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Then, come old age whene'er it will,
APOLLO; OR, A PROBLEM SOLVED. 1731.
· Apollo, god of light and wit,
Yet, with his beauty, wealth, and parta,
Three weighty caụses were assign'd,
His singing was another fault;
THE PLACE OF THE DAMNED.
All folks, who pretend to religion and grace,
damn'd knaves, Damn'd senators brib'd, damn'd prostitute slaves; Damn'd lawyers and judges, damn'd lords and
damnd squires; Damp'd spies and informers, damnd friends, and
damo'd liars; Damnd villains, corrupted in every station; Damn'd timeserving priests all over the nation; And into the bargain I'll readily give you Damn'd ignorant prelates and counsellors privy. Then let us no longer by parsons be flamm’d, For we know by these marks the place of the
damn'd: And Hell to be sure is at Paris or Rome. How happy for us that it is not at home!
THE DAY OF JUDGMENT *
With a whirl of thought oppress'd,
* This Poem was first printed (from the Dean's MS.) in a letter from lord Chesterfield addressed to Mr. Voltaire, dated Aug. 27, 1952. N.
JUDAS. 1731. By the just vengeance of incensed skies, Poor bishop Judas late repenting dies. The Jews engag'd him with a paltry bribe, Amounting hardly to a crown a tribe; Which though his conscience forc'd him to restore, (And, parsons tell us, no man can do more) Yet, through despair, of God and man accurst, He lost his bishoprick, and hang'd or burst. Those former ages differ'd much from this; Judas betray'd his master with a kiss : But some have kiss'd the Gospel fifty times, Whose perjury's the least of all their crimes; Some who can perjure through a two-inch board, Yet keep their bishopricks, and 'scape the cord : Like hemp, which, by a skilful spinster drawn To slender threads, may sometimes pass for lawn.
As ancient Judas by transgression fell, And burst asunder ere he went to Hell; So could we see a set of new Iscariots Come headlong tumbling from their mitred chariots; Each modern Judas perisb like the first, Drop from the tree, with all his bowels burst; Who could forbear, that view'd each guilty face, To cry, “ Lo! Judas gone to his own place, His habitation let all men forsake, And let his bishoprick another take !"
AN EPISTLE TO MR. GAY*. 1731.
How could you, Gay, disgrace the Muse's train,
Say, had the court no better place to choose
But princely Douglas, and his glorious dame,
Not love of beauty less the heart inflames Of guardian eunuchs to the sultan's dames, Their passions not more impotent and cold, Than those of poets to the lust of gold. With Pæan's purest fire his favourites glow, The dregs will serve to ripen ore below;
* The Dean, having been told by an intimate friend, that the duke of Queensberry had employed Mr. Gay to inspect the accounts and management of his grace's receivers and stewards (which however proved to be a mistake) wrote this Epistle to bis friend. P..
+ See the libel on Dr. Delany and lord Carteret. H, | The countess of Suffolk. H.