Then wit, and parts, and valour, may
Be ali’nated, and made
away, By those that are proprietors, As I may give or sell my horse.
Quoth Me, I grant the case is true, And proper 'twixt
your But whether I may take, as well As you may give away or sell ?
690 Buyers, you know, are bid beware ; And worse than thieves receivers are. How shall I answer Hue and Cry, For a Roan-gelding, twelve hands high, All spurr'd and switch'd, a lock on 's hoof, A forrel mane? Can I bring proof Where, when, by whom, and what y' were sold for, And in the open market tollid for? Or, should I take you for a stray, You must be kept a year and day,
700 (Ere I can own you) here i’ th' pound, Where, if ye 're sought, you may be found ; And in the mean time I must pay For all your provender and hay. Quoth he, It stands me much upon
705 T'enervate this objection, And prove myself, by topick clear, No gelding, as you would infer. Loss of virility's averr'd To be the cause of loss of beard,
710 That does (like embryo in the womb) Abortive on the chin become :
This first a woman did invent,
In envy of man's ornament,
Semiramis of Babylon,
Who first of all cut men o' th' stone,
To mar their beards, and laid foundation
Of fow-geldering operation :
Look on this beard, and tell me whether
Eunuchs wear such, or geldings either ?
Next it appears I am no horse,
That I can argue and discourse,
Have but two legs, and ne'er a tail.
Quoth she, That nothing will avail;
For some philosophers of late here,
Write men have four legs by Nature,
And that 'tis custom makes them go
Erroneously upon but two ;
As 'twas in Germany made good,
B’ a boy that lost himself in a wood,
And growing down t'a man, was wont
With wolves upon all four to hunt.
As for your reasons drawn from tails,
We cannot say they ’re true or false,
Till you explain yourself, and show
B' experiment 'tis so or no.
Quoth he, If
you 'll join issue on 't,
I'll give you satisfactory, account;
So
you will promise, if you lose, To settle all, and be my spouse.
That never shall be done (quoth me) To one that wants, a tail, by me;
For tails by Nature sure were meant,
As well as beards, for ornament;
And though the vulgar count them homely,
In men or beast they are so comely,
So gentee, alamode, and handsome,
I'll never marry man that wants one :
And till you can demonstrate plain,
You have one equal to your mane,
I'll be torn piece-meal by a horse,
Ere I'll take you for better or worse.
The Prince of Cambay's daily food
Is asp, and basilisk, and toad,
Which makes him have so strong a breath,
Each night he stinks a queen to death ;
Yet I shall rather lie in 's arms
Than your's on any other terms.
Quoth he, What Nature can afford
I Mall produce, upon my word ;
And if she ever gave that boon
I'll prove that I have one ;
I mean by postulate illation,
When you shall offer just occasion ;
But since ye 'ave yet deny'd to give
My heart, your prisoner, a reprieve,
But made it fink down to my heel,
Ler that at least your pity feel ;
And for the sufferings of your martyr,
Give it's poor entertainer quarter ;
And by discharge, or mainprize, grant
Delivery from this base reítraint.
Quoth she, I grieve to see your leg
Stuck in a hole here like a peg,
And if I knew which way to do 't,
(Your honour safe) I'd let you out.
That dames by jail-delivery
Of errant knights have been set free,
When by enchantment they have been,
And sometimes for it, too, laid in,
Is that which knights are bound to do
By order, oath, and honour too ;
For what are they renown'd and famous elfe,
But aiding of distressed damosels ?
But for a lady, no ways errant,
To free a knight, we have no warrant
In any authentical romance,
Or classick author yet of France ;
And I'd be loth to have
you
break
An ancient custom for a freak,
Or innovation introduce
In place of things of antique use,
To free your heels by any course
That might b'unwholesome to your spurs :
Which if I should consent unto,
It is not in my power to do ;
For 'tis a service must be done ye
With folemn previous ceremony ;
Which always has been us'd t' untie
The charms of those who here do lie :
For as the Ancients heretofore
To Honour's temple had no door
But that which thorough Virtue's lay;
So from this dungeon there 's no way
To honour'd freedom, but by passing
That other virtuous school of lashing,
Where knights are kept in narrow lists,
With wooden lockets 'bout their wrists;
In which they for a while are tenants,
And for their ladies suffer penance:
Whipping, that 's Virtue's governess,
Tutress of arts and sciences ;
That mends the gross mistakes of Nature,
And puts new life into dull matter ;
That lays foundation for renown,
And all the honours of the gown :
This suffer'd, they are set at large,
And freed with honourable discharge ;
Then, in their robes, the penitentials
Are straight presented with credentials,
And in their way attended un
By magistrates of every town ;
And, all respect and charges paid,
They ’re to their ancient seats convey'd.
Now if
you 'll venture, for my fake,
To try the toughness of your back,
And suffer (as the rest have done)
The laying of a whipping-on
(And may you prosper in your suit
As you with equal vigour do 't)
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