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A Foreigner at length inform'd the King,
That slaughter'd Guests would kindly Moisture bring.
The King reply'd : On thee the Lot shall fall;
Be thou, my Guest, the Sacrifice for all.
Thus Phalaris Perillus taught to low,
And made him feason first the brazen Cow.
A rightful Doom, the Laws of Nature cry,
lis, the Artificers of Death should dis.
Thus juftly Women suffer by Deceit ;
Their Practice authorizes us to cheat.
Beg her, with Tears, thy warm Defires to grant ;
For Tears will pierce a Heart of Adamant.
If Tears will not be squeez'd, then rub your Eye,
Or'noint the Lids, and seem at leaft to cry.
Kiss, if you can : Relistance if she make,
And will not give you Kisses, let her take.
Fy, fy, you naughty Man, are Words of course;
She struggles but to be fubdu'd by Force.
Kiss only soft, I charge you, and beware,
With your hard Bristles not to brush the Fair.
He who has gain'da Kiss, and gains no more,
Deserves to lose the Bliss he got before.
If once she kiss, her Meaning is expreft ;
There wants but little Pushing for the rest :
Which if thou doft not gain, by Strength or Art,
The Name of Clown then suits with thy Defert ;
“T'is downright Dulness, and a shameful Part.
Perhaps, the calls it Force ; but, if she 'scape,
She will not thank you for th' omitted Rape.
The Sex is cunning to conceal their Fires ;
They would be forc'd e'en to their own Desires.
They seem t'accufe you, with a downcaft Sight,
But in their Souls confefs you did them right.
Who might be forc'd, and yet untouch'd depart,
Thank with their Tongues, but curse you with their
Fair Pheebe and her Sister did prefer
[Heart. To their dull Mates the noble Ravisher.
What Deidamia did, in Days of yore,
The Tale is old, but worth the telling o'er.
When Venus had the golden Apple gain’d,
And the just Judge fair Helen had obtain'd:
When she with Triumph was at Troy receivd,
The Trojans joyful, while the Grecians griev'd:
They vow'd Revenge of violated Laws,
And Greece was arming in the Cuckold's Cause :
Achilles, by his Mother warn’d from War,
Disguis’d his Sex, and lurk'd among the Fair.
What means Æacides to spin and sew ?
With Spear and Sword in Field thy Valour shew ;
And, leaving this, the nobler Pallas know.
Why dost thou in that Hand the Distaff wield,
Which is more worthy to sustain the Shield ?
Or with that other draw the woolly Twine,
The same the Fates for HeEtor's Thread assign?
Brandish thy Falchion in thy pow'rful Hand,
Which can alone the pond'rous Lance command.
In the fame Room by chance the Royal Maid
Was lodg'd, and, by his seeming Sex betray'd,
Close to her fide the youthful Hero laid.
I know not how his Courtship he began ;
But, to her Cost, she found it was a Man.
'Tis thought she struggl’d; but withal 'tis thought,
Her Wish was to be conquer'd, when she fought.
For when disclos'd, and hast'ning to the Field,
He laid his Diftaff down, and took the Shield,
With Tears her humble Suit she did prefer,
And thought to stay the grateful Ravisher.
She fighs, the fobs, she begs him not to part: And now 'cis Nature, what before was Art. She strives by Force her Lover to detain, And wishes to be ravish'd once again. This is the Sex, they will not first begin, But, when compellid, are pleas'd to suffer Sin. Is there, who thinks that Women firit should woo! Lay by thy Self-conceit, thou foolith Beau. Begin, and save their Modesty the Shame; 'Tis well for thee, if they receive thy Flame. "I'is decent for a Man to speak his mind They but expect th' Occasion to be kind. Alk, that thou mayst enjoy ; Me waits for this; And on thy firit Advance depends thy Bliss. E'en Jove himself was fore’d to sue for Love; None of the Nymphs did first folicit Jove. But if you find your Pray’rs increase her Pride, Strike fail awhile, and wait another Tide, They fly when we pursue ; but make Delay, And, when they see you slacken, they will stay. Sometimes it profits to conceal your
End ; Name not your
self her Lover, but her Friend.
skittish Girls have thus been caught? He prov'da Lover, who a Friend was thought. Sailors by Sun and Wind are swarthy made ; A tann'd Complexion best becomes their Trade. 'Tis a disgrace to Ploughmen to be fair ; Bluff Cheeks they have, and weather-beaten Hair. Th'ambitious Youth, who seeks an Olive Crown, Is sun-burnt with his daily Toil, and brown. But if the Lover hopes to be in Grace, Wan be his Looks, and meagre be his Face. 'That Colour from the Fair Compassion draws : She thinks you fick, and thinks her self the Cause.
Orion wander'd in the Woods for Love :
His Paleness did the Nymphs to pity move ;
His ghaftly Visage argu'd hidden Love.
Nor fail a Night-cap, in full Health, to wear ;
Neglect thy Dress, and discompose thy Hair.
All things are decent, that in Love avail :
Read long by Night, and study to be Pale :
Forsake your Food, refuse your needful Reit;
Be miserable, that you may be bleit.
Shall I complain, or shall I warn you most ?
Faith, Truth, and Friendship in the World are lost ;
A little and an empty Name chey boast.
Trust not thy Friend, much less thy Mistress praise ;
If he believe, thou mayst a Rival raife.
'Tis true, Patroclus, by no Luft mified,
Sought not to stain his dear Companion's Bed.
Nor Pylades Hermione embrac'd ;
E'en Phædra to Pirithous ftill was chaste.
But hope not thou, in this vile Age, to find
Those rare Examples of a faithful Mind.
The Sea shall sooner with sweet Honey flow ;
Or from the Furzes Pears and Apples grow.
We sin with Guít, we love by Fraud to gain ;
And find a Pleasure in our Fellow's Pain.
From Rival Foes you may the Fair defend ;
Bur, would you ward the Blow, beware your
Friend, Beware your Brother, and your next of Kin ; But from
Bosom-Friend your Care begin.
Here I had ended, but Experience finds,
That fundry Women are of lundry Minds ;
With various Crotchets fill'd, and hard to please :
They therefore must be caught by various Ways.
All things are not produc'd in any Soil ;
This Ground for Wine is proper, that for Oil.
So'tis in Men, but more in Woman-kind :
Diff'rent in Face, in Manners, and in Mind :
But wise Men shift their Sails with every Wind :
As changeful Proteus vary'd oft his Shape,
And did in fundry Forms and Figures 'Icape ;
A running Stream, a standing Tree became,
A roaring Lion, or a bleating Lamb.
Some Fish with Harpons, fome with Darts are struck,
Some drawn with Nets, some hang upon the Hook:
So turn thy self; and imitating them,
Try fev'ral Tricks, and change thy Stratagem.
One Rule will not for diff'rent Ages hold ;
The Jades grow cunning, as they grow more old.
Then talk not Baudy to the bafhful Maid ;
Broad Words will make her Innocence afraid.
Nor to an ign'rant Girl of Learning speak ;
She thinks you conjure, when you talk in Greek.
And hence 'tis often seen, the Simple shun
The Learn'd, and into vile Embraces run.
Part of my Task is done, and Part to do :
But here 'ois time to reft my self and you.
F Bodies chang'd to various Forms I fing :
Inspire my Numbers with Cæleftial Heat ;
'Till I my long laborious Work compleat ;
And add perpetual Tenour to my Rhymes,
Deduc'd from Nature's Birth to Cæsar's Times.