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EVANS. Yes, pe'r-lady: if he has a quarter of your coat,
SHAL. Ha! O' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
EVANS. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLEN. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and
speaks small like a woman.
EVANS. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections !), give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHAL. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot
SHAL. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The Knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be rul'd by your well-willers. I will
1 the Court of Star Chamber. ́s
peat the door [knocks] for Master Page. What, hoa! What, hoa! all Got pless your house here!
of ont bo
PAGE, Who's there?
you for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHAL. Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much good do it your good heart! I wish'd your venison better; it was ill kill'd.1 How doth good Mistress Page?—And I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart.
PAGE. Sir, I thank you.
SHAL. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE, I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLEN. How does your fallow greyhound, Sir? I heard say, he was out-run on Cotsall.
PAGE. It could not be judg'd, Sir.
"Tis a good dog.
PAGE. A cur, Sir.
SLEN. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
SHAL. That he will not.--'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault!
SHAL. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog. Can there
bbe more said? he is good, and fair.
PAGE. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good
office between you.
EVANS. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHAL. He hath wrong'd me, Master Page.
PAGE. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHAL. If it bé confess'd, it is not redress'd: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed he hath; at a word, he hath. Believe me :-Robert Shallow, Esquire, saith he is wrong'd.
PAGE. Here comes Sir John.
1 ill shot, and then coursed and jugulated.
Enter SIR JOHN Falstaff, BarDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL. FAL. Now, Master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the King?
SHAL. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer, and broke open my lodge.
FAL. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?
SHAL. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer❜d.
FAL. I will answer it straight: I have done all this.
SHAL. The Council shall know this.
FAL. "Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you 'll be laugh'd at.
EVANS. Pauca verba, Sir John: good worts.
FAL. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head. What matter have you against me?
SLEN. Marry, Sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching1 rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards pick'd my pocket. BARD. You Banbury cheese!2
SLEN. Ay, it is no matter.
PIST. How now, Mephostophilus ?
SLEN. Ay, it is no matter.
NYM. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice!
SLEN. Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin? EVANS. Peace! I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is-Master Page, fidelicet, Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine Host of the Garter. 132 PAGE. We three, to hear it, and end it between them. EVANS. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my notebook; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
PIST. He hears with ears.
EVANS. The Tevil and his Tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations.
2 you thin thing.
3 (slang) sword it. 4 (slang) the sort of man I am.
FAL. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?
FAL. Is this true, Pistol?
EVANS. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
PIST. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John, and master mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilboe!2
Se Word of denial in thy labras3 here
Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLEN. By these gloves, then 'twas he!
SLEN. By this hat, then he in the red face had it; for
FAL. What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARD. Why, Sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had
drunk himself out of his five sentences.
EVANS. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is !
SLEN. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD
PAGE. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in: we'll drink
1 shillings. 2 sword of tin. 3 (Sp. palabras, words, and labro, upper lip) teeth. 4 constable's.
5 (slang) fuddled. 6 (slang) non compos mentis. 7 (slang) and there you are.
PAGE. How now, Mistress Ford?
FAL. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
[Exeunt all but SHAL., SLEN., and EVANS. SLEN. I had rather than forty shillings I had my book of Songs and Sonnets1 here—
How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?
SIM. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?
SHAL. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry this, coz. There is, as 'twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
SLEN. Ay, Sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
SHAL. Nay, but understand me.
EVANS. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. SLEN. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray
you, pardon me; he's a Justice of Peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
EVANS. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage.
SHAL. Ay, there's the point, Sir.
EVANS. Marry, is it; the very point of it: to Mistress
SLEN. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
EVANS. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of
1 Tottel's Miscellany (1557).