendal green, came at my back, and let drive at ine;—for it was so dark, Hai, that thou could'st not see thy hand. P. Hen. These lies are like the father that begets them : gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brained guts; thou knottypated fool; thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-keech,-'al. What, art thou mad 7 art thou mad? is not the truth the truth f P. Hen. Why, how could'st thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was so dark thou could'st not see thy hand 2 come, tell us your reason 1 What sayest thou to this 1 Poins. Conne, your reason, Jack, your reason. Fal. What, upon compulsion ? No; were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion l if reasons were as plenty as blackberries, I would give no inan a reason upon compulsion, I. P. Hen. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin : this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh ;— Fal. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's pizzle, you stockfish,_O for breath to utter what is like thee I —you tailor's yard you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck ;—— P. Hen. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again ; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear ine speak but this. Poins. Mark, Jack. P. Hen. We two saw you four set on four ; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth ; (mark now, how plain a tale shall put you down,) then did we two set on you four, and, with a word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it ; yea, and can show it you here in the house :-and, Falstaff, you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard a bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou uast done, and then
say it was in fight f what trick, what device,
Host. My lord the prince,— P. Hen. How now, my lady the hostess, what say'st thou to me ! Host. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the court at door, would speak with you : he says he comes from your father. P. Hen. Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back again to my mother. Fal. What manner of man is he f - Host. An old man. * Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight 7–Shall I give him his answer t P. Hen. Pr’ythee, do, Jack. Fal. "Faith, and I'll send him packing. [Erit. P. Hen. Now, Sirs; by’r lady, you fought fair:-so did you, Peto ;-so did you, Bardolph : you are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, you will not touch the true prince : no, —fie : Bard. "Faith, I ran when I saw others run. P. Hen. Tell me now in ealuest, How came Falstaff's sword so hacked f Peto. Why, he hacked it with his dagger, and said, he would swear truth out of England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight; and persuaded us to do the like. Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear. grass, to make them bleed; and then to be slubber our garments with it, and swear it was the blood of true men. I did that I did not this seven year before, I blushed to hear his monstious devices. P. Hen. O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the manner," and ever since thou hast blush'd extempore: Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou ran'st away; What instinct hadst thou for it ! Bard. My lord, do you see these meteorst Do you behold these exhalations f P. Hen. I do. Bard. What think you they portcmd 1 P. Hen. Hot livers and cold purses. 4 Bard. Choler, my lord, if rightly taken. P. Hen. No, if rightly taken, halter.
Here comes lean Jack, here comes barebone.
- * In the fact. * Drunkenness and poverty. 1 Bombast is the stuflius of clothes,
years, Hal, I was not an eagle’s talon in the
Fat. Peace, good point-pot; peace, good tickle-brain. *—Harry, I do not only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also how thou art accompanied : for though the camomile, the more it is trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth, the more it is, wasted, the sooner it wears. That thou art my son, I have partly thy mother’s word, partly iny own opinion ; but chiefly, a villianous trick of thine eye, and a foolish hanging of thy nether lip, that doth warrant me. If then thou be son to me, here lies the point;-Why, being son to me, art thou so pointed at t Shall the blessed sun of heaven prove a micher, and eat black-berries? a question not to be asked. Shall the son of England prove a thief, and take purses f a question to be asked. There is a thing, Hairy, which thou hast often heard of, and it is known to many in our land by the name of pitch : this pitch, as antient writers do report, doth defile: so doth the company thou keepest: for, Harry, now I do not speak to thee in drink, but in tears; not in pleasure, but in passion; not in words only, but in woes also:—And yet there is a virtuous man, whom I have often noted in thy company, but i know not his name. P. Hen. What manner of man, an it like your majesty 1 Fal. A good portly man, i'faith, and a corpulent; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by’r lady, inclining to three-score; and now I remember me, his name is Falstaff: is that man should be lewdly given, he deceiveth ine ; for, Harry, I see virtue in his looks. If then the tree may be known by the fruit, as the fruit by the tree, then, peremptorily i speak it, there is virtue in that Falstaff: him keep with, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou naughty variet, tell me, where hast thou been this ILoath r P. Hen. Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me, and I’ll play my father. Fal. Depose me t if thou dost it half so gravely, so majestically, both in word and matter, hang me up by the heels for a rabbet-sucker, or a poulter’s hare. P. Hen. Well, here I am set. Fal. And here I stand :-judge, my masters. P. Hen. Now, Harry 1 whence come you t Fat. My noble lord, from Eastcheap. P. Hen. The complaints I hear of thee are grievous Fal. 'Shlood, my lord, they are false:—nay, I'll tickle ye for a young prince, i'faith. P. Hen. Swearest thou, ungracious boy 7 henceforth ne'er look on me. Thou art violently carried away from grace : there is a devil haunts thee, in the likeness of a fat old man : a tun of man is thy companion. Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch 5 of beastliness, that swoln parcel of dropsies, that boxe bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree *s ox with the pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that father rushan, that vanity in years 1 wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? wherein neat and cleauly, but to carve a capon and eat it ! wherein cunning but in craft wherein crafty, but in villany to wherein villainous, but in all things 1 wherein worthy, but in nothing f Fat. I would your grace would take me with you ; ** whom means your grace P. Hen. That villainous abominable mis:. of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded tan. Aoat. My lord, the man I know. P. Hon. I know thou dost.
Fal. But to say I know more harm in him than in myself, were to say more than i know. That he is old, (the more the pity,) his white hairs do witness it; but that he is (saving your reverence,) a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know, is damned : if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh’s lean kine are to be loved. No, my good lord; banish Peto, banish Baldolph, banish Poins : but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not him thy Harry’s company ; banish plump Jack, and banish all the world. P. Hen. I do, I will. [A knocking heard. [Ereunt Hostess, FRANcis, and BARDolph.
Re-enter BARDolph, running.
Bard. O my lord, my lord; the sheriff, with a most monstrous watch, is at the door.
Fal. Out, you rogue i play out the play : I *: much to say in the behalf of that Falstaff.
Re-enter Hostess, hastily.
Host. O Jesu, my lord, my lord l— Fal. Heigh, heigh I the devil rides upon a fiddlestick: What's the matter 1 Host. The sheriff and all the watch are at the door : they are come to search the house; Shall l let them in f Fal. Dost thou hear, Half never call a true piece of gold a counterfeit : thou art essentially inad, without seeming so. P. Hen. And thou a natural coward, without instinct. Fal. I deny your major ; if you will deny the sheriff, so ; if not, let him enter : if I become not a cart as well as another man, a plague on my bringing up ! I hope I shall as soon be strangled with a halter, as another. P. Hen. Go, hide thee behind the arras;the rest walk up above. Now, my masters, for a true face, and good conscience. Fal. Both which I have had : is out, and therefore I’ll hide me. [Ereunt all but the PRINce and Poins. P. Hen. Call in the sheriff.
Enter Sheriff and CARR1 ER.
Now, master sheriff; what's your will with me !
but their date