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ANT. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.1
DRO. S. Certain ones then.
ANT. S. Name them.
DRO. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his pottage.
ANT. S. You would all this time have prov'd there is
no time for all things.
DRO. S. Marry, and did, Sir: namely, no time to recover hair lost by nature.
ANT. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there
is no time to recover.
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.
ADR. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown!
DRO. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and
Thyself I call it, being strange to me,
Am better than thy dear self's better part.
I am not Adriana nor thy wife.
The time was once when thou unurg'd would'st vow
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
3 let fall.
As take from me thyself, and not me too.
I know thou canst; and therefore, see thou do it.
I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;
My blood is mingled with the grime of lust:
I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed,
I live unstain'd, thou undishonoured.
ANT. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not:
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your Town as to your talk;
Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
Luc. Fie, Brother! how the world is chang'd with you!
DRO. S. By me?
ADR. By thee: and this thou didst return from him:
That he did buffet thee, and in his blows
DRO. S. I never spake with her in all my life.
ANT. S. How can she thus then call us by our names,
ADR. How ill agrees it with your gravity
Denied my house for his, me for his wife.
ANT. S. Did you converse, Sir, with this gentlewoman?
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
ANT. S. To me she speaks; she means me for her theme:
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error draws our eyes and ears amiss?
I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.
Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
We talk with only Goblins, Owls, and Sprites!
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. 190
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
But I should know her as well as she knows me.
And shrive1 you of a thousand idle pranks.
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.
And in this mist at all adventures go.
DRO. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate!
SCENE I. Before the House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
ANT. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us!
To see the making of her carcanet,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? 10
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
Marry, so it doth appear
By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.
should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass. ANT. E. Y'are sad, Signior Balthazar? 'Pray God, our cheer
May answer my good will and your good welcome here. BAL. I hold your dainties cheap, Sir, and your welcome dear.
ANT. E. O Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish
A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. BAL. Good meat, Sir, is common: that every churl
ANT. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.
BAL. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches that thou call'st for such store,
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.
DRO. E. What patch is made our porter! My master stays in the street.
DRO. S. [within.] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold in 's feet.
ANT. E. Who talks within there? Ho, open the door! DRO. S. [within.] Right, Sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.
ANT. E. Wherefore? For my dinner! I have not din'd to-day.
DRO. S. [within.] Nor to-day here you must not: come again when you may.
ANT. E. What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe?3