A

DIALOGUE

M.

BETWEEN

МАНОМЕТ,

AND THE

Duke of Guife.

HOME let us fit down here, and laugh a little together at all those tricks you and I have put upon the world. G. WITH all my heart: What better use could we have made of it? Is mankind fit for any thing elfe but to be coufened?

M. YET you must confefs that my way is the more noble, and had fomething of the fublime in it; you did your business by nothing but meer cringeing.

G

G. You are mistaken: There goes more to popularity than that comes to; and yet the cringeing you fpeak of, when 'tis of the Mind, is no fuch easy matter.

M. NOT to fo lofty a one as yours, per. haps; low ftooping makes a tall man's back ake.

G. You are merry, Sir, and therefore I suppose will not be loth to confess some of your noble tricks, as you call them.

M. ON condition you tell yours.

G. AGREED, and pray begin: Mine was but lay-diffembling, which ought to give place to divine-hypocrify.

M. You have heard of my Pigeon, I war.

rant.

G. YES, and of your Owls too: Could fuch a gross thing pass among them?

M. As cafily as a Creed: Nay, at laft, I might have spared my pains of teaching the pretty bird; for the rabble would have fancied her at my ear, tho' fhe had been all the while fluttering in their faces.

G. NAY, tho' fhe had been picking out their eyes. For I must acknowledge you the beft of all the Bigot-makers that ever I read of; my superftitious coxcombs never reach'd either the devotion, or morality of yours.

M. THAT is, because I laid a better bait than any in your Legends. Do you think there is any refifting the enjoyment of beautiful women with great eyes, for fifty years together? Is not that more defirable, than paffing through flames of purgatory, to only spiritual imaginary pleasures?

G. BUT fure our joys unspeakable are above even yours, which indeed in decency ought to have been unspeakable too.

M. HAVE a care of that; 'twill never do. Whatever is unfpeakable, is also unconceiva ble. But this was not your fault, the schoolmen fhould have mended it.

G. ABUNDANCE of them have try'd to do it.

M. BUT to no purpose: 'Tis fuch a patch'd business, between the fuperftitions of old Rome and new Rome blended together, that the wife at last were afham'd to wear it, and did as good as throw it quite off, by what they call'd a Reformation.

G. VERY well, Sir. But is any thing fo ridiculous as your lyes?

M. YES, your Legends. But fhall I confess a truth will make amends for all my Lyes?

G. THAT will be fomething difficult.

M.

M. I began to believe them my self at laft.

G. Oh ridiculous!

M. I was fo very fortunate, that I fancied my self a kind of favourite of Heaven; and if I had been put to it, 'tis not impoffible but I might have died a martyr for a religion of my own invention.

G. THIS is more incredible than any thing in your whole Alcoran.

M. THEN, for all your popularity, you are not much skill'd in mankind. Why, we are all but over-grown children, afraid in the dark of our own scare-crows; and as fond too fometimes of the babies we our felves trick up.

G. Is it poffible?

M. YES, to flatter a man into any thing: ALEXANDER himself, that pupil of ARISTOTLE, and the very top of all humanity, did at last believe that JUPITER was really his father; and by his faying that fleep and luft convinc'd him of his being mortal, 'tis plain he fometimes doubted it.

G. LIKE enough. And did your inftru ments SERGIUS the Monk, and the reft, believe themselves too?

M. RELI

M. RELIGIOUS fort of men, you know, out-do all others in flattery; and I having fet them up for my ends, they fanctified me for theirs, 'till we almoft acted our felves into a real veneration for one another. But tell me now a little of your pranks, for you play'd them, I hear, to fome purpose.

G. I had fo, if the business at Blois had not prevented me.

M. BUT you had a fine time of it 'till then.

G. VERY far from it.

Rowing in the Gallies is nothing to the toil of popularity; but ambition is rebutted with nothing.

M. WHY, pray where was all this trou

ble?

G. FIRST, I never said one word I thought, and pass'd all my life in gaining fuch People's affections, whom all the while I contemn'd for being deceiv'd fo groffly.

M. BUT yet, you had the pleasure of advancing your friends every day.

G. As feldom as poffible, and did it always unwillingly.

M. How then came they to follow you fo much, and almost adore you as you went along the streets? ·

G. Now